Yesterday being Mother's Day, me being a mom and a having a mom and knowing moms and women who long to be moms and/or grieve the loss of their children, it was a day full of thoughts turned prayers.
Yesterday also being the last Sunday in a series on marriage at my church, and me being married and knowing firsthand the unique kinds of trials marriage brings, it was a day of reflection turned worship.
About a week ago I read Psalm 27 and it grabbed me. I've been mulling it over ever since. One particular verse has me thinking about my one thing.
One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.
What's the one thing I am asking God for and seeking after? One thing. Mostly its been for my marriage. Or my kids. The two things yesterday hit on. When I read Psalm 27 I hear the writer exclaiming that in the midst of fearful troubles and rejections, his one thing was a triune request: To be in God's presence all his life, to see the beauty of God and to be able to talk with God and may requests of him. If I'm honest at first reading I feel like that's just out of reach. How can I say my one thing is all about God when my kids are struggling and I'm exhausted and my marriage is so troubled? How could the Psalmist say this when danger and fears and rejection by his own parents surrounded him?
As I listened yesterday to the preaching of the message that God has ransomed us from slavery to sin and idolatry, like Hosea ransomed Gomer, the mental image of the Son of God crying out, "I buy you back! I buy you with my own life!" while I was shamefully sold-out to sin flashed through my mind. I heard 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
And then Psalm 27 started making more sense. There's only one thing I really need in the midst of fears and suffering: Christ. If he didn't buy me back to God I would never be able to run to him as a refuge. I wouldn't be able be in his presence daily or see his endless beauty or talk with him and seek his answer.
In the midst of parenting trials and marriage troubles, where fears and the pain of betrayal and rejection and sins threaten to destroy, the one thing I need more than anything is Christ. And when I lift my eyes off this storm around me and believe the promise that he his with me, and dwell on the beauty of his glory, and seek his face and his counsel, everything is set right. The storm may rage, but with the psalmist I can say:
I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
I've been thinking a lot these last few months about what it means practically to take refuge in God. Refuge isn't a term we use often personally. On a political level we may think of refugees, and the place they go to flee the danger in their homeland as a place of refuge. But for the Christian, the idea of God being a refuge should be very real, personal and practical.
Christians are not at home with the ways of this world. We feel like foreigners here. We don't have the same desires we used to have. We once partied like the world, were greedy like the world, sought self above all like the world, and hid from the pain and brokenness in this life in various ways. Those ways were once our refuge. Before Christ shone on our hearts and broke our chains we hid from the suffering of death, betrayal, loss and pain in people, temporary pleasures, mind-altering substances, sleep, money, withdrawal, food... and many other various cotton-candy hiding places. In those days, we found that hiding in those places gave us an escape from one pain only to be bound by the chains of another. Since Christ has come into our lives, we know that only he can truly hide us in times of trouble. We fail many times, running back to old hiding places that can't shelter us from the storms of this life. But ultimately, it is Christ that we run to, because as our brother quick-fall-Peter said, who else is there to go to? Only Christ has the words of life.
But what does it look like to hide in Christ? What does it look like to run to God as refuge?
The Psalms are full of declarations that God is the psalmist's refuge. The psalmist runs to God when he's betrayed, when he's chased, when he's surrounded, when he's found in sin, when he's sick, when he's in pain, when he's depressed, he even runs to God for refuge when he feel like God has forgotten him. Why? And how?
There's definitely more than one blog post worth writing on this subject. Just taking the time to read through the Psalms and notice how often the writer calls on God as a refuge could be a devotional for a year. I want to focus on one particular Psalm and think about how we as Christians take refuge in God.
Psalm 57 has a small title under it in my Bible that says, "To the choirmaster: according to Do Not Destroy. A Miktam of David, when he fled from Saul, in the cave."
David wrote this psalm when he fled from Saul in a cave it says. Saul was the king of Israel God had told was no longer going to be king. He was loosing his mind and was murderously chasing David to kill him, knowing David was to be the king in his place. Now that's a situation to feel like one might need to find refuge somewhere. I've never had to flee physical danger, but like David, I know the feeling that my soul is "bowed down", or "in the midst of lions."
As I read through this Psalm I find three practical ways to run to God for refuge:
"Be merciful to me O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge. In the shadow of your wings I take refuge 'til the storms of destruction pass by." -Psalm 57:1
God is not a big, fluffy teddy bear to run to when you need to throw a tantrum. He's not a neutral zone where anyone can come and get away from trouble. He's almighty and holy. He's a righteous judge and knows the heart of every man. He's unable to be OK with sin in any amount or kind. He's perfect. He is to be feared. And anyone who might try to stand before him would find themselves toast without the means he has provided to cause none of that righteous anger against sin to be aimed at them. And that means is Christ. Christ is the propitiation (big, church word) for us who believe in him, that is, he takes all the condemnation aimed at us from God. To say it another way, Christ satisfies the need for God to destroy sin and sinner. If God were to ignore sin he would not be a good God or a just God. God's perfect justice demands the destruction of sin and the sinner. Otherwise the malignancy of sin (which we all see everyday in our broken world and in our own lives) would spread unchecked, and God would not be sovereign or good. But God is not only perfectly just he is also gloriously gracious and merciful. He is love. Therefore he humbled himself to be what we could not be and do what we could not do. That is mercy. And for the Christian, calling on God's mercy as displayed in Christ, is to call on the only power strong enough to shield our souls from the lies and traps and chains we so easily believe and turn to. We call on this mercy in our prayers every day. We call on this mercy when we face our failures once again. We call on this mercy when we feel the threat of fears that we were once controlled by. In calling on God's mercy we remind our souls to hope in the God who died for our sins so that we could be in friendship with him and no longer fear his judgement.
Remember God's Sovereignty
"I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me." - Psalm 57:2
Whatever we flee to for refuge must be more powerful than the situations we're fleeing from. Only God can be that. I don't claim to understand the workings of God's sovereignty or the whys. But I know that when I face the sting of death, or the fear of rejection, or the terror of an enemy, or the betrayal of a companion or any other hard and painful suffering, there is only One who can do anything about it. The Creator of the universe. It's in knowing that the very God I run to for refuge is the God who has designed this suffering in my life to purify my faith and make me more like Christ that I find a true place to hide. He may not take away the pain of this suffering, but he's the only one who can. And one day he will take it away. It may not be now. But it will be. In the mean time, I run to the One who rules over it and trust him to use it as a tool in my life for my good. He cares. He hears. He loves. And He will rescue. In remembering God's sovereignty I hide my soul from the lies that God is punishing or God has forgotten or God is helpless. He rules over what hurts me and he uses it to fulfill his good purposes for me.
