Sunday Thoughts

I want to be a better writer.   I've decided to challenge myself to a series of writing prompts, which I plan to post here.

Writing for me is a way to digest life.  Reading what others have written is like going out to dinner.  Journaling is like making my own meal.  Writing publicly on a blog is like having everyone over for dinner.  I want to have my own food truck/catering biz- freelance?  And maybe even my own little hole in the wall restaurant- book?  If I am going to reach those goals I need to sharpen my culinary, uh-hem, writing skills.  No more margarine.  Time for real butter.   Maybe the challenge of writing prompts will help me refine my menu.

Today at Valley Life Church Surprise, the guy who leads the team that helps people get connected at the church, Michael, preached about the second commandment from Exodus 20. 

It always hits me when I'm at church how strange we are.  We Christians.  I mean what we do on any given Sunday in most Christian church gatherings.  We sit and listen to someone proclaim truths gleaned out of reading a book that is thousands of years old.  Our souls sing... hence for many raised hands, eyes closed, tears flow.  We sing songs about God's sovereignty and power and grace and love and we sing amazed.  We eat bread and drink juice and remember Christ's sacrifice.  We confess our sins and weep over them and rejoice at forgiveness and the help we find in the scriptures and each other.   I mean, I don't know first hand what happens in gatherings of Muslims or Hindus or Buddhists, but from what I read and hear, these religious gatherings are more like corporate prayers. Memorized prayers and chants.  But not adoration in singing and proclamation of God's self-sacrificing, heart-changing love.  And for the irr-religious, its even more weird what we do.  A morning spent singing songs of praise to the unseen God for an act done in history 2000 plus years ago that has changed the course of life for a millions of people from the inside out, causing them to no longer live for themselves but for the One who died for them?  Why?  Why not just clean the garage.  Or binge on Netflix.  Or work on your golf game.  Why do all that stuff?

Listening today to the comparison between the God of Israel and the multiple gods of the peoples Israel lived amongst (and got entangled with) I realized thousands of years may have passed, but the God of the Bible and his people still stand out in a world full of idols as different.  And we still get entangled in idol worship.  John's closing sentence at the end of 1 John is a relevant and needed message that we shouldn't pass so easily over:  Little children, keep yourselves from idols.  

The God of the Bible wants all of me.  My heart.  My affections.  My love.  He has given himself to me in covenant love.  No easy access idol that makes me feel good about myself for a little while should ever get between God and I.  

I start my online Introductory Algebra class on Tuesday.  I have no idea how this will work, but I am anticipating lots of hair pulling and frustrated Facebook posts.  Hopefully at the end of summer I can test into the math I need to get into the BSN program.  

Math is my nemesis. 

Let Down by God?

This past Sunday I stood in a high school theatre with dozens of people I don't know looking up at the screen where the band was projecting the words to the songs we were singing to God:

You're never gonna let
Never gonna let me down
You're never gonna let
Never gonna let me down

When I get to church, the words of every song we sing confront me.  And I hang on every word preached.  I can't mindlessly sing the songs.  I can't snooze through the sermon.  I'm too desperate.  I'm too thirsty.

So when the words to King of My Heart were on the screen Sunday, and I was singing with hot tears, "You are good."  I really meant it.  I really believe Jesus is God and He is good!  But when the words "You're never gonna let, never gonna let me down," came on the screen I stopped singing.  I stood there with heart exposed to the Holy Spirit's searching work and I knew I could not sing those words with honesty.  Instead I uttered a prayer, "Father you know me.  You know I can't sing that.  I confess I feel like you have let me down. But I know you are good. Help me to know you for who you really are."

I think I have a pretty good understanding of the God of the Bible.   I say that with much hesitation.  What I know is a glimpse, a taste of an infinity of truth.  I'll spend eternity never exhausting knowing God.  But I have been very blessed to have been taught by some great Bible teachers and mentors in the faith.  I've spent many hours chewing on the Bible.  I believe the Jesus I have never seen but love as revealed in the scriptures is the one and only God-Man, the Christ.  My creed is the creed Christ's historic and worldwide church has believed and proclaimed for thousands of years.  So when I read words like the words written in the song we sang on Sunday I realize something is amiss.  Either something's wrong with me and my understanding of the God of the Bible or something's wrong with those words cause I can think of 23 years of prayers unanswered that have left me feeling like God has let me down.

I'm not alone in my honest conflict with the words, "You're never gonna let me down."

Throughout the Bible God's people have had to come face to face with the incongruence of the Sovereign God they believe in and the circumstances in their life.

Job had to reconcile the horror he was living through with the God he proclaimed.  He felt the sovereignty of God in his boils and said, "Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face." Job 13:15

Moses questioned God when he had obediently confronted Pharaoh and was mocked and blamed for making the people he was sent by God to free work harder.  "Then Moses turned to the Lord and said, "O Lord, why have you done evil to this people? Why did you ever send me? For since I came to Pharaoh to speak in your name, he has done evil to this people, and you have not delivered your people at all." - Exodus 5:22

Noemi said it was God who had emptied her.  "Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?" Ruth 1:20-21

Even John the Baptist, who had looked at Jesus and declared, "Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!" found himself in prison and sent messengers to Jesus to ask if was really the Messiah they were all waiting for.

