found by grace. looking to Jesus. loving a husband. raising men. nurse to the broken.
Showing posts with label nursing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nursing. Show all posts
Nursing: a degree that honors the profession is not the evidence of competence
Today is the last day of my second week in the BSN online program at GCU. Tonight after 14 hours at work I submitted the first collegiate paper I've written in 17 years. The assignment: A formal 750-1000 word paper discussing the difference in competency between the associates prepared nurse and the baccalaureate prepared nurse, as well as identifying a patient care situation where approaches to nursing care or decision making might differ in having a BSN versus a diploma or associates degree in nursing. In my initial attempt I wrote 500 words without thinking twice and found all I had was an impassioned argument for why the RN, BSN isn't any more competent than the RN, ADN. It hit a nerve. But what developed I think was a pretty well thought out paper which addressed the subject matter the instructor wanted while pointing out that the perspective taken in writing this paper all depends on how you view competency. The main difference in competency is not clinical skills for bedside nursing. The main difference is competency in being seen as a professional amongst other health care professionals, and in honoring the leading role nursing is in health care with a degree which is fitting. Nurses with BSN degrees can move into leadership positions and be seen by their cohorts as professionals. Nurses with BSN degrees raise the bar for how nursing is viewed.
Nursing has evolved over it history from a job seen only fitting for, "an ignorant woman, who was not fit for anything else," (Draper, 1893/1949) where nurses blindly obeyed doctors orders without questions. Nurses in American history strove to get nursing to be seen as a profession with a unique perspective on health care. And they weren't wrong to strive for that. Nursing is a profession. It isn't mindless task work. Nurses today have to manage the health care of acutely complexly ill patients while collaborating with doctors, therapists, and other health care professionals. The truth is nurses are professional health care providers. But that truth is being pushed to light in a system that is still trying to work in the dark with nurses as medicine delivery technicians. Nurse's are expected to have the knowledge of their professional cohorts while working in environments that continue to expect timed tasked work. Other health care professionals in the health care system aren't expected to answer call-lights, take patent's trays, empty trays, pass medications, take vital signs, answer phones, call referrals, enter orders into computer system, clean their own equipment, file repair reports, make beds, move beds, order patent's meals, draw labs, draw blood, communicate with pharmacy, IT, management, CNA's, family members, case managers, cafeteria staff, PPS coordinators, doctors, nurse practitioners, PA's, patients, maintenance, housekeeping, central supply, linen services, etc. Nurse's are expected to do all that, plus do extensive documentation and assess, plan, coordinate and carryout a plan of care for their patients as well as educate their patients and the families all in a 12 hour shift.
If the system is going to push nursing to be seen as the profession it is, as equals among health care professionals, the system has to stop treating nurses like waitresses.
The truth is nursing is a service-oriented profession. Good nurse's will always do the "dirty work"of lowering themselves to help someone else. That is not beneath the profession of nursing. But the pressure to do more tasks in a 12 hour period as well as the pressure to be seen as a professional by getting a higher degree are pressing hard on nurses so that the ones who do get higher degrees are moving away from bedside nursing beyond their first year as nurses.
The work of a nurse historically is honorable, no matter what society thought of them. Whether doctor's respected nurse's or bullied them, nurses have been advocates of health and people in need of health care for centuries. The work of practical nursing does not require a bachelor's degree. And that does not mean nursing is a job vs. a profession. But nurses do have a unique way of approaching health care that is distinct from doctors. Doctors treat disease. Nurses approach people wholistically for their health and well being. Nurses should be seen as health care professionals. And I'm glad to honor the profession of nursing with a fitting degree. I just wish the system would honor the profession of nursing not just with pressure to attain a higher degree, but with a role in health care (I'm especially thinking of acute health care, a.k.a. the hospital) that honors the profession.
At work today I parked a patient with severe brain injury next to me at the nurse's station for his safety and my convenience. I had about four hours of charting to do and he couldn't communicate or control his body safely with attached tubes and lines. As I assessed his needs through facial expressions, the way he held a pencil and the tears welling up in his eyes while he squeezed my arm and pointed to the coffee cup he couldn't drink out of, I decided he was communicating his despair. I put my hand on his back and gently scratched while assuring him he was in a good place and we were going to do all we could to help him get better. He arched his back and made an expression of relief, enjoying the back rub. A lot of problems get solved with a back rub (and a cup of coffee if the patient can have it). It doesn't take a BSN to make an aphasic man feel comforted. But it does take the kind of compassion that rubs a back to make a professional nurse.