Expect God's Faithfulness
"He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me. God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!" Psalm 57:3
Knowing God's faithfulness requires a history with God. If you don't have much of a history with him, look to the book of his-story, and look to his people both living and dead. The God of the Bible has a long history of unbroken promises and faithfulness to unfaithful people. As the psalms say so often, his faithfulness reaches to the skies! If I were to try to write out the zillions of ways God has shown he is faithful there wouldn't be enough atmosphere to contain the words! But when we find ourselves in the midst of the storms of destruction God's faithfulness comes into question in our minds. Has he forgotten us? Is he even there? Does he care? This is where the Bible points us to a cloud of witness who say: God is faithful! He will not abandon! Hebrews 11 is famous for being the hall of faith, calling to account the names and stories of the people of old who have lived by faith. But as you read through these stories and names it is not the faith of these people so much that encourages ours, but the faithfulness of the One they had faith in. Noah built an ark from faith, believing what God warned him. But it was God who saved Noah and his family from the storm of destruction that came on the whole world! Abraham ultimately believed God when his body was as good as dead despite his failed attempt to fulfill God's promise for him. But it was God who did the miracle of giving Abraham and Sarah Isaac despite their dying bodies. And I could go on and on to recount how God was faithful to Joseph even in the betrayal of his brothers and the lies that landed him in Pharaoh's prison. And how God did not forget his people in Egypt but prepared and sent Moses, hearing their cries for deliverance from slavery even though they were a stiff-necked people. And how God heard the humble confession of a prostitute in a wall of a city he was about to destroy and saved Rahab. Not to mention Ruth and Noami or Esther or Daniel or Paul or the many who have died as a result of their faith and who's deaths have been the seed through which a harvest of souls were faithfully rescued by God. I remember God's faithfulness as I read my Bible, look to the lives of Christians throughout history and in my life today and look back at my life as I've imperfectly walked with him. He is faithful! Remembering this is sure refuge for my tired soul.
I may not be able to see my soul like I see my body, but just as my body would run to a strong structure to hide from a destroying storm, my soul runs to God to hide from the destructions that threaten when I face pain, death, betrayal, temptations, my sin, weariness, anxiety and many other soul-storms. My soul runs when I open my mouth and call on his mercy, when I recall God's power over all things, and when I open my Bible and remember his faithfulness.
It's not that other days with a broken heart aren't painful. It's just that on Valentine's Day everywhere you look, go or listen pink shiny hearts and candy pour like salt on your wounds.
I've waded my way through the gushing pink day with my own busted up heart many times. This year I do it again. If Valentine's day feels like a mockery of your broken heart and a deceitful allure to try and find love in cheap thrills I offer these three rescuers:
1) The Lord whose heart was pierced right through is with you and me.
I don't know what broke your heart. Maybe it's the death of someone you love. Maybe it's the betrayal of a dear friend. Maybe it's a prodigal child. Maybe it's a divorce or a breakup. Maybe it's a daily hard keeping of your covenant. Maybe it's the rejection you've endured time and time again. Whatever pierced you through and is causing your physical body to hurt and reel from the wrongness of what has happened or is happening, Christ has felt it in his body too.
"But he was pierced for our transgressions;he was crushed for our iniquities;upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,and with his wounds we are healed." - Isaiah 53:5
Blessed are those who turn to our wounded Savior for healing. For us, he is enough. We don't look for healing in chocolates, or wine, or romantic cards, or a dozen perfect thorn-less roses. Jesus is enough for us. We hurt, but we know our hurt is not the end of the story. His brokenness has redeemed ours. Every weapon formed against us will fail. Every trap laid, every betrayal, every rejection will only be for our formation into the likeness of the One who saves us.
"no weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed,and you shall refute every tongue that rises against you in judgment.This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication from me, declares the Lord." -Isaiah 54:17
2) Only the Heart-Maker can be your heart-healer
The only one able to heal our broken hearts is the one whose heart was pierced for our transgressions. Our hearts may break because death has inflicted a crushing wound or because betrayal has stabbed and turned in the place where we loved, but Christ's death and his sin-bearing body swallowed the power of sin and death. Only Christ, the Word made flesh, the Image of the Invisible God, only he can heal what was meant for destruction. Only he has the power to bind up our wounded hearts and bring real healing.
"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound..." - Isaiah 61:1
Blessed are those who believe that Christ was not only wounded for our transgressions and has the power and the mission to bind up our broken hearts, but he is also the one who miraculously designed our brokenness that he might bring about our healing and the spreading of his glory in our lives. He breaks us and heals us to cause us to know him for who he really is- the One who lays down his life for us. There is a cycle of death and resurrection that spreads life in every way he works with his children. This is his design. This is his way.
Come, let us return to the Lord;for he has torn us, that he may heal us;he has struck us down, and he will bind us up.After two days he will revive us;on the third day he will raise us up,that we may live before him.Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord;his going out is sure as the dawn;he will come to us as the showers,as the spring rains that water the earth." - Hosea 6:1-3
3) Your broken heart poured out in love of Jesus is like priceless perfume spreading his aroma everywhere!
Your broken heart is not a waste! The pain you bear is not for nothing. Christ has borne our sin in his own body! He has made us one with him. He has joined us to God in peace and unbreakable covenant. When we pour out our bleeding heart on him and see our aching lives as his, for his use, for his purposes, for his glory, for an eternal harvest, our cracked up stories become a broken bottle of priceless perfume spreading the aroma of the worth of Christ to everyone in our lives. Not everyone will smell him as beautiful, but those who do will be drawn into knowing him too. As Ann Voskamp says, what some mistake for destruction is really growth. Our lives become a seed, planted and falling apart in this earth to spring up life-giving life. And Christ says that is a beautiful thing!
"And while he was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he was reclining at table, a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head. There were some who said to themselves indignantly, "Why was the ointment wasted like that? For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor." And they scolded her. But Jesus said, "Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me." - Mark 14:3-6
Blessed are the ones who see their lives in light of God's great story. Blessed are those who don't say, "YOLO!" you only live once, and suck as much life for themselves out of this broken place as they can, but rather they say, "YOLF!" you only live forever, and let their redeemed lives be planted in this world that others might live and know the worth of the One who has loved us to death!