And there are many, many more examples.

Blessed are the un-offended

When John questioned Jesus' identity, Jesus' response was to point out all that he was doing.  And then he added, "Blessed is the one who is not offended by me."

Gulp.

Was I offended at Jesus in the words, “You’re never gonna let me down?”  Was I offended that Jesus had let me down by not answering my prayer the way I wanted?

The word offended sounds like scandalized in the language Jesus spoke it. skandalizō.

Blessed is the one who isn't scandalized by me.

It means to be caused to stumble.  To be caused to distrust the person you should trust.

Jesus is not a soft, yes man, who makes you feel good with positive affirmations.  Jesus is the rock that many stumble over and are offended by.  I stumbled over him on Sunday.  And like Job, Moses, Noemi, David and John the Baptist I have a choice: leave him offended or let the mountain of truth that he is be to me a shadow in which to hide, a rock of refuge to which I flee.

Who Else Is There?

Peter and the other ragamuffin disciples of Christ tripped over him too.  When Christ offered the saving truth that he had come to suffer and die broken, like bread, people were offended.  Those who had thought Jesus was there to feed their appetites in the form of miraculous power couldn't accept the idea that he had come to give life to their perishing souls in the form of a wrath-bearing substitutionary atoning sacrifice.  When Jesus saw the offended folks leave he asked his chosen ones, "Are you going to leave too?"  Peter- I love Peter, quick to speak and quick to trip and quick to fall Peter- opened his mouth and said words I say to Jesus not infrequently, "Lord, to whom shall we go?  You have the words of life. And we believe and have come to know that you are the Holy One of God"

Coming face to face with the reality of who Christ really is, is something we all must and will do.  What we do with who he is is the test of who we really are.

The blessed, oh how happy ones, sorrowful yet always rejoicing, are the ones who look at his sovereignty in his willing brokenness and risen power and say with Job, "Though he slay me, I will hope in him."  We feel let down, but we look up and we hope in him.  We believe and have come to know he is the only one with the words of life.  We know there is no where else to go.  We see his scars.  And we hear his risen promise to dwell in us and with us and we aren't offended.  We love him.  We want him.  By his good grace we won’t leave him.

Christmas madness?

I did some copying work for my 5th grader's teachers today, and then ate lunch with both my boys. On my way out the building a woman who has worked as a crossing guard there for a long time greeted me and threw in, "All the Christmas madness got to you yet?"

My response was, "No.  Actually, there is no Christmas madness in my house at all!"  She looked at me a little surprised.  Maybe she thought I was one of those religious people that doesn't celebrate holidays, or maybe I was just a scrooge.

"Actually, Christmas is a very sacred and happy time in my house.  I love Christmas!"  She gave me a look of curious acceptance with eyebrows raised and bid me a good day.

Christmas is the beginning of Easter for me.  It's the beginning of an exceedingly special time of celebrating the meaning, the goal, the redemption..the story of life.

I was raised in a church system that threw the baby of worship out with the dirty bathwater of meaningless rituals.  No doubt, worship happens, or can happen on any day, at any time of the day, not just on special days or holidays or Sundays or quiet times of "devotion".  Just the same, setting aside the "normal" things of life that can be (and oh that they would be) worship-filled, to observe a tradition or ritual or ceremony or dedicated, special activity which focuses one's attention on the beauty and truth of Christ is equally right and good and, I say, needed for a vibrant relationship with the living God.

My dad was not one to really celebrate any holiday growing up.  I understand, he was a broke log-truck driver with a family of 5 to feed.  Couldn't see much use in spending money on Christmas "stuff" and un-needed toys when there was concern about where the money for the groceries would come from during the layoff season in winter.  His logic and duty-driven work ethic permeates my thinking today, and I thank him for the help it gives me in not being attached to stuff.  But when it comes to worship- the expression of adoration of God with my life- duty is a blasphemous kill-joy and relationship killer. And logic does not negate the need for celebratory worship, if anything, logic demands it.  The most logical thing I could do in light of the wonders of the living God is celebrate him with my life, on special days and every day.

I'm reading Desiring God right now and Piper is expressing for me something I have not known how to express:

If I take my wife out for the evening on our anniversary and she asks me, "Why do you do this?" the answer that honors her most is, "Because nothing makes me happier tonight that to be with you."  

"It's my duty" is a dishonor to her.
"It's my joy" is an honor. 

There it is!… How shall we honor God in worship?  By saying, "It's my duty"?  Or by saying, "It's my joy"? -Desiring God, Revised Edition: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist 

For me, Christmas is not materialistic, nor is it a distraction from celebrating the substitutionary atoning death, and eternal-life guaranteeing resurrection of my Lord.  For me it's not a time to be logically persuaded that Christ was not born on Christmas day and therefore should not be celebrated on Christmas day, or that Christmas has its origins in paganism and therefore should be abominated.  It's not a time for me to do my duty and put up a tree and buy presents and go to church either.