I think I can I think I can I think I can
I completed my virtual classroom with my university counselor, Simon, and finished my first online assignment and bio. Day one of going back to school as a 43 year old- done.
I listened to a podcast while doing dishes today (yes, we wash our dishes by hand) where the podcasters speculated about how a day a work in their individual careers would be different if it was 1985. I don't know that I wish 1985 back, but I do feel more comfortable with a manual, real-paper-book, life than I do with the online, technology driven life. Getting online with my school counselor to do a virtual tour of my "classroom" had me feeling like... a 40 something year old college student. I'm excited to learn, but I admit I'm intimidated by the technology. Next: Learn Powerpoint.
Got a voicemail from an FFA student in Globe, AZ who asked her FFA group could market my soap for a agri-business marketing project. I've also had several people email, text and message me asking what soap I have available. I haven't made a batch of soap in several months. I want to make soap. I like it that people benefit from and enjoy my soap. But I feel like making soap and selling soap right now is distraction from the direction I'm going right now, which is pursuing a higher degree in nursing.
Going back to school, having people inquiring about my soap, having people at work encouraging me to promote into a leadership position, having two sons in the throes of puberty, having a troubled marriage (which is currently better than it has ever been), having a church family (finally!) that I've committed to investing myself in... all of these have me seeking God for what it looks like for me to run the race set before me, eyes fixed on Jesus.
The school, soap and work could drop off the planet for me right now. They're not eternally important. But the sons, and the husband and the people I'm getting know and serve at church, they are. When I think about my "race"- the life God has set before me to run by faith, I don't think about school or soap or work very much (although I do think about my witness as a Christian in those arenas of my life). What I do think about is the people I live with everyday and the people throughout history and geographically who will be my family eternally. The desire for those to be one group is a burden I take to the only One who can transfer anyone from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of his Son.
And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will. - 2 Timothy 2:24-26
post anesthesia thoughts
(has nothing to do with the post, just a pretty pic i took a long time ago)
I'm not going to over think this post too much. I had minor surgery today and am still feeling drunk on leftover anesthesia/fentanyl/percocet. Consider yourself and the three other people reading this warned.
In the past few weeks I've been listening to podcasts from writers, reading articles about blogging and freelance writing, etc. In one of those I was admonished to write something daily. Be it a blog post, a journal entry, a poem... something. Because writers don't just think about writing, they write. I think my pastor said or wrote that once too. It struck me then, and when I read this lady's article. I am a writer. Not a known writer. Not the best writer. But I enjoy writing and I just process life better when I'm writing. But when I set out to write something, especially publicly, I sometimes step in the quicksand of self-analyzing and get stuck there. And then I don't write anything. And that sucks.
So, I took that lady's advice and decided to write something daily. And the next day my MacBook's hard-drive failed. My 13 year old black Lab Bailey decided jump onto the chair where I was sitting on the back patio (something she has never done) sending Mrs. Mac descending to the concrete. I believe she lasted 48 hours after that and died (the Mac, not Bailey). Soooo, my writing daily challenge has been mostly limited to journaling.
I worked consecutively this past Friday, Saturday and Sunday at the acute rehab unit where I practice one of the least-glamorous forms of nursing and often found myself thinking about the importance of doing the least-glamorous as a Christian. But that's another blog post. Those past three days I wrote notes on paper about my patients and nothing more.
Today I returned to the same hospital as a patient. That's a good thing to do as nurse. I had a minor being-a-girl related surgery that will hopefully help being a pre-menopausal girl with girl-problems be less problematic in the coming years. Such a surgical procedure is neither something one wants to talk about nor read about so I'll spare you. But the experience of being a nurse on the other side is worth writing and reading about.
I dont' tell nurses caring for me that I'm a nurse until I feel like they feel comfortable with me and I with them, or until they ask me what I do for a living. That being said, I was really glad 7 different people asked me my name, date of birth and what procedure I was having today. I know as a nurse this is a monotonous part of our job, constantly asking questions our patients often get tired of answering, but its reassuring as a nurse to know the people about to put me into a drug-induced coma and cut on my flesh are repetitively asking for the same information ensuring I'm not going to wake up without a leg or something.
While waiting for the doctor to come talk with me before the procedure, my husband and I had a very interesting conversation about Christian theology, homosexuality and forming personal relationships with people who don't share your worldview. We don't share the same view on the first two of those three, but we agree that talking and listening with people who don't see life the way you do is a good thing for both parties and the community.