Dear Beloved Brokenheart, you walk the path of ever lasting life. You walk hand in hand with the author of such a life. Let every expression of love you see today be a reminder to you that your life is not your own, you are Christ's, and He is yours, and because of him all your pain is for the spreading of the priceless aroma of the God who so loved the world that he gave his only Son.
This past Sunday I stood in a high school theatre with dozens of people I don't know looking up at the screen where the band was projecting the words to the songs we were singing to God:
You're never gonna let
Never gonna let me down
You're never gonna let
Never gonna let me down
When I get to church, the words of every song we sing confront me. And I hang on every word preached. I can't mindlessly sing the songs. I can't snooze through the sermon. I'm too desperate. I'm too thirsty.
So when the words to King of My Heart were on the screen Sunday, and I was singing with hot tears, "You are good." I really meant it. I really believe Jesus is God and He is good! But when the words "You're never gonna let, never gonna let me down," came on the screen I stopped singing. I stood there with heart exposed to the Holy Spirit's searching work and I knew I could not sing those words with honesty. Instead I uttered a prayer, "Father you know me. You know I can't sing that. I confess I feel like you have let me down. But I know you are good. Help me to know you for who you really are."
I think I have a pretty good understanding of the God of the Bible. I say that with much hesitation. What I know is a glimpse, a taste of an infinity of truth. I'll spend eternity never exhausting knowing God. But I have been very blessed to have been taught by some great Bible teachers and mentors in the faith. I've spent many hours chewing on the Bible. I believe the Jesus I have never seen but love as revealed in the scriptures is the one and only God-Man, the Christ. My creed is the creed Christ's historic and worldwide church has believed and proclaimed for thousands of years. So when I read words like the words written in the song we sang on Sunday I realize something is amiss. Either something's wrong with me and my understanding of the God of the Bible or something's wrong with those words cause I can think of 23 years of prayers unanswered that have left me feeling like God has let me down.
I'm not alone in my honest conflict with the words, "You're never gonna let me down."
Throughout the Bible God's people have had to come face to face with the incongruence of the Sovereign God they believe in and the circumstances in their life.
Job had to reconcile the horror he was living through with the God he proclaimed. He felt the sovereignty of God in his boils and said, "Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face." Job 13:15
Moses questioned God when he had obediently confronted Pharaoh and was mocked and blamed for making the people he was sent by God to free work harder. "Then Moses turned to the Lord and said, "O Lord, why have you done evil to this people? Why did you ever send me? For since I came to Pharaoh to speak in your name, he has done evil to this people, and you have not delivered your people at all." - Exodus 5:22
Noemi said it was God who had emptied her. "Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?" Ruth 1:20-21
Even John the Baptist, who had looked at Jesus and declared, "Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!" found himself in prison and sent messengers to Jesus to ask if was really the Messiah they were all waiting for.
Was I offended at Jesus in the words, “You’re never gonna let me down?” Was I offended that Jesus had let me down by not answering my prayer the way I wanted?
The word offended sounds like scandalized in the language Jesus spoke it. skandalizō.
Blessed is the one who isn't scandalized by me.
It means to be caused to stumble. To be caused to distrust the person you should trust.
Jesus is not a soft, yes man, who makes you feel good with positive affirmations. Jesus is the rock that many stumble over and are offended by. I stumbled over him on Sunday. And like Job, Moses, Noemi, David and John the Baptist I have a choice: leave him offended or let the mountain of truth that he is be to me a shadow in which to hide, a rock of refuge to which I flee.
Who Else Is There?
Peter and the other ragamuffin disciples of Christ tripped over him too. When Christ offered the saving truth that he had come to suffer and die broken, like bread, people were offended. Those who had thought Jesus was there to feed their appetites in the form of miraculous power couldn't accept the idea that he had come to give life to their perishing souls in the form of a wrath-bearing substitutionary atoning sacrifice. When Jesus saw the offended folks leave he asked his chosen ones, "Are you going to leave too?" Peter- I love Peter, quick to speak and quick to trip and quick to fall Peter- opened his mouth and said words I say to Jesus not infrequently, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of life. And we believe and have come to know that you are the Holy One of God"
Coming face to face with the reality of who Christ really is, is something we all must and will do. What we do with who he is is the test of who we really are.
The blessed, oh how happy ones, sorrowful yet always rejoicing, are the ones who look at his sovereignty in his willing brokenness and risen power and say with Job, "Though he slay me, I will hope in him." We feel let down, but we look up and we hope in him. We believe and have come to know he is the only one with the words of life. We know there is no where else to go. We see his scars. And we hear his risen promise to dwell in us and with us and we aren't offended. We love him. We want him. By his good grace we won’t leave him.
Tomorrow is the 44th anniversary of the famous Roe vs. Wade decision by the Supreme Court which put into motion the legal killing of unborn babies in the United States.
From that date to today over 59 million babies have been aborted in this country alone. To put that in perspective, about 6 million Jewish people were slaughtered by the Nazi regime during WWII. That means the killing of babies in the United States is 10 times that of the precious lives taken in the holocaust. I wonder if we'll ever look back on abortion in the United States with the same horror and shock as we do the holocaust. I wonder if we'll ever think, "How could we have done that!!??"
My Mom's Crisis Pregnancy
I was born the year after Roe vs. Wade was decided. I am my mom's first viable pregnancy. I was thinking about that today. My mom didn't have a crisis pregnancy as a teenager. She wasn't pregnant as the result of incest or rape. But she did have a pregnancy that threatened her life.
My mom's last pregnancy, I guess technically, would be considered an abortion. She had an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy that could have taken her life had the doctor not removed the ovary and fallopian tube where her newly developing baby was growing causing the rupture of her fallopian tube and emergency surgery. I'm sure the folks who defend a woman's right to abortion would site my mom's situation as one of the reasons abortion needs to be a legal, medical procedure in the United States. I guess people will spin things the way that serves them best. The doctor did not perform an abortion to save my mother's life. He saved my mother's life by stoping the hemorrhage from a ruptured fallopian tube. The life that was growing in that dying place died as a result of that place being incompatible with human life. She grieved the loss of that life and three others who died before they could breathe outside her womb.