For me, Christmas is a happy, dedicated season of celebrating and remembering and meditating on Christ- God incarnate for me and for His glory.   It is rich with meaning.  My senses get to take in a foretaste of what I feel when I read or speak the word glory.  I feel something.  I feel a glad expression of joy and awe at the condescension of God for me.  I want to put up lights and think on the Light of the World.  I want to smell the evergreens and inhale a hint of the beauty of the fragrance of the life of Christ.  I want to sing the songs and dance around my house and smile and scheme of giving gifts that will bring joy and revel in the wonder that the Word became flesh and dwelt among us so that he could take the trail to the tree and absorb the wrath aimed at me.

When I celebrate the birth of my son two days after Christmas I don't do it out of duty or despise it because it's illogical to eat cake and blow out candles.  I delight in throwing a party for my son being born.  Should I delight any less to celebrate the incarnation of God, my Savior; a son, not just for Mary, but for me, even me?

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. - Isaiah 9:6

Quieted,

Sheila

Anticipation

(Pics from last year's Oregon trip)

We spent almost the entire day at the new house but never managed to see much of each other. The boys were out on the back half of the acre most of the day either digging for treasure, shooting at ant hills with the BB gun, or chasing each other with water guns. James worked on pulling out the old sump pump from the basement and getting a new water softener and water heater from someone on Craigslist while I did the only thing I'm comfortable with in buying a fixer-upper... clean, and played gopher for James when he was at Lowe's and needed me to measure the pipe sticking up out of the sewage ejector pump and get the model number off the corroded thing. I plugged my nose and did my best. Ugh. I can't imagine working in the sewage business. Yuck!

 Bailey, our black lab, wore herself out chasing a squirrel and sniffing for cottontail bunnies.

 By the time we got home all my normal Saturday energies were spent, but I haven't even begun to do the normal stuff that needs to get done on a Saturday around the house we're still living in. I have a lot to do this week if I'm going to head to Oregon on the 8th.  Monday, after work, I take my physical and do all the HR stuff with Phoenix Baptist hospital. I start orientation on June 24th. Tuesday evening we have the end-of-season baseball party at a laser tag place. Wednesday is my last day at my school nurse job and I get to pick up a friend at the airport. Thursday and Friday will be preparing to leave Saturday for the long drive to Redding, CA to stay with my sister.

I look forward to these trips to Nor Cal and Oregon every year!  But I think my boys enjoy it even more.  They're yearly calendar seems to revolve around this trip.  They mention it throughout the school year with longing.  And as we get to summer, daily they ask, "When are we leaving for our trip to Oregon?"  They love the early morning wake-up the day we start out on our road-trip.  They anticipate it.  They know good times are comin'!

It's like that as a Christian.  Our calendar is built around the celebration of Christ.  And life is a pilgrimage and we move through our full days, change of addresses and daily tasks longing for those times when we get to come together and revel in the promises, and tell the Old, Old Story, and rejoice in the gift of Christ, and love one another and Him together, and anticipate the day of the consummation of our longing.

A song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem. A psalm of David. I was glad when they said to me, "Let us go to the house of the LORD." -Psalm 122:1

And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children,  including the new bodies he has promised us.  -Romans 8:24

 Quieted,

Sheila

All the way!

He leads me... even when I walk thru the dark valley of death... -Psalm 23:2b,4a

I just left the city pool where I watched my youngest take his swimming lesson. Two bleacher sets down, my estranged husband sat with my oldest.

We've been separated for over a year after 16 years of marriage and 5 years of reconciliation.

As I sat there in the blistering heat, tears flowed mixing with the sweat on my face. I looked up in the cloudy, hot sky and said in my heart, "Do you see me my Lord? Do you see how much I'm hurting?!!"

Five years ago my heart was full of enthusiasm to forgive and love... to let Christ be seen in me by my husband as I set out to just get behind him, "wash his feet", and be a blessing. It was my joy to just be home, and simply be a wife and mom! I felt it was my crown not just my duty. Jesus had loved me that way and I wanted to love my husband and kids that way!

But when this honor that I treasured and enjoyed so much was ripped from me I felt like Job:

He has stripped me of my glory, and taken the crown from my head! -Job 19:9 NLT

God gave me a crown, just like He gave Job. He gave us the everyday blessings of family and home, which we enjoyed and dedicated to God. We were content to bless God and others. We loved the Lord's love and set out to follow Him. But the very thing we were honored to do was taken from us. And we were left grieving.

But like Job, God has lifted my head and challenged me in my depression. He has reminded me that He is trying me and when I come forth I shall be as gold! He has reproved me and showed me that He knows what He's doing. He's leading me... EVEN thru the valley of the shadow of death. Yes He led me thru green pastures. Yes He led me beside still waters. But now He leads me thru the valley of the shadow of death and to a banquet table of His mercy and grace even while my enemies look on and point fingers!