The longer I stay married to a man who doesn't see life the way I do, the more I see how amazing Christ is... he is the great unifier of the most diverse people. He makes a new person. And he makes a person new. "And such were some of you..." The goal may be to win a person to Christ, but it's never to win an argument about Christ. Required: humility, faithfulness and love. May he bless me with those three treasures. Oh to be made new! And the wonder that he is making me new. "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it."
Lessons from a Monday
I worked a 12 hour shift today. It was a good day. Less stressful than the day I wrote about here, but still busy. A good busy. Not a I-have-no-idea-what-happened-in-the-past-12-hours busy. We had a couple of admissions at the end of the shift which made for a very busy end of shift. 4 to 7 PM went by in 5 seconds flat and I accomplished about 20 things in that period of time in an ever-changing order of importance.
After work I drove to my son's club baseball tryouts and listened to the 11 year old version and 44 year old version of The Wallet and Tablet That Was Stolen From the Truck story. I watched the 13 year old make a couple of great hits (or crush the ball as he would put it) and then drove the 11 year old home so he could be in bed before 10:30.
While I was driving home some small epiphanies were dawning on me:
- It's so helpful to try and understand another person's point of view. Trying to explain to a frustrated nursing assistant why I could understand her frustration with patient so-and-so but if she could just try to put herself in patient so-and-so's shoes she might be less frustrated, I realized what a gift it is to be able to be a nurse. A nurse gets patients of all kinds. Patients are people. They had moms and dads, whether they knew them or not. They may or may not have kids. They had jobs and previous battles with illness. They may have estranged children and unconventional living circumstances. They probably have a story behind their rudeness, or impulsivity, or confusion, or fear, or flat affect or foul smell. Taking the time to listen to people (patients) takes time. Time away from charting and tasks on the task list. And that's ok. Taking time to listen makes a difference in people's lives and makes us better people. Nurses get to do that in a way most of us don't. When the cashier is rude at the checkout we don't really have time to ask them about where they're from or if they have kids or why they are where they are. But nurses do. In fact, admitting a patient to the hospital can be a great exercise in listening and trying to understand another person. It's a special opportunity.
- One should never leave a wallet full of cash ($430 to be exact) and an electronic tablet sitting in an unlocked car at a high school while one drops one's child off at baseball practice. This a mouth-full of humble pie for one who is a law-enforcement officer.
- The Christian Church should be like a good nurse: She seeks the wellness of those who come to her even if it seems to hurt them at times. She does not condemn the broken ones who come to her for being broken. She gives of herself to minister to them the orders of the Great Physician for their wholeness.
- My thoughts after reading 1 Peter- If you can't love and serve the foul-mouthed, arrogant, perverse, flippant, reckless cranks and jesters around you while refraining from the foulness, arrogance, perverseness, flippancy, complaining and levity they slander you for not joining them in, you haven't really begun to taste Christ in you. Christ in you is what it means to be a Christian. And Christ in you will compel you to lay down your life to love and serve others with grace and truth whether they malign you or praise you. Whether they cherish you or take advantage of you. Whether they treat you with respect or utterly disregard you. Because you want them to join you in the joy of being brought to God. I've barely begun to taste and I want more. It's crazy.
All on a Monday.
"For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God..." 1 Peter 3:18
Quieted,
Sheila
a 12 hour shift
(I have no pics of my work in rehab, so this image of working with a traumatic brain injury patient is from MSKTC.org )
I don't work in an E.R. or I.C.U. or any critical care conditions. I work in an acute rehab unit. Most nurses I work with yawn when they think about the nursing work in rehab. You only have to chart an assessment once a shift. No one's on a monitor. You don't have very many patient's on I.V.'s. And for the most part, the patients are stable. So when I go home exhausted, feeling like I ran a marathon, my feet ache and I'm pretty sure I didn't document what happened all day very well, I feel a little like breaking down what it is I did all day and saying, "I know it's not critical care, but it's rehabilitative care and that is very labor-intensive and teaching intensive."
Tuesdays and Thursdays are conference days on my unit. Every Tuesday and Thursday the patients individual situations are reviewed in a closed-door meeting of the PPS Coordinator (I still don't know exactly what that means but it's the RN who deals with medicare and justifying patients' needs for acute rehab), the Physiatrist (that's the rehab physician), the OT (occupational therapist), PT (physical therapist), SLP (speech language pathologist), CM (case manager), RN clinical manager, and RN caring for the patient. Depending on how many patients are on the unit this meeting can take anywhere from 5 minutes to 2 hours. Today it took 2 + hours. This occurs while these same therapists and floor nurses are carrying a load of 4-6 patients on the floor that day and bouncing like ping pong balls in and out of the meeting to give their input on the patient, listen to the team's input, and come up with a potential discharge date. Today I had 5 out of the 12 patients to bounce into this meeting to discuss, which meant my morning from 7 am to around 1pm went something like this:
- Get report from two night shift nurses about my 4 patients and the 1 patient a float nurse (a nurse who came to care for patients on our floor but is not a staff member on our floor) has so I can know what's going on with that patient since I will be doing the conference on that patient (float nurses can't do conferences on patients on our floor).