I've been thinking today about the fact that neither my mom, nor I have any idea what it feels like to be in a crisis pregnancy, but in thinking it through I've decided we both knew crisis in our pregnancies. My mom was pregnant for the first 7 years of her marriage and married to a mill worker who provided a home, food on the table, and a car to drive, but it wasn't fancy. Someone else in my mom's shoes may have felt she couldn't handle another pregnancy. It would cost too much. It could effect her health. It was emotionally distressing. I'm sure my mom felt overwhelmed. And each pregnancy did damage my mom's body and caused financial strain. She suffers this day from horrible varicose veins that were tremendously worsened by her 3 vaginal births and 7 pregnancies. My mom struggled with hormonal changes, depression and emotional distress due to having babies. And there were times I remember that she came home with a cardboard box of government issued cheese, rice, beans and canned foods because my dad was laid off work and her small hairdressing, babysitting, housecleaning and flower arranging jobs were not enough to feed a family of five.
I'm so thankful for a mom who gave of herself for my sake and the sake of my brother and sister and the 4 in heaven.
My Crisis Pregnancy
I wanted desperately to be pregnant 10 years into my marriage and was told I wouldn't conceive without medical intervention. My strained marriage didn't need a baby to support and so my husband was actually relieved to hear he wouldn't need to worry about that. But God heard my cries at 29 and I conceived Connor. My husband wasn't happy. I felt the weight of burden increase when Connor was born. My broken marriage was barely holding together and now we had a child to raise. My body didn't quite know what to do with itself in the months after Connor was born and at one point I was so sick the doctors thought I had Hodgkins lymphoma. But by the time Connor was a year old my body was starting to recover and I found out I was pregnant again. I'm sure that would be the point at which some might say I was in a crisis pregnancy. Maybe. I'd say it was 6 months later when my husband left me.
I was seven months pregnant. 28 weeks. Barely viable. I'm sure for some that would have been the crisis that led them to a Planned Parenthood where they would have been directed to make an appointment to terminate a 28 week pregnancy. Instead I was in a hospital getting turbutaline shots and Magnesium Sulfate to stop my preterm labor probably caused by the stress of my family falling apart. Ryland was my crisis pregnancy, but the crisis never led me to think I needed to end his life, rather it led me to call on the One who was knitting that life together in my womb.
My crisis pregnancy was where I walked with God like I never had before.
Hope and The Gospel of Christ
As I've been thinking about abortion in the United States today I've thought about how I can't identify with the women who are choosing this. But I want to.
I think my lack of feeling a connection with women who choose abortion comes down to hope. I have hope. I had hope. I knew who I was and Whose I was and so when crisis came when I was pregnant, and when crisis came when my mom was pregnant, we depended on the promise of God- that we are his children, that he would never leave us or forsake us and that he would work all things for our good.
And it's not just hope that is different in my case, it's the gospel. I knew the gospel of Christ when my crisis pregnancy came and I clung to it! Christ died to give us life. I believe that. And I believe that is the life we are made to live- a dying-to-self life. A mom's life is a bearing of stretch marks, weight gain, postpartum depression, grief and pain from babies who've died in our wombs and wombs that have died too. It's a bearing of varicose veins, hormonally induced hair loss, emotional instability, painful periods, financial strain, relational strife and a thousand other ways moms die daily to take up our cross and follow Jesus as we love our children more than ourselves.
The women who choose abortion have no hope outside what they can do for themselves and they don't see their life in Christ so that they know if they cling to their life (even at the expense of the life growing inside them) they'll loose it, but if they loose their life in a thousand ways everyday for Christ's sake for the baby that is being knit together in their wombs, they'll live!
Abortion is a Symptom
The thousands of abortions performed in the United States today weren't medically necessary abortions because a woman is hemorrhaging and a ruptured fallopian tube needed to be removed to save her life. The blood of our babies cries out because of our self-centered darkness. We kill our babies when we were made to die and suffer for them. Every life that ever lived was born by a woman. We were made to give birth to life though it rips us apart. We were made to be fed off of and give and give and give of ourselves that another might live and live and live. We were made this way because we were made in the image of God. Abortion is a symptom of the denial of that purpose. Without the conviction that were are image of God bearers we can create any sort of reality that suits us. But the truth is the truth. If we cling to our lives we'll loose it. If we keep killing our babies to save our lives it will destroy us. But if we loose our lives in the image of the One who made us, we will live. Even though we die daily.
Moms are The Giving Tree
Have you read the book The Giving Tree? You probably have. It's iconic. But if you haven't you should. The Giving Tree testifies to the fact that we know it noble and right to give of yourself even if it costs you your life. We know this enough to write a timeless children's book about it. Moms are the Giving Tree in the flesh! We are made to give life not take it. Even it when it takes life from us. Its beautiful. Its Christ-like. It honors the One who died on a tree to give us life!
I don't know exactly what I'm going to do now. But after thinking about this all day I know I want to be more conscious of the high calling I have as a mom to the 13 and 12 year old sons I'm still bearing. And I want to be part of stopping the women who are stumbling to the slaughter, blindly going against the Christ-like nature they were created to display.
The man called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living. -Genesis 3:13
For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. -1 Peter 2:21-24
Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God. -Psalm 69:1-3
Psalm 69 is not exactly a common Bible verse quoted at Christmas. But I think it's perfect for Advent. At least it's where I'm at right now. Maybe you are too.
For lots of people, Christmas is not all joy and jolly. For many it's a very painful reminder that they long for things to be right and happy and light, but in reality they find themselves in a place where things are wrong and sorrowful and dark. If you find yourself in a place like that today, I pray this will encourage you as it has me.
I counted 11 times in my version of Psalm 69 where the writer asks God to save him in various ways.
Save me O God! For the waters have come up to my neck... (vs.1) ...answer me in your saving faithfulness. (vs. 13) Deliver me from sinking in the mire... (vs.14) ...let me be delivered from my enemies. (vs.14) Let not the flood sweep over me... (vs. 15) Answer me, O LORD... (vs. 16) Hide not your face from your servant... (vs. 17) Draw near to my soul... (vs. 18) Redeem me... (vs. 18) Ransom me because of my enemies.... (vs. 18) ...let your salvation, O God, set me on high. (vs. 29)
Obviously the person writing this was in some sort of circumstance that made him feel desperate for God to show up and do something! And apparently these circumstances had been there for awhile and the writer wasn't seeing God show up because he writes:
I sink in deep mire,
where there is no foothold;
I have come into deep waters,
and the flood sweeps over me.