As I was coming home from that painful swimming lesson the sweet Spirit of Comfort put a song in my heart. An old hymn.

All The Way My Savior Leads Me

by Frances J. Crosby 1875

All the way my Savior leads me,
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?

Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well;
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.

All the way my Savior leads me,
Cheers each winding path I tread,
Gives me grace for every trial,
Feeds me with the living Bread.

Though my weary steps may falter
And my soul athirst may be,
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see;
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see.

All the way my Savior leads me,
Oh, the fullness of His love!
Perfect rest to me is promised
In my Father’s house above.

When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages:
Jesus led me all the way;
This my song through endless ages:
Jesus led me all the way

I began singing and something sweet, something more wonderful than my "crown" filled my soul! A joy in willingly trusting ALL to Jesus. An indescribable joy. As I sang I felt the tender love which binds me with my Saviour. Who I know I will one day see, Who makes all this worth it!

Just in case you feel stripped of some God-given joy, you may want to stop and sing right now too:

Isaiah 51:3

Meditations on Nothing but the Blood of Jesus

Tonight I sang, "What can wash away my sins? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus... Oh precious is the flow that makes me white as snow. No other fount I know. Nothing but the blood of Jesus."

So much in those words. In times past the celebration of the fact that it's Jesus' blood, not my "blood,sweat and tears", but Jesus blood and His alone that can wash away my sins floods my soul. At other times, rest in the simpleness of it being Jesus plus NOTHING, which makes me right in God's eyes, fills me with peace. But tonight I was compelled while I sang. An argument against all accusations of being legalistic or too idealistic, or too extreme in my convictions filled me.

My heart was shouting, "It's too precious! His blood is too precious! I can't just flippantly do what I desire without any regard to what God says or take some of God's ways and leave behind the others that make me feel uncomfortable or restrained. Jesus' blood is too precious! I can't wink at sin or laugh at it or cozy up next to it... Jesus died for it. Don't you realize NOTHING but the blood of Jesus can wash away my sin!? It takes blood, precious blood, blood from the only pure, perfect, loving, kind One. It cost too much to just do whatever I want to do. It's not that I am trying to earn His favor, it's that He has suffered so much and shown me so much favor... how could I walk all over His grace and sacrifice like that?! The answer to why I do what I do or don't do what I don't do is, 'Jesus suffered, bled and died a cruel death for you and me... that's why!' "

There's seems to be a disconnect about works vs. faith when it comes to salvation. But if I just focus on the road of suffering Jesus took up to save me, all of those confusing arguments fall apart. The truth is NOTHING but the blood of Jesus can wash away my sins, therefore I'll never be able to walk through this life indulging my flesh and making excuses for my sin... there's too much precious, holy, blood that has been spilled to wash me clean of all those ways.

I can't wink at. I can't be entertained by it. I can't approve of those who practice it. I can only soberly stand on the truth that those ways cost Jesus spit in His face, a beard violently pulled out, gruesome tears of flesh all over His body, mockery amidst cardiopulmonary explosion, terrors of pain, and most of all the rejection from His Father; all while His precious blood flowed to save you and me.

When I sang "What can wash away my sins? Nothing but the blood of Jesus!" tonight, I declared why I can't live like my flesh desires. I am not my own. A heavy price was paid for me. It's that expensive grace which saves me. And it's that freely poured out grace which compels me to flee youthful lusts and obey the ways of God. I don't want to mock the blood of Jesus. I don't want to trample under foot His precious blood while I walk towards the fleeting pleasures of what He has declared as sin.

"What can wash away my sins?" isn't just a catchy old gospel hymn. It's the self-sacrificing call of Love on my life to live out the holiness purchased for me. It's a cause to be grieved with God over sin, not to poopoo it. It's a cause to intercede for those in sin and to cover it with self-sacrificing love. Love that would suffer to speak truth and impart grace. It's the price tag on my life.

So, friends, we can now—without hesitation—walk right up to God, into "the Holy Place." Jesus has cleared the way by the blood of his sacrifice, acting as our priest before God. The "curtain" into God's presence is his body. So let's do it—full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.

If we give up and turn our backs on all we've learned, all we've been given, all the truth we now know, we repudiate Christ's sacrifice and are left on our own to face the Judgment—and a mighty fierce judgment it will be! If the penalty for breaking the law of Moses is physical death, what do you think will happen if you turn on God's Son, spit on the sacrifice that made you whole, and insult this most gracious Spirit? This is no light matter. - Hebrews 10:19-31 The Message paraphrase

He loves us too much! He paid too much! I don't want to insult His sacrifice. Oh let me live in that pure fear of God. Not fear of punishment, but fear of trampling on His grace. Not fear of not being good enough. Fear of not responding with my life to His goodness.

Isaiah 51:3

What do I know of Holy

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

- Addison Road

Let me get the slightest glimpse to bring me to my knees again You who are Holy!