- Sign into the EMR (electronic medical record) and begin documenting that I received report and what the fall risk and mobility score my patients are and what education I will be doing with them that day.
- Review the chart for orders, notes from doctors from the previous day, labs, vital signs, test results and medications that are due.
- It's now 8 am. Conference begins at 10:30.
- Visit each of my patients briefly to introduce myself. Do a general assessment just by talking with them (Are they alert and oriented? Any pain? Any nausea? Are they constipated? Can they urinate? Do they need O2? Do they have any skin concerns/wounds?). Take some patients to the bathroom. Get some of them out of bed. Get some of them water. Get some of their breakfast trays set up. Call a CNA to come help pull someone up in bed.
- It's now 8:30 am. Two hours till conference.
- Go to the Pyxis (the machine that dispenses the medications) and begin pulling 9 am medications for my patients. I pull the meds for 2 patients since they're on the same hall, place them in different bags, label them and set out to look for a WOW (a rolling computer kiosk that I push around all day from room to room to give medications with and document my care of the patients) that works. (It's about a 50% chance that the WOW you pick will loose it's battery life halfway through scanning your patients meds so you hope to find the one you know keeps a charge).
- Answer the phone. It's been ringing the whole time I've been in the Pyxis room getting meds and everyone else is either on the phone already or in a patient's room. It's doctor so-and-so who wants to know who the nurse caring for patient such-and-such is? I put him on hold. Look for the assignment list. Find the patient and their assigned nurse on the list. Use the vocera (a clip-on phone device where anyone can get ahold of you anytime, anywhere as long as you've turned yours on and logged into it) to call the nurse who doesn't have a vocera. I push my WOW to an outlet, plug it in and set out to find the nurse the doctor is holding for. Finding the nurse, I stop to answer 2 call lights (call lights are patients pushing the red "nurse" button on the remote in their bed to get a nurse to come to their room), take an empty breakfast tray out of a room per the patients request and help a patient to the bathroom.
- It's now 9:00 am. I start passing my medications.
- In my first patients room I have a quick, easy assessment looking at wounds that are healing nicely, talking to a patient who's alert and oriented and has no new problems or complaints. But I do make note to follow up with the doctor about a question the patient had. I pull out the meds, scanning the patients armband with a scanning wand exactly like the one in the self-checkout isle at Sam's Club. It beeps. The right screen pops up. The computer confirms that I have the same patient that the patient reports to be by telling me their full name and birthday- I can proceed. I scan each medication telling the patient what it is and what it's for if they don't already know. The patient complains of constipation so I make a note to bring back a medication later to help with that. I ask if there's anything else I can do and since there's nothing I let them know I'll be back to see them throughout the day and hand them their call light so they can reach me. On to the next patient.
- It's now 9:15am. My vocera goes off. Dr. So-and-So is on the phone for me. I push my WOW to an outlet, plug it in. Walk to the nurse's station and answer the phone. I give the Dr. a report on their patient, hang up and return to my WOW. On to patient number 2.
- In patient number 2's room I find a lot more to do. The patient is in bed. The breakfast tray is on a bedside table 10 feet away from the bed, and the room is dark. I introduce myself. Ask if the patient would like to get up and eat breakfast (In rehab we don't leave patients in bed for meals. All patients, if at all possible, get out of bed for all meals). I open the blinds to let some light in. Patient #2 would like to get up. I plug my WOW into the outlet in the patient's room, take the medications with me and set out to find a CNA or willing RN to help me transfer the patient (who requires 2 people to assist with transferring from bed to chair). The nurse's station is empty, a phone is ringing, and 2 call lights are going off. I answer the phone. Patient such-and-such's family member would like to speak to the nurse caring for their loved one. I place the person on hold, vocera the nurse and converse with a doctor who showed up at the nurse's station after exiting my patient's room. We discuss some changes and I get orders for some thing's he'd like nursing to do for his patient. I make a mental note and call for a CNA to help me with my patient. Together we transfer this patient from their bed to the wheelchair. I've performed some of my assessment in talking with the patient and transferring them. I complete the assessment with a listen to their heart, lungs and abdomen and a few orientation questions: What's today's date? Where are you? Why are you here? I go on to ask about pain or any other issues or complaints. The patient shares with me a couple of big concerns. I note them on my "brain" (a piece of paper I scratch notes on all day) and begin scanning the patient's armband and medications. I discuss the plan of care for the day and the changes the doctor wants implemented. I ask if there's anything else I can do before I leave and then exit the room with a promise to return every 2 hours to carry out the new treatment ordered by the doctor.