I am weary with my crying out;
my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim
with waiting for my God. (vs.2-3)
He's sinking. There's nothing to stand on. He can't keep himself up. He's overpowered by his circumstances. And it's not short lived so he's weary. His faith-eyes are barely able to see any kind of hope because he's been waiting so long for God to show up and do something about this overwhelmingly difficult, long season.
There's a lot here. The psalm describes the writers desperateness for God to do something about his circumstances. He's specific about the circumstances- overwhelming numbers of enemies, lies, reproaches, shame, accusations. He even says that even though he knows he's not guiltless- God knows the wrongs he's done- he knows these circumstances aren't because he did anything wrong. "For it is for your sake that I have borne reproach..." He's in these overwhelming circumstances because he is a God-representative. He's in this despairing situation because of his identification with God.
At that point you may say, "Well, I'm out. I'm in the situation I'm in that I wish God would show up for and do something about because of my own mistakes." That might be true to some extent. Like this Psalmist, none of us are free from the guilt of folly and wrongs that God knows about and may even be in part cause of our current suffering. I too am in a long-lasting difficulty that is in part due to my own sins. But in 1 Peter, Peter says something that always gives me hope and encouragement:
"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed." (1 Peter 4:12-13)
I know that the only person who can claim perfect sinless suffering for God's name's sake is Christ. But, we who bear his name and love him and seek and him hate our sin and, like the psalmist in Psalm 69 acknowledge our sins before God, we have an "insofar as" sharing in this suffering that Christ perfectly endured. And we need to see that and believe that, because that's where we will find the deliverance and redemption we long for from God.
The psalmist who wrote this was weary with waiting for God to come do something to deliver him out of these horrible circumstances. You might be too. I know I am. And that's ok. It's ok to long for God to do something to keep you from being swallowed up by the anger, bitterness, hopelessness and guilt that your circumstances threaten to bring. What I find amazing in this psalm is that the writers very cry to God to save him and answer him and deliver him and draw near to him and redeem him and ransom him and set him on a high place, is exactly where he finds God giving him hope and a song and a word of encouragement for other fellow long-sufferers.
He doesn't find that his faith-dim eyes suddenly see because God comes in and changes his circumstances. He finds that in his crying out to God, God is there with him, strengthening him to endure.
By verse 30 of the psalm the writer turns from crying out in desperation and vulnerable confession to praising God with his words.
I wil praise the name of God with a song;
I will magnify him with thanksgiving...
When the humble see it they will be glad;
you who seek God, let your hearts revive.
For the LORD hears the needy
and does not despise his own people who are prisoners.
Let heaven and earth praise him,
the seas and everything that moves in them.
For God will save Zion
And build up the cities of Judah,
and people shall dwell there and possess it;
the offspring of his servants shall inherit it,
and those who love his name shall dwell in it. (vs.30-36)
This is what we, who are waiting for God this Advent, need to do: SING and GIVE THANKS!
SING
I can't even tell how many times the simple act of opening my mouth and letting my soul sing, even while the tears flow, has caused me to find God is there. He's there as I sing reviving my heart and reminding me of his promise: He will conform me to the image of his Son (Romans 8:29) He will make all things new (Rev. 21:5). He will not reject me or leave me (Hebrews 13:5). He will judge rightly all that happens to me (1 Peter 2:23).
Don't know what to sing? Don't have a great voice? Here's a couple of my favorites to sing when I'm overwhelmed with my circumstances and sadness:
GIVE THANKS
This is harder for me. Singing seems to come out of me (with the assistance of YouTube or iTunes) more easily, and lifts me almost instantly into hope. But the psalmist says he will magnify God with thanksgiving after telling him how dim his eyes had grown waiting for God to show up.
When the flood of hopeless thoughts, accusations and heartaches barrages you and threatens to take your faith down, you need to open your mouth Sheila and speak out loud what you are thankful for, or write it if you can't talk! It will be a gasp of oxygen to your soul and some light for your dim eyes!
It's Christmas. Everyone is decorating trees and you may feel like the world should be painted grey not red and green and glitter right now. But what if you took out a piece of paper and started writing what you're thankful for and put it on a tree, or on a wall and decorated your hard, painful, weary-with-waiting-for-God Christmas with words of thanks to God.
Don't know where to start Sheila? How about the fact that you have access to God's words that pulled you out of a sinking pit this morning? How about the fact that you've been provided food and clothing and comfort and song and family and... the pieces of paper should cover the tree, or the wall.
Join me today in pouring out desperate cries for God to show up, singing songs of worship and longing and faith, and writing or speaking words of thanks to God that make you and I remember how big and good he is.
I think it was five years ago now that I started doing a Jesse Tree with my sons. Each year we've done it a little differently. This year I gathered some branches my goats had stripped bare of all leaves, stuck them in a large vase and put some lights on them. In years past we've pulled an ornament out for each day and placed them on the tree after that day's reading. But this year I decided to put all the ornaments on the tree from the start and focus more on the reading for each day. Up until this year we've used Ann Voskamp's Jesse Tree readings. But this year, I decided to the family readings from the Reformed Church of America website. They're short and to the point (which my highly distracted 11 and 9 year need right now) and they set our minds each day on the hope of Christmas.
The Jesse Tree comes from reference to, "the Root of Jesse" in Isaiah 11.
There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit.
And the Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD.
And his delight shall be in the fear of the LORD. He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide disputes by what his ears hear,
but with righteousness he shall judge the poor, and decide with equity for the meek of the earth; and he shall strike the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips he shall kill the wicked.
Righteousness shall be the belt of his waist, and faithfulness the belt of his loins. Isaiah 11:1-5
One of the reasons I love doing a Jesse Tree at Christmas with it's dead branches as opposed to the pretty green fir tree is because it reminds me that my God is the God who makes promises. And keeps them. When I look back over history through the Jesse Tree readings I see that for thousands of year God has been showing himself faithful. He will do what he says he will do. And so it causes me to look forward to the promise of His return.