Isaiah 51:3

The Only Hope

The Only Hope - Bebo Norman

I want to run, it's my nature to run
And I want to fight, it's my nature to fight
And I want to live, but you tell me to die
I have resolved that I'm much better off
In your hands than mine

I'm begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to take my life from me
I want a crumb, but you are a feast
I want a song, but you are a symphony
I want a star, but your a galaxy

And I have resolved that I'm much better off
In what you have for me
I'm begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to take my life from me
So tell me you won't let go
Tell me you won't let go
Cause you are the only hope for me
Take my life from me, It's the only hope for me
Take my life from me, It's the only hope for me
And I'll never want for more
I'll never want for more

I'm begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to take my life from me

So tell me you won't let go
Tell me you won't let go
Cause your the only hope for me
You're the only hope for me
Yeah, your the only hope for me

Bebo wrote that song for me!!!

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

I sing this song a lot... I'm singing it tonight

Good To Me
by Craig Musseau

I cry out
For your hand of mercy to heal me
I am weak
I need your love to free me

O Lord, my rock
My strength in weakness
Come rescue me oh Lord

You are my hope
Your promise never fails me
And my desire
Is to follow you forever

For you are good
For you are good
For you are good to me
For you are good
For you are good
For you are good to me

Isaiah 51:3

If I had Two Hands

This is my new favorite song. I love Jars of Clay. Their lyrics always speak what I can never seem to put into words much less beautiful song.

My favorite line is:

"I have a broken disposition. I am a liar who thirsts for the truth..."

What do you think?

Isaiah 51:3

Just praise Him

Over the past three or four years one refrain has been continually spoken by the Spirit to me, "Just praise Him."

• "Just praise Him," when you're sick and can't do your household stuff.


• "Just praise Him," when you're well and could easily forget what a gift that is.


• "Just praise Him," when your husband doesn't respond the way you desire.


• "Just praise Him," when your husband treats you like a queen, taking you out for an expensive meal, while the enemy's there accusing you of betraying Christ for enjoying such a delacacy, reminding you that there's only a few bucks left in checking.


• "Just praise Him," when your kids roll their eyes, growl and fuss that they don't want to go to church and just want to stay home with daddy.


• "Just praise Him," when your kids run up to daddy and tell him that Jesus died so they can be with God forever.


• "Just praise HIm," when you get to be home though it's full of never-finished chores.


• "Just praise Him," when you're away from home because the Lord is watching over the house.


• "Just praise Him," when you get to teach your kids about grace and the Lamb of God in a Passover celebration at home.


• "Just praise Him," when you're away from your kids and they tell you about the bad day they had with their teacher.


• "Just praise Him," when you're tired.


• "Just praise Him," when you're energetic.


• "Just praise Him," when you're sad.


• "Just praise Him," when you're thrilled.


• "Just praise Him," when you're alone.


• "Just praise Him," when you're surrounded with friends.


• "Just praise Him," when you're accused.


• "Just praise Him," when you obey.


• "Just praise Him," when there's nothing you can do.


• "Just praise Him," when God let's you hold the wheel too.


• "Just praise Him Shiela! Just praise Him!"

Praise the Lord! Praise, O servants of the Lord, Praise the name of the Lord! Blessed be the name of the Lord From this time forth and forevermore! From the rising of the sun to its going down The Lord's name is to be praised. The Lord is high above all nations, His glory above the heavens. Who is like the Lord our God, Who dwells on high, Who humbles Himself to behold The things that are in the heavens and in the earth? He raises the poor out of the dust, And lifts the needy out of the ash heap, That He may seat him with princes-- With the princes of His people. He grants the barren woman a home, Like a joyful mother of
children. Praise the Lord! - Psalm 113:1-9

**** Okay, I just went looking for this song to sing while I'm starting my day and I found this video. I had to add it on here, cause it's EXACTLY the image of what God is speaking to my heart... Just praise Him even while all the world around carries on and the circumstances of life continue... Oh Praise HIM! Sometimes I just need to burst forth in praise like this guy no matter where I am.

Redeeming the time

Everything rides on hope now

I'm singing this song everywhere!

Everything rides on hope now Lord! Everything I've done destroys my dreams of what or how my life should be. I have no hope apart from You. My life is not my own...

Redeeming the time

I surrender all

In light of the Elizabeth Elliot post, when this song came on my ipod just now as I was laundering the same clothes I've washed daily for months, I was illuminated. Putting those clothes in the washer I sang, "I will ever love and trust You Lord and in Your presence daily live." It felt good just now, to put laundry in the washer. It really, truly felt good, cause I was seeing myself in the courts of my King, doing His laundry.

Redeeming the time

Are you kissing the Son with your life?