- It's now 9:50. I head to the Pyxis room to get medications for patients #3 and #4. On my way into patient #3's room I'm flagged down by the WOC,RN (that's the Wound, Ostomy, Continence RN) who would like me to assist her in the assessment of wounds and dressing changes in Patient #2's room. I let her know I'll meet her there in a few minutes. I continue into Patient #3's room and perform my same routine of intro, asking questions, assessing the patients condition and discussing the plan of care for the day. This discussion included plans for discharge today and the patient's concerns and questions about how it was going to happen. While discussing and assessing I was also scanning the patient's armband and medications to give them quickly knowing I was needed in the other room to address wounds. I made quick notes on my "brain" about the patient's requests for PRN meds and asked if there was anything else I could do. I left the room with a promise to return with the requested medications.
- It's now 10:10. Conference begins in 20 minutes and I still have a half a dozen wounds to address, another patient to give medications to and another patient (who wasn't my assigned patient) to assess so I could give some input on that patient in conference.
- I go back to Patient #2's room, assist the wound RN in undressing and redressing wounds. We find more wounds that we were expecting. I leave the patients room to go gather more wound care supplies, return to the room to finish what we started and get called out of the room via my vocera 20 minutes into our care: They are ready to start the conference.
- I leave the wound nurse to finish what she's doing and head to the conference with my notes in hand. It's 10:30.
- 30 minutes later I emerge from the conference on my 1st of 5 patients and call for the next nurse on the list to trade me places. Their turn to discuss their patient. I leave the room with notes in hand about all the requests the doctor made for me to follow up and the concerns brought up by the therapy staff and case manager. I set my notes face-down at the nurse's station and set out to patient #3's room.
Ugh. I'm tired already and it's only 11am on my recall of today's events. What transpired from 11 am to 1 pm was a cacophony of call lights, phone calls, vocera calls, medications scanned and given, following up on things not done yet that were noted on the original visit to patient's rooms, intermingled with 4 more interruptions to go to the conference room and discuss my patient with the team. By 1 pm the conferencing of our patients was over, I was hungry, and way behind on charting.
In nursing there's a saying: If it isn't charted, it didn't happen. Every assessment, every discussion (which is education), every intervention, every phone call to or from a doctor, every order, every vital sign, every medication, every treatment, every meal, every drink, every void, every stool, every transfer, every change in position...every interaction with a patient must be charted in the electronic medical record- or it didn't happen. I estimate it takes about 4 hours of accumulated time to chart throughout the day. Most of it is interrupted charting. Interrupted to care for patients. Which must be charted.
I took a lunch at about 2 pm with only my assessments charted. Half hour later I returned to work on my patient's discharge from the hospital. The case manger is usually the person who takes care of arranging the medical equipment, transportation, follow up appointments and facilities needed for a patient's discharge. But sometimes those things fall on the floor nurse. Today they fell on me. From 2 to 7 pm, when my patient finally discharged from the hospital, I was on the phone with various entities to work out complications in the discharge plans and needs so this patient could leave and go safely. Those 5 hours were interrupted with giving medications, addressing wounds and assisting with my other patients needs along with answering call lights and more phone calls.
At 7pm when the night shift showed up and I said goodbye to my patient who finally got to leave the hospital, I hadn't even begun documenting all that was required for me to chart from the shift. I gave report to the night shift nurses and then sat down to chart. An hour and 15 minutes later I was done. I had completed the required documentation... I think. (Did I mention that in a rehab unit there is an entire additional hour or so of charting that medicare requires from nurses to justify a patient's stay in rehab?)
8:15ish PM I clock out. Walk to my car. Drive home exhausted. And when I've said goodnight to my kids, showered and sat down to unwind before I go to bed, I feel my throbbing feet and recognize the questions still running through my mind, and I think, "What happened today??!"