And all those dead branches remind me that that's me, without Him. And that He did the miracle. He has born me again to a living hope. Out of my deadness He has caused life to come. Just as out of as-good-as-dead Abraham and Sarah, Isaac was born. And just as out of dead Israel, Christ was born. In my deadness God has birthed new life in me. His Holy Spirit is my deposit, guaranteeing one day, I will be completely new and alive with eternal life.
This is my God. He makes promises. He doesn't lie. He keeps them, no matter how long has gone by and no matter how impossible things may seem. He will do it.
But may all who search for you be filled with joy and gladness in you. May those who love your salvation repeatedly shout, "God is great!" But as for me, I am poor and needy; please hurry to my aide, O God. You are my helper and my savior; O LORD, do not delay. Psalm 70:4-5
This is a deep ache in me. It's a whiff of something wonderful my spiritual nose has smelled. I want my life to make God's beauty and goodness be clearly seen. Not that I try to doll God up and make Him beautiful, but that my life will act like a magnifying glass, bringing into greatness and clear focus that which may seem far off or hard to understand to those around me. I want my God to see an Imago Dei one again in me.
Once I was broken and I distorted the truth about my good God. And He looked twisted and convoluted and crooked and wrong to people. But then Christ came. Christ, THE Image of the invisible God. He did not distort the truth about God at all. Perfectly clear. Perfectly accurate. God in the flesh. He took all my brokenness to the grave and rose so he could work in me 2000 years later to make me a new creation, conformed to the image of the Son.
Do I want others to see the truth about God in me? Then I'll let the Potter mold me to be like His Son. Because the Son is how God wants to be seen. The Son is the truth about His goodness and the exactness of His beauty.
Oh let the Son be seen in me! Oh that people would see Christ in me and see a glimpse of the truth of how beautiful You are and how over-the-top is Your love for us, that you would not discard us but give us a Way to be made new.
Nothing is more beautiful than to be made like the Son! Nothing is more wonderful! Oh for the day when You are clearly seen as good. No more lies about You. No more creating entire systems and theories and lifestyles just to avoid You. No more hiding from You. No more denying You. No more being uncomfortable at the mention of Your name. No more feeling like you are some stuffy, religious old-man in the sky. No more feeling like you are a nameless, faceless, force of destruction. No more imagining you to be a great magic genie. No more abuse in your name. No more! Oh for the day when You make all things new. Even now, come, and make me new. This side of the reckoning make me a reflector of Your goodness, of Your glory!
But help me Lord! I want all this from the safety of my living room and laptop. But out there I fear man's looks too easily. Out there I suddenly don't know what to say. Out there I get to easily caught up with the day to day stuff and forget I'm YOURS! I am poor and needy! Please hurry to my aid, O God! You are my helper and my savior! Don't delay O Lord!
These revived me this week.
Watch how Gianna says, "... but I know in the age we live in, it is not at all politically correct to say the name of Jesus Christ in places like this; to bring him into these sorts of meetings because his name can make people so terribly uncomfortable. {Purposeful pause} Well I didn't survive so I could make everyone comfortable. I survived so I could stir things up a bit."
I want that kind of humble, happy, confident boldness.
Listen to the words. These grab me: Mighty God how I fear You and how I long to be near You...
I'm beyond tired. The Music Man and I were up with Ryland from 2:30 am on. He woke up with a stridor, which is a very scary sound! We took him out into the cool air and he was able to breathe much easier. It's croup. Croup = No fun, sleepless nights and prednisone wired days. Booo.
So I'm off to bed early tonight, so is the croupy boy.
Yesterday at church we sang a line: The earth is filed with His glory.
Glory is a word and half. It holds a lot of weight. It is a lot of weight. It comes from a word that means heaviness. It's substance. It's evidence. It's presence. It's what represents. It's what makes one revered, honored, great, majestic.
(I didn't make it to completing this post last night. So continuing this morning...)
When I sang, "the earth is filled with His glory," a theme filled my heart. What is the earth full of that is the heaviness of God? What is the earth filled with that makes God revered, honored, great, majestic? I turned away from the screen filled with words and looked at the Imago Dei ones standing all around me. I thought of everyday I drive to and fro, and yes, the creation, yes, the eternal blue sky, and the pillars of clouds (God's water storage that looks like a dream), yes, the blazing sunrise and the purple hewed mountains, but even more all those busy people, moving in cars from here to there, bearing the image of God broken by sin. There's His weightiest heaviness. There in those blue eyed and brown eyed and fair skinned and dark skinned and male and female and tall and short and heavy and thin and variously gifted, there lies the greatest evidence of God's majesty.
The earth is filled with people God made in his image. And oh how very fallen we are! The greatest evidence of God's glory has become the greatest perversion of God's glory. And we are twisted and broken and perverse and no longer reflect His image. And He knows this and has given us a sure and great hope. The Image of God Restorer. Christ in us, the hope of glory. The very Image of God Himself, taking on our brokenness, dying our destined death, satisfying God's right to reject everyone he created- we perverts of His image- and rising as proof and promise: He will raise all the Christ-hoping ones too.
I don't know how to put words to this theme really. I lack the ability to grab hold. But when I sing, "The earth is filled with His glory." I drink living waters. And I realize how very treasured every soul I see is. Worth the only One who ever was full of His glory dying for. And I want to treat each one with the honor He deserves. And I want to work out my own amazing salvation with fear and trembling. Christ in me, the hope of glory.
Some days are easier than others. Some days are harder than others. None of the circumstances really change that much, but the feelings sure do.
So what do you do when those old aching wounds throb and you feel alone, like no one understands?
There are sure chains that masquerade as quick escape hatches from such suffocating feelings. Some of those decieving chains come in a bottle. Some in a wrapper. Some on the T.V. Some in another's spring.
David felt the desire to escape too. Here's what he did:
For it is not an enemy who taunts me-- then I could bear it; it is not
an adversary who deals insolently with me-- then I could hide from him.
But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend... But I call to God, and the LORD will save me.
Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he hears my voice.- Psalm 55:12-13, 16-17
He complained to God. He moaned to God. He called to the only One who can save you out of the pit.
I moaned Habakkuk's moan to Him today:
Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the
produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut
off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he
makes me tread on my high places. To the choirmaster: with stringed instruments. -Habakkuk 3:17-19
Even if there were no seeming fruit from the Lord in my life. Even when everything seems a loss. Even still, my God is good. And I will take joy in Him.