I love looking at the original meanings of key words in scripture. Recently the Lord brought to mind one such meaning I'd studied:

"But the time is coming and is already here when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for anyone who will worship him that way. For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth." John 4:23-24

Worship: Greek- Proskuneo: Verb, to kiss the hand to (towards) one, in token of reverence

This past few days it's been only in the shower and in the bathroom that I've found a bit of reprieve from serving my post-surgical man and kiddos. Going into this surgery I knew there would be much needed from me, and I was actually quite excited about it, because the Lord has taught me over the past three years that it's in willing service that so often an opportunity for Jesus to be seen, questions to be asked... gospel to be shared happens.

But, the test comes when my physical energy is running dry. My motives are examined, "Are you kissing the Son Sheila? Are you worshipping Him or just looking for a pat on the back?"

Like Peter sitting next to Jesus by the sea after His resurrection and being asked, "Do you love me?" my answer to the Spirit of God has been, "You know me Lord? You know that there's a fleshly, imperfect woman here who wants a pat on the back, but when You search me You know that truly I do love You. I love You because You've loved me so much. I am doing this in worship... as though I were kissing You with my life! You deserve my life and so much more!"

This is probably a busy time of serving others in your house too, being the holidays and all. Are you kissing Jesus' hand in reverence with your service as worship? May we give Him our lives and do all we do as though we were kissing our Redeemer!

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Romans 12:1

Redeeming the time,

The LORD is our Provider: Jehovah Jireh

In the times we live, in whom or what we trust for provision is tested. As I was just fixing my boys their lunch of PB&J, the old song Jehovah Jireh, came to mind. I sang it and it brought me instant peace! I went looking for it on YouTube and instead found this short, beautiful reminder that our LORD is our provider!

And if you want to get up and dance and worship Jehovah Jireh here's this:

Jehovah Jireh

My provider
His grace is sufficient
For me, for me,
for me
Jehovah Jireh
My provider
His grace is sufficient for me

My God shall supply all my needs
According to his riches in glory
He will give His
angels
Charge over me
Jehovah Jireh cares
For me, for me, for me
Jehovah Jireh cares for me

Redeeming the time,

It's your kindness Lord...

I may not get to get on here and post the things that have been on my heart these past few days, but I wanted to at least share this song my heart is singing this morning!

Your love is better than life JESUS!!!!!

Redeeming the time,

October 31st is the Lord's!

I have a burden for October 31st. I feel jealous for my Lord on this day it seems more than others. I know the controversy amongst Christians concerning Halloween and I'm not speaking to that, except to say I pray all Christians will act by faith, according to their conscience before God this day just like any other day. What I'm writing about here is this voice that's crying out from within me, "October 31st is the Lord's! It's not Satan's birthday, or the darkness's special day. It's not a day for witches or ghosts. It's not a day to celebrate decapitation or evil (which I've seen twice today already, just going into Walmart... that's another post!). This is the day that the Lord has made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it!

I guess because so many are so blatantly enjoying dressing up like death and murderers and various depictions of evil and horror, I feel like I cannot keep silent on this day! My worship and my shine must be all the more bright.

And I can't hide my kids from the celebration of evil they see everywhere on this day. If I go into Walmart, there's a cashier with perfectly done makeup and costume realistically displaying herself as a nearly decapitated, beaten to death woman. If I go into Micheal's to get a frame for my kids' latest artwork, there I see a moving, moaning statue of a decapitated bride holding her own head. Because the violence is everywhere, I've vigilantly been talking with my boys about what Jesus says about death and evil. I've been teaching them the truth that God is Love and love does not rejoice in evil!

Love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. 1 Corinthians 13:6
(Good News Translation)

I've been seeking to redeem the time as I teach them to follow me as I follow Christ in speaking what's true and rejoicing in it.

Therefore He says: "Awake, you who sleep, Arise from the dead, And Christ will
give you light." See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise,
redeeming the time, because the days are evil. - Ephesians 5:14-16

Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech
always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to
answer each one. - Colossians 4:5-6

What's true is God created everything for His pleasure, His glory, His honor and to reveal His power! So I've been teaching the boys that because we hope in Christ, though we will die someday (unless Jesus comes for us first) we will live.

I've been telling them that God is love and love doesn't rejoice in evil, so when we see a murder depicted in costume, I literally fight back tears and look in their eyes and say, "That's murder sons. We are sad about that, not happy. God is sad about that, not happy."

I've also been buying back what God created that seems to be attributed to evil and darkness this time of year. For instance, I've talked with them about the spooky and yucky things God made, like eyeballs, and guts, bats and black cats... even the night God made. I've been walking around saying, "God made bats. Thank you Jesus for bats. God made cats. Thank you Jesus for cats." God made all these things to reveal Himself and His attributes, His creativity and His beauty... they don't belong to the devil or hell!

As for witches and ghosts I've talked to them about the heart of our Father and the wonders of the unknown spirit world we don't see with our eyes. I've said, "Boys, God is like the best daddy in the whole world... even better. He knows what's best for us. He doesn't want us to participate or celebrate or identify ourselves with witches because witches don't know Jesus and they talk to demons... angels that follow the devil. And God wants us to be unafraid of spirits, though there are real spirits, some who obey God and worship Him, and some who hate God and try to destroy everything He made."