If you're ever a patient in the hospital you should know your nurse is probably running her tale off. If you see her at the nurse's station on a computer, she's not sitting there doing nothing. She's trying to make sure what she really did today is documented so that if anyone goes looking, it happened. If you have a good nurse she won't mind if you ask her what medications you're taking or question what she's giving you. She'll be glad you are being an advocate for yourself and gladly tell you what you're taking and answer any questions you have. She'll listen to you and talk with you and make sure you're doing ok and then she'll have to go back to her computer and punch keys and scroll through doctor's notes to make sure she's recording what really happened and doing what really needs to be done that day to make sure you get better.
I would really like someone to invent a charting robot.
Quieted,
Sheila
God is not Dr. Crabby Pants
(Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son Ryland)
It started at 1:30 AM, Thursday. I can't do math in my sleep-deprived brain at this point, but in however many hours it's been since 1:30 AM Thursday, I've had a couple hours of sleep. My husband has had less. Not good.
My husband was called out to investigate a messy crime at 1:30 Thursday, that began the blur that has occurred since. My dear friend took my boys last night when I had to go to work and there was no husband home to pass the baton of parenting to. She took them trick or treating, fed them dinner, made them comfortable beds and got them to school this morning on top of her own three. There's a friend! Very thankful.
I ended a 12-hours-on-my-feet shift with a doctor yelling at me over the phone for calling him to get an order. This is an aspect of nursing I've never embraced until this morning when it hit me, "Everything you endure by faith in the good sovereignty of God is only being used for your good." It actually made me smile and shake off the desire to tell Dr. Crabby Pants unkind things. Being a nurse highlights the importance of authority and the difficulty of submitting to it, and as a Christian it illumines an opportunity to suffer for doing good and thereby grow in Christ-likeness.
I still scratch my head though. You're mad at me for calling you for an order only you can give regarding an issue that is for the patient's safety and good?! One runs into this not infrequently as a nurse.
What if the Great Physician was so unapproachable and easily irritated? What a terrible thought! I'm so glad my God, who possesses all authority, invites me to call on him and his authority day or night, time after time after time. He is not bothered by my need for His "orders". He wants me to "wake him up" in the middle of the night. Not that God sleeps or grows tired, but I love it that in the Psalms, and in the parables Jesus told, God seems to be saying, "I understand, that you may feel like I'm sleeping. That's ok. WAKE ME UP! APPROACH ME! INTERRUPT ME! BE RELENTLESS!"
Awake! Why are you sleeping, O Lord? Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever! - Psalm 44:23
And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. He said, "In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, 'Give me justice against my adversary.' For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, 'Though I neither fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.'" And the Lord said, "Hear what the unrighteous judge says. And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?" - Luke 18:1-8
I'm glad my God is happy. He's not frustrated and irritated. He's totally confident and kind and has all power and yet does not "lord it over" us, but bends down to lift us up. He actually listens with desire for us to know we are heard and known by Him and He is not bothered by us.
Thank you Father!
Quieted,
Sheila
I think one's feelings waste themselves in words; they ought all to be distilled into actions which bring results. - Florence Nightingale
(Florence Nightingale nurses)
I'm consistently inconsistent at writing here. I ran across this article the other day and felt like someone wrote an article about me. I really am an introverted person in the way this article describes introvertedness.
I don't know how else to get back in the writing groove I dream of being in except to start writing. But each day fills up and pretty soon its 9pm and quiet and I'm lucky if I can pen a sentence worth reading.
The long drives to and from work provide ample time to pray, talk to myself and boil over with all kinds of notes and thoughts I could write out, but by the time I get home (or to work) they are lost in the fog that is my brain.
When you assess a patient as a nurse, you're to do so from head to toe, systematically, so as to not miss anything important. Systematicness helps me a lot. But time pressures and the multiple to-do's alarming in my head while I'm in the middle of the system, throws me off. Most of my shift I feel like I'm running around tripping over the bunch of reminder strings tied to my fingers. I'm convinced I'm not cut out for hospital nursing, but it's good for me. For a year at least.
I'll be 40 in May of 2014 and I think I'm just now figuring out what I want to be when I grow up. Do they call this a mid-life crisis? I'm NOT going to have one! But I do think there's more of an awareness of what suits me and what I'm suited for looking back from 40. Nevertheless, sometimes you just have to do what needs to be done even if its not your "calling".
I enjoy the teaching of nursing and the tasks (blood draws, IV starts, etc.). I enjoy the people, immensely. I love helping them! But I am drained and frazzled by the time pressures, high risks, critical staff and doctors, and necessary multi-tasking. I'm not an adrenaline junkie. I wonder what this means about me. It definitely means any success I have right now as a hospital nurse is evidence of the grace God supplies me each minute of each shift. I wonder what kind of nursing would put me to best use. Whatever it is, I truly do look up to the Lady of the Lamp as a role model nurse. Christ has put a heart in me to serve others, to care for them, to do what's best. This governs my frazzled, easily-distracted and drained self every time I go to work. Florence was right, with Christ comes kindness to sick man, woman and child.