I remember once seeing a woman who had suffered a terrible tragedy at a church I was part of. I think of her still. I remember hearing the day before that she had lost her daughter and grand-daughter in a terrible accident. And the next day, there she was, in the midst of us messed up church people, raising her hands in surrender as tears poured down her facing, singing, "Blessed be the name of the Lord... You give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will chose to say. Lord blessed be Your Name."
Her hope in the only One who can save us out of this mess of sin and falleness still encourages me. Even today.
I wasn't trying to be defiant or difficult. I knew the answer and I believe the answer, I just, I don't know, the cracking dam that wasn't holding back my tears very well this morning was going to totally give way any moment and I had to answer the way Paul did:
The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ
Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. - 1 Timothy1:15
I believe that Christ has made me righteous. By faith, I am no longer a sinner. I am a saint. And I say that with much trembling and feel as though I should say it while on my face. It is the truth that gives me such hope... that Christ has done it all to make me right. Righteous. Yet, I still live in this decaying flesh and am weighed down by the gravity of this fallen world, and out of me still comes the falling short and missing the mark which should result in my judgment, but by the amazing grace of my Savior, I have freely received His perfect goodness and abundant life. He paid the costly price to put to death all my sin in Himself so that I could live. I have not earned this. I still fall oh so short. More than I fall short of jumping to the moon.
Some of my sin I can frankly see and agree with Him about, and know He will graciously wash away. I look to His light to expose my way and lead me. I feed on His faithfulness and goodness and truth. I trust that He never ceases to intercede for me. And even still there are some depraved ways in me that I never knew were there 10 years ago. Some twisted ways I don't have any idea about are yet to be exposed.
Today, when I was cleaning my car I stuck the skinny tipped vacuum attachment in a crevice between my seat and the middle console. There was no way I could see in there, no matter how light it was outside or what kind of contorted position I put myself in to try and visualize where I should put the vacuum hose. So I just shoved the hose in there as far as I could, moved it around, and out came a fork, a band aid, and a piece of old, dried up something that used to be edible.
I have fallen for the lie that because I can't see the junk in hidden places in me and seem to be pretty cleaned up that I'm... righteous. By the grace of God, He's sucked the junk out into the light and shown me that I have no right to call myself righteous based on what I see or know. When I answer the loaded question, "Are you a sinner?" I am scared silly to say, "No!" Even though I know I am no longer a sinner but a saint. I don't want to give my enemy the open door to tripping me up with self-righteousness ever again. I know that's not the reason behind the answer, "No," my pastor (who I look to as a loving dad in the Lord) was looking for. I just need to keep at the very forefront of my mind an answer that will stave off any notions of earned holiness. I think I shall practicing saying:
"No, by the work of Christ alone, No! I am not a sinner. By Christ alone."
Many forces were at work in me this morning: fatigue, the catharsis of writing a novel based out of some of my own experiences in life, the search for the heritage of grace and mercy that weaves itself through history that I'm finding glimpses of in the women's Bible study, the long obedience in the same direction I'm walking daily in for the past 22 years, years of longings unfulfilled. Many waters. Deep calling to deep only expressed in waves of salty tears.
I think I will ask the ladies at our next study to write a doxology with me. A doxology in response to the truth about God we will have learned thus far thru Tamar, Rahab, Ruth and Bathsheba. They don't have to read it or share it at all if they don't want to. But an exercise in putting to words the truth we've been changed by, intimately and individually, would be really good.
In the district I work, nurses have to work late on the Thursday of parent/teacher conference night. So last night I was there until eight, hence no blog post.
You never know what can happen in a day. Your house could catch fire. Your grandchild could drown in your pool while you're watching T.V. You could have a stroke. You could get hit by a car while riding your bike on the way to school. I'm not just being a doomsayer here. Between yesterday afternoon and this morning I found out all of these things happened to people I know. My heart aches for the people involved in all of these situations. People to pray for.
It's the beginning of fall break for me and the boys. They get one week, I get two. Tomorrow is baseball. Sunday I'm really looking forward to. And then a week of... He knows. And I trust Him with it. I know not what can happen in a day. I do know the One who will use all that happens in my days to mold me more and more into the image of His Son. So be it!
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a
town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"--yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you
are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.- James 4:13-14
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the
image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many
brothers.- Romans 8:28-29
Connor's teacher wrote a few things about him that made me glad despite his struggling grades. She wrote that he asks good questions and that he accepts responsibility and learns from his mistakes. Those two statements hold a lot more credit than A's in my book!
My two boys are the odd couple for sure. One is always moving, one I am always trying to get moving. One is very academic, a good puzzle solver...a thinker. The other will chase any fast moving object, be quick to hurry through eating or any assignment so he can go chase a fast moving object. One could easily excel in school. The other will probably always struggle in school.
I obviously want my kids to get good grades, but I don't place the emphasis of my approval on the grade. I do place it on their willingness to work hard, listen and learn and take responsibility for their choices. To hear Connor's teacher point out these characteristics in him thrilled me, despite my concern for his grades. I know as long as he keeps asking good questions and is willing to learn from his mistakes, take responsibility and work hard, he'll do just fine.
Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored.- Proverbs 13:18
"...but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings... If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you." -1 Peter 3:13,14
Crying out tonight wanting to be genuine in my faith and praying that my sons will be too. Praying for their deliverance. Praying for one I'm hurt very much by. Crying more. Longing. Grieving.
I open up to Isaiah 53:
Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise Him; He has put Him to grief. When You make His soul an offering for sin, He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in His hand. He shall see the labor of His soul and be satisfied... (Isaiah 53:10-11a)
This is HIS grief I am getting to partake of to a certain extent. This isn't mine. He is not distant and uncaring, leaving me to wait this grief out. This isn't my grief, this is HIS! He already bore it to the full! I am only partaking of it to a very small extent. And my hope is great because this is HIS grief. His grief passed and He saw (sees) the labor of His soul satisfied! I too will see the labor of HIS soul and be satisfied! Because this is HIS, not mine. Oh Jesus, thank YOU!
If you're grieving tonight because someone looks down on you for your adoration of Jesus, someone you love, someone you don't want to loose... your grief is not your own. It's Jesus' grief. He bore it all and He sees the result of that pain and is satisfied. Some soul is won. Your heart is more bound to His. Pleasures that prosper in the nail-torn hands of Christ are the result of the grief He bore. The grief you and I get to partake of to a certain extent.