My boys are going to see witches, ghosts, murderous costumes and the like tonight, but I trust that God's word is mightier and the open worship of Jesus as the creator of all things is brighter, even more in the darkness.

You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory and honor and power. For
you created everything, and it is for your pleasure that they exist and were
created." - Revelation 4:11

So tonight we are worshiping Jesus, Lord of October 31st LOUD! We are playing this music on our front porch:

We are displaying the truth about death (when you know Jesus) in these signs and fake gravestones which have the stories of faith that go with the person who was a witness of Jesus to this world, along with a sign declaring, "It's all YOURS God!" We're also praying like crazy and looking forward to inviting the kids who come by our house to play a game with us in the yard and enjoy some hot cider and treats... just to be in our presence that Christ might shine on them.

I love You Lord Jesus! I offer these signs and activities, these interactions and discussions, these intercessions and conversations as worship! Be glorified! We were created for Your pleasure!

What I'm singing this morning

This morning the words of this song are overflowing from my heart and reminding why I feel drained, poured out, emptied, and spent in a day. I've given my life, all of it, to Jesus. I'm poured out and drained for Him. Each morning He gives me the grace and mercy sufficient for the day. And this morning as I sang these words to Him I heard, "Remember Sheila, that You gave me all of you today." And as though He was giving me a slide show with that reminder I saw myself on the kitchen floor, cleaning up the fiftieth glass of spilled something, sighing, secretly thinking, "I'm so tired. I'm so spent."

"That's when I want you to remember Sheila, that you gave me all of you. Then you'll be able to smile and gladly worship me in your offering of cleaning up what never stays clean."

If you're a mom, I encourage you to sing this song to Jesus from your heart. And then today your emptied out life as a mom won't seem vain to you. You'll remember that you offered Jesus ALL of you!



Take my life and let it be consecrated Lord, to thee.
Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of thy love.
Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for thee.

Take my voice and let me sing always, only for my king.
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from thee.
Take my silver and my gold not a might would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use every power as you choose.

::Chorus::
Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for thee.

Take my will and make it Thine it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart it is thine own; it shall be thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord I pour at your feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be ever, only all for thee,
Take myself and I will be ever, only all for thee.

Here am I, All of me.
Take my life, It's all for thee.
x3

(Take my life, Lord take my life. take all of me)

Here am I, All of me.
Take my life, It's all for thee.

Caring for orphans and being poured out as a mom

"...for I am already being poured out, and the time of my release hath
arrived..." 2 Timothy 4:6 Young's Literal Translation

This morning I have two specific moms on my heart. One is my sister and friend Summer, and the other my sister and friend Kandace (my sibling sister).

I received a heart-touching email from my sister Kandace this morning.

She and her husband have been going through the necessary steps to adopt in their state system for the past 2 years. Just two days ago, they finally got a call to take in two young boys ages 9 months and 18 months for foster care.

My sister has struggled with resigning herself to foster care, feeling like she'd have to experience loss constantly, when the children are taken away, since she cannot but pour out her love and not hold back when they are with her. But finally, she and her husband, after much prayer and waiting, have decided to give themselves over to loving whatever children come into their home, whether they get to adopt them or not, and to trust that God is doing what is best for them (the children and them as a couple).

When I hear my sister's heart, and see what she and her husband are doing, my heart overwhelms with joy and compassion because I see the heart of God and His plan for all moms in my sister's story.

Like my sister, we moms who have "our own" children that we bore with our bodies, must give ourselves over to vulnerably loving them, training them, and pouring out our lives into them, not knowing when they may be taken. All moms are foster moms so to speak. It's easy to forget and think of our kids as our own since they were born from our bodies, or, if we adopted, since they are legally ours, but the truth is, God has done through us what His word says He does.

"He administers justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the
stranger, giving him food and clothing." Deuteronomy 10:18

By placing a child in our care, God has administered justice for the fatherless. If that child comes through our body, God uses our body. If that child comes through our front door, God uses our door. And to the degree that we are willing to be poured out on these children's lives, loving them, training them, being an example of Christ to them, we are revoking our rights as moms in trade for worshipping God through loving these little ones with redeeming love. Our lives become an offering to God, which is the best, most fulfilling, and most fruitful way to mother a child. Through us He administers justice for the fatherless.

When I looked at the picture of Summer and Zane and their ever growing family of beautifully colored children this morning, after reading the email from my sister, I just felt the heart of God changing me and showing me what He says motherhood is.

It doesn't center on me and my needs, it centers on God administering justice for the fatherless. It doesn't center on me being loved, it centers on me being a vessel through which Christ's redeeming love can capture the hearts of children in my care. It isn't so much about being filled up (though their is great satisfaction and filling in loving children), it is about me being poured out!

I remember singing this song when I was in my church's youth group:

Would you be poured out like wine upon the altar for Me?

Would you be broken like bread to feed the hungry?

Would you be so one in Me that I may do just as I will?

Would you be light, and life and love My Word fulfill?