One of the things I like about working at this hospital is the diversity of the patient population. In the last 4 shifts I've worked I've cared for Syrian, Iraqi, Burmese, Thai, Swedish, Cuban and Hispanic moms, and more.
My mom used to sing hymns in the house. One of the hymns I grew up hearing is Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus. It, along with It Is Well With My Soul, Amazing Grace, Farther On, and many others come to mind frequently. This song by Francesca Battistelli takes from the original Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus hymn. I like it!
Quieted,
Sheila
Consistently inconsistent
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Playin' in the rain |
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Mud is fun! |
They said they were making a trap door for a bobcat :) |
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Look mom! I'm sinking! |
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Goof off |
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Beautiful |
Jack. Our new pet bearded dragon. |
I know, writers write. But, inconsistent bloggers, blog inconsistently. Especially when they start working night shift.
It's 1:25am on my day off and I'm trying to stay up so tomorrow I'll sleep late in preparation for staying up all night at the hospital.
The first two shifts were interesting. I remember why I didn't miss hospital nursing. I also recall what I love about caring for newborns and their mom's and families. It's not all Leave It To Beaver out there. In fact, I don't think there's a single Leave It To Beaver family having babies anymore. But it's great opportunity to teach, encourage, value life, and be a blessing.
I don't want to be a complainer. I want other people to leave working with me as a nurse feeling uplifted, and helped, not criticized and dumped on. It's a shame how many people come to work complaining about the work they have to do.
James has got most of the upstairs bathroom finished. Just needs drywall, paint and a shower door. Next project on the list is knocking out a wall separating the upstairs bedroom from the living room. That will create a larger living room and reduce the house from being a 4 bedroom to being a 3 bedroom.
I read this today in a daily Bible reading plan I'm working through:
But Sihon the king of Heshbon would not let us pass by him, for the LORD your God hardened his spirit and made his heart obstinate, that he might give him into your hand, as he is this day. - Dueteronomy 2:30 (emphasis added by me)
It caught me. God hardened him so that God could give him into his people's hand. God made it hard for his people, so that God could be the one who very obviously gave them victory over such hardness.
Hmmm. Something to think about next time I wish someone or something wasn't so hard.
Quieted,
Sheila
Moving, Day 3
I had quite the scare this evening at our new place.
When you're moving into a house with concrete floors and remodeling underway, things are covered in dust and debris and its hard to know what to do with your stuff. I mean, I don't want to move anything into a room where piles of concrete dust and tacking nails from carpet that had been pulled up and pieces of drywall are laying around everywhere. So I did my best to clean up- sweep, shop vac and pick up debris.
The glass shower doors from the downstairs shower were resting against the wall in the hall, so I picked one of them up to move it into the laundry room.
This is what it looked like when I picked it up:
This is what it looked like after it exploded in my hands before I even sat it down in the laundry room.
Considering that I was showered with glass, I felt protected and thankful that I walked away with a superficial laceration on my finger.
James got more done on the shower upstairs. A man is supposed to come with the cultured marble slabs on Friday to finish the job.
Almost all the work James has paid someone to help him with on this house- the septic install, garage door repair and automatic door opener install, and shower slabs- has come through Craigslist. Craigslist has turned out to be a pretty good resource for this move.
We have much more to do. It will get done, and we'll be tired.
I got my badge at today's orientation at the hospital. I was supposed to meet with the director of my department, but it turns out, there is no director currently in that department. Not sure what to think of that. The unit secretary who gave me my packet and said she would text me in a day or so with my schedule for next week, when I will actually shadow a nurse on night's shift, was very nice though.
I have a hard time not obsessing about work issues. When I'm not working as a nurse, I thoroughly enjoy the domestic business of being a homemaker and give myself to it gladly. But when I am working as a nurse, I find the hours, and sometimes days before and after keep my mind busy with thoughts. What ifs. Scenarios. Concerns. Anxieties. I'm fighting to keep those anxious thoughts running. Being busy with the stuff of moving helps. But most of all, I find myself casting all those cares on my Lord, because He cares for me. It's not good to be overwhelmed with anxious thoughts, but it is good to cast all those cares on the One who searches and knows my anxious thoughts already.