But even if you grieve tonight for some other reason. Maybe it's not because someone you love rejects you because of Christ. Maybe you grieve because you're tired, and the day to day, wear and tear of life has you weeping. Maybe you grieve because your child is choosing a way that is destructive. Maybe you grieve because your parent has never been there for you. Or because your spouse walked out on you. Sin destroys and leaves us all grieving. But let us remember that Jesus bore the grief we bear!
"Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows..." -Isaiah 53:4
Don't believe the LIE that God is distantly looking upon you, not knowing how you feel. HE KNOWS!!! In fact He bore the very grief that crushes you now! He is not just an all knowing God who understands how you feel. What grieves you He bore! Even the very sinful choices we've made which have affected our lives in such a way as to leave us grieving, HE bore!
A mist of His tears rolls down your cheek. The entirety of your tears rolled down His. A hint of His pain grips your heart. The full crushing weight of your pain exploded HIS! If you grieve tonight you grieve a dot of what He bore, because He bore ALL of humanities grief and sorrow while we, "...we hid, as it were, our faces from Him..."
I've turned my back on the enormity of His grief and pain, but He has not turned away from me! I am the one who doesn't understand. He understands. He knows. And when I grieve let it drive me to looking and not hiding my face from Him.
I'm in an intense time of testing right now. And the struggle to survive this test is really a struggle to continue believing God, trusting and worshipping my Savior... knowing I'm not alone.
I was reading through Genesis 16-17, concerning God's promise to Abraham and Sarah and their attempt to make His promise come true in a way they could understand (giving Hagar to Abraham to produce Ishmael). I asked the Lord, "What do you want me to do after reading this?" No flashes of lighting, no tangible thing to do, just, "Be patient. Believe my promises will come to pass even if you don't see it."
"Okay. But what is your promise to me Lord?" I questioned.
Hebrews 13:5: I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
Many years ago someone told me that "forsake" is a compound of three words in the Greek, "leave behind in." It conveys the thought of leaving comrades exposed to peril in the conflict, or forsaking them in some crisis of danger. Westcott interprets this verse, "I will in no wise desert you or leave you alone in the field of contest, or in a position of suffering; I will in no wise let go- loose hold- My sustaining grasp."
This promise cannot fail. Let us stand upon it, and rejoice in it...
So there's my promise: Jesus will never leave me behind in this time of testing!
I was so excited to receive this for sure answer to my question that I went and looked up Hebrews 13:5 in the Strong's at Blue Letter Bible and found it really is true. Forsake means:
abandon, desert
a) leave in straits, leave helpless
b) totally abandoned, utterly forsaken
2) to leave behind among, to leave surviving
Jesus will not leave us who have put our trust in Him. He won't abandon or desert us. He won't leave us in the straits we got ourselves in, or find ourselves in. He won't leave us helpless. He won't leave us behind among the cares, fears, accusations, and depravity of this world. He doesn't say He'll take us out of them, but He won't leave us to survive it alone! Oh HOPE! Fresh air! Light! Thank You Jesus!
And not only that but the word leave in that verse holds to me an even more dear meaning:
1) to send back, relax, loosen
2) to give up, omit, calm
3) to leave, not to uphold, to let sink
Our Living Lord (though unseen by us- yet aren't we blessed that we hold on believing having never seen) will not only not leave us in the trials of life to survive, He also won't send us back or give up on us when we fail. Like Peter, He won't let us sink when we take our eyes off of Him and find ourselves sinking in the sea of the difficulty. We may begin to sink, but he will not let us sink. All we must do is cry out, "Save me Lord!"
Oh this is a promise we can all stand on! It is my promise! Though like Abraham I may find myself waiting to see it come to pass. It will! He has promised, so whether I see or not, I can say, "The Lord is not going to send me back though I've failed. He is not going to let me sink, though I feel like I'm going to drown. He is with me though I don't see Him. He hasn't left me to endure this trial alone, to survive the best I can. He walks with me through this dark valley. I will believe though I do not see!"
"Then some came and told Jehoshaphat, saying, 'A great multitude is coming against you...'"
"And Jehoshaphat feared, and set himself to seek the LORD..."
"Then Jehoshaphat stood...and said, ' O LORD God of our fathers, are You not God in heaven, and do You not rule over all the kingdoms of the nations, and in Your hand is there not power and might, so that no one is able to withstand You?"
"For we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You."
"And when he had consulted with the people, he appointed those who should sing to the LORD, and who should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army and were saying:
Praise the LORD, for His mercy endures forever."
"Now when they began to sing and to praise, the LORD set ambushes against the people... who had come against Judah, and they were defeated."
From 2 Chronicles 20
Now's my chance. Now's my chance like Jehoshaphat to praise God BEFORE I see what to do or how to do it or how God's gonna work in this situation in my life which appears like a great multitude against me; a multitude against whom I have no power.
Now's my Jehoshaphat moment. It's beyond me. It's too much for me. I can't stand. But I can proclaim praises. I can physically open my mouth and say, "Praise the LORD for His mercy endures forever!" I can say, "I don't know what to do, but my eyes are on You Lord!" I can say, "You are God... no one is able to withstand YOU!" I can declare, "You will work this situation together for my good as one who loves You (not that my love is anything but a response to Your love for me), and is called according to Your purpose to conform me to the image of Your Son."
So that's what I'm doing.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not brave and strong. I'm afraid, like Jehoshaphat. I'm broken. I'm overwhelmed with what is against me. I'm trembling. But now's my chance to let my Mountain-Moving Savior be seen. He wouldn't be seen if there were no mountains. He wouldn't be my Deliverer if there were no terrible, drowning waves to rescue me from.
So here's what I'm going to sing... wanna join me?
Everyone needs compassion, Love that's never failing; Let mercy fall on me.
Everyone needs forgiveness, The kindness of a Saviour; The Hope of nations.
Saviour, He can move the mountains, My God is Mighty to save, He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave.
So take me as You find me, All my fears and failures, Fill my life again.
I give my life to follow Everything I believe in, Now I surrender.
My Saviour, He can move the mountains, My God is Mighty to save, He is Mighty to save. Forever, Author of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave.
Shine your light and let the whole world see, We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus
Hi friends. Just wanted to let you all know real quick that I still won't be able to get online for a few weeks more. But I wanted to share this song that has been the lyrics of my heart these past few weeks.
Christ Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever!