Yes, I'll be poured out like wine upon the alter for You!

Yes, I'll be broken like bread to feed the hungry!

Yes, I'll be so one in You that You may do just as You
will!

Yes, I'll be light, and life, and love Your Word fulfill!

I find myself singing that song often in a day, when I start to feel complaints rise in me cause, "I don't have any time for myself," or, "I'm drained! I need a break!" As soon as I begin singing I hear Jesus asking me if I'll be poured out like wine upon the altar of my kids' lives for Him. His love changes the way I think about being a mother.

Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering
of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. -Philippians 2:17

My sisters have reminded me this morning of God's will for me as a mom- the beauty and privilege of being poured out like an offering of worship as God administers justice for two boys who would be orphans if I didn't obey God's call on my life.

Lord Jesus thank You for my sisters Kandace and Summer. Thank You for loving me like they are loving the little ones You've entrusted to them. Thank You for reminding me that this is the ecstasy of life... being poured out in love because that's what You did for me! I can't be "life and light and love Your Word fulfill" apart from You. But through You I can do all things. I give You my body, my time, my mind and emotions, my will.... Lord Jesus, please have Your way with me. I trust You to guard and keep that which I've entrusted to You- the hearts and minds of these two little boys. Lord, as Kandace and Wally, Summer and Zane, pour out their lives into the little ones You've brought to them, I pray You would become more and more known to them. That they may know Your love increasingly and Your presence very really. Guard and keep the seeds planted in their little ones.

Lily among thorns

Oh to be so pure

Such innocence

Oh to be so tender

Such vulnerability

Oh to be so bold

Such fearlessness

Oh to be so honest

Such unashamedness

Oh to be so childlike

Such trust

Oh to be so wise

Such truth

Oh to be so willing

Such surrender

Oh to be so pained

Such sacrifice

Oh to be so selfless

Such love

Oh to be like God

Such holiness

Oh to be like The Son

Such confidence in Dad

Oh to be totally changed

Such redemption

I sense You in me. I know You're there.

I sense You because You're totally different than me.

Your presence makes me aware of how I'm none of the "Oh to be's" above.

Such as is listed I sense in me, but it's You!

I want to weep, because You're so tender, so innocent, so willing to love me though it hurt You so terribly.

I want to cry out to my flesh and the world around me, "Don't you see!!!? Don't you see how pure He is?! Don't you see that everything you think that He has said do is so trivial, only a matter of perspective or religion, is a slap in His innocent face! If He said it don't you see that there is no malice in Him and that He is good? Why do you pollute what He has called pure?! Why do you step on His virgin heart (which is perpetually virgin, perpetually innocent, perpetually pure, perpetually perfect, perpetually wise, perpetually vulnerable, perpetually willing, perpetually right) with your assumption that because it doesn't pain you it's not paining Him! ?"

I know it's not me because I'm the one who stepped on Your virgin heart with my calculated decision that I was harming no one.

Yet You've come to live in me and now I find that I'm beginning to think like You.

I'm beginning to feel vulnerable and tender.

I'm beginning to feel childlike trust and innocence.

I'm beginning to be bold and fearless.

I'm beginning to find that only in You is there a place to bear the pain of loving people the way You do.

I'm beginning to find that only You keep my heart tender and pure.

Everywhere else, even where my own thoughts are, I only find

mocking

and marring,

rejection

and accusation,

violence

and molestation

disguised in "modern" thinking and being "socially acceptable."

"Come on Sheila! Don't you see how silly it is to think like that?"

Slap!

"Look at this! This will make you prettier!"

Slashes mar me

"You believe that!?"

Rejection

"Who do you think you are? You think you're better than everyone else?!"

Accusations punch

"This will give you a thrill!"

Violence

"This will spice up your sex life!"

Molestation steps on my secret garden

Me: Oh my Love! Come take me away! Rescue me! My heart is bludgeoned!

Him: "I'm here Sheila. I've never left you. It's my heart that is bludgeoned. I'm showing them I love them through you. Be willing. Be tender. Be bold. Be wise. Be childlike in your trust. Be surrendered. Be pained. Be innocent. Be vulnerable. Be selfless. Be like God. Be Holy. I have spoken these things to you so you are them."

Me: The voice of my beloved! Behold, he comes Leaping upon the mountains, Skipping upon the hills. My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold, he stands behind our wall; He is looking through the windows, Gazing through the lattice. My beloved spoke, and said to me: "Rise up, my love, my fair one, And come away. For lo, the winter is past, The rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; The time of singing has come, And the voice of the turtledove Is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth her green figs, And the vines with the tender grapes Give a good smell. Rise up, my love, my fair one, And come away! O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, In the secret places of the cliff, Let me see your face, Let me hear your voice; For your voice is sweet, And your face is lovely." (Song of Solomon 2:8-14)

Him: "I'm here Sheila. I am the rose of Sharon, And the lily of the valleys. Like a lily among thorns, So are you my love among the daughters. (Song of Solomon 2:1-2)"