When you're moving into a house with concrete floors and remodeling underway, things are covered in dust and debris and its hard to know what to do with your stuff. I mean, I don't want to move anything into a room where piles of concrete dust and tacking nails from carpet that had been pulled up and pieces of drywall are laying around everywhere. So I did my best to clean up- sweep, shop vac and pick up debris.
The glass shower doors from the downstairs shower were resting against the wall in the hall, so I picked one of them up to move it into the laundry room.
This is what it looked like when I picked it up:
This is what it looked like after it exploded in my hands before I even sat it down in the laundry room.
Considering that I was showered with glass, I felt protected and thankful that I walked away with a superficial laceration on my finger.
James got more done on the shower upstairs. A man is supposed to come with the cultured marble slabs on Friday to finish the job.
Almost all the work James has paid someone to help him with on this house- the septic install, garage door repair and automatic door opener install, and shower slabs- has come through Craigslist. Craigslist has turned out to be a pretty good resource for this move.
We have much more to do. It will get done, and we'll be tired.
I got my badge at today's orientation at the hospital. I was supposed to meet with the director of my department, but it turns out, there is no director currently in that department. Not sure what to think of that. The unit secretary who gave me my packet and said she would text me in a day or so with my schedule for next week, when I will actually shadow a nurse on night's shift, was very nice though.
I have a hard time not obsessing about work issues. When I'm not working as a nurse, I thoroughly enjoy the domestic business of being a homemaker and give myself to it gladly. But when I am working as a nurse, I find the hours, and sometimes days before and after keep my mind busy with thoughts. What ifs. Scenarios. Concerns. Anxieties. I'm fighting to keep those anxious thoughts running. Being busy with the stuff of moving helps. But most of all, I find myself casting all those cares on my Lord, because He cares for me. It's not good to be overwhelmed with anxious thoughts, but it is good to cast all those cares on the One who searches and knows my anxious thoughts already.
Quieted,
Sheila
Moving. Day 2.
It's too late for a thought out and well-edited blog post. But before I hit the hay I wanted to share some interesting highlights of the day.
I was able to start orientation today with Abrazo Healthcare. The lady at HR called and apologized at 7:30 this morning and told me I was good to go. There were about 50 of us in a large room all day listening to 3 or 4 different talking heads. The most interesting speaker was the supply chain head. He had a dry sense of humor and made an otherwise boring topic actually thought provoking and funny. You don't realize how much stuff costs and how much waste goes on and how many hands the stuff has to pass through to get to the patient and how many people have to get paid to get it to the patient.
Twenty years ago there were 30 or more generic drug companies. Any guesses how many there are now? If you guessed a two digit number you're wrong. 3. There are 3 generic drug companies in existence today. 70% of the world's generic I.V. medications are made by one company.
In other interesting facts, Abrazo Healthcare does not hire people who use tobacco products because in Arizona, people who use tobacco products are not considered a protected class.
Additionally, according to the risk management presenter, if the airline industry performed as poorly in safety as hospitals do, there would be one 747 crash with hundreds of fatalities daily.
Also, because people like me may blog about work-related things, I signed an agreement to put a quote on my social media posts something to the effect that: The thoughts expressed here are my own and do not reflect that of Abrazo Healthcare. Since this blog is the only place I might posts thoughts about work, nursing or Abrazo, I'll add such a disclaimer somewhere on my sidebar.
We moved more things over to the Surprise house today. James worked on moving the pipes another inch or two so as to align with the drain hole in the shower base. He says this bathroom remodel is by far the hardest do-it-yourself project he's ever undertaken. There's a thick layer of drywall dust everywhere. The dumpster people didn't empty the dumpster today. With a full dumpster and more debris building up piles around every corner I think I'm going to have to make a haul to the dump myself soon.
My sister-in-law (I hate calling her that... she's my sister in Christ... she's my sister) sent me a very encouraging thought today. She was reading Genesis as she's taking notes of what God is speaking to her heart as she reads through the Bible and she noticed how first God spoke light, then formed things, then gave us dominion over them. She noticed it more as an order of the creation process rather than just as He made this day 1 and this day 2 and this day 3, etc. She shared it with me with this move in mind and how were sort of starting from scratch... no carpet, no showers, no laundry, etc. First, speak light into the situation. Next put things into formation. Last rule over it.
Her thoughts immediately brought to mind:
You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. - Matthew 5:14
(my view as I was leaving the Surprise house this evening)Things may seem "formless and void" right now, chaotic even, but Jesus is the Light of the World, and He is in me. And greater is He who is in me than he that is in the world.
Quieted,
Sheila
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