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Showing posts from February, 2013

of a rockhound and 4th grader under pressure

So Ryland has decided he wants to be a Rockhound.   He's been telling us how much he loves rocks for about a year now.  His room has about as many rocks as Lego people scattered on every surface.  But about a month ago there must have been a geology lesson in his 3rd grade class because he's been passionate about rocks ever since.  He asked if he could join a rockhound club.  Wanted to know if I'd take him to look for rocks on a mountain, and if he could have one of the pick tools to break the rocks apart with.  I did the only thing a tired, barely getting over a virus working mom could do, I googled kids geology clubs in the area.  That turned up nothing.  I tried kids rock clubs.  Nothing.  Kids rockhounding?  Nada.  So I suggested he start his own rock club.  His eyes lit up and he started scheming.  I offered to let him start his own rockhounding blog.  He was jumping up and down with yes's.  So ARockHoundKid is born.

The Music Man dad asked Ryland what he was goi…

I need a Leak Healer

Periodically I'm reminded...

I'm leaking
Out my eyes
Out my mouth
I can produce nothing without the miracle of God.

I'm like a bucket full of holes
I can't hold water
I can't achieve my sole purpose
Fill me!
Fill me!
Fill me!
I want to be filled.

But I keep dripping

I'm an ancient city, strong walls breached and broken down.
Build me!
Build me!
Build me!
I want to be strong.

But I keep being found weak

I need a Leak Healer
A Wall Builder
A Life Giver
A Living Water Springer
Aw, forget the bucket
I need a spring in me!

And each time I look square in the mirror at the reality of my inability
Just when I seem most hopeless, or most aware of my hopelessness
Just then I'm most hope filled
I hope like good-as-dead Abraham hoped
In Him who calls into existence the things that do not exist

Quieted, Sheila

Clinging and Being Held

"My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me." - Psalm 63:8
I read this this morning here in the dark.  My body's not fully awake but the Spirit in me resonates an "amen" even in this sleepy shell.  I quicken and stir and whisper it into the quiet house.  I remember Ama.  Amy Charmichael, one of my heroes of the faith.  I remember something I read that Elizabeth Elliot, another woman of God who spurs me on to love and good deeds, said when talking about Amy.  She addressed her listeners first with:

"You are loved with an everlasting love," That's what the Bible says.  'And underneath are the everlasting arms."
It's what Psalm 63:8 made me think of this morning.  I'm tired.  I'm worn.  Being up with a coughing boy through the night is making waking and quiet time with the Lord hard.  But when I read Psalm 63:8 and remembered what Elizabeth said inside my tired body rose up a hope-filled joy.

I am a Christ-clinging woman.  …

I really am an old soul

I've decided I really am an 80 year old woman in a 30 something year old body. If only swing music was in now. Ella Fitzgerald is my new favorite singer. I can't dance, but if I could, it would be to Big Band/Swing music.

I read her bio on wikipedia.  Pretty amazing rags to riches story.  A black woman in the 50's singing a German rendition of this song in Berlin.  Crazy cool.

I stayed home with my ailing oldest today instead of going to church.  I really don't go to church anymore.  I say I go to church because it's too much to explain.  But really I get to hang with other redeemed-ones for an hour or so, let truth renew my mind, center-down, let the world fade away, renew my mind in Christ, and plant truth-seeds in eager children's ears.  I always walk away breathing again.  Not as soul-anemic as I was before I walked into that gathering place.

But today, I got to stay home and plant not only those good-news seeds but also my fix-breakfast-rub-back-listen…

Got power?

Committing Colossians to my heart, this struck me:

...being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father... Colossians 1:11-12a
We Christ-clinging ones, we have heard and believed and desire to live a life worthy of the Lord, though we know we will never live a life worthy of Him.  We have become fruit-bearers by His Spirit and have begun to be filled with wisdom and understanding and are being strengthened so that we may...

Have the best family we can?
Have a happy marriage?
Have obedient children?
Have a successful career?
Be financially secure?
Have a successful ministry?
Be healthy and happy?

No! Oh how selfish I am even with His grace!

Oh how I have missed the boat so many times.  So many times my thoughts begin to drown in a sea of contempt due to all the expectations I unknowingly had when the gospel-boat, the Ark of Christ came to me.  I'm so thankful He is restoring m…

The earth is full of His heaviness

I'm beyond tired.  The Music Man and I were up with Ryland from 2:30 am on.  He woke up with a stridor, which is a very scary sound!  We took him out into the cool air and he was able to breathe much easier.  It's croup.  Croup = No fun, sleepless nights and prednisone wired days.  Booo.

So I'm off to bed early tonight, so is the croupy boy.

Yesterday at church we sang a line:  The earth is filed with His glory.

Glory is a word and half.  It holds a lot of weight.  It is a lot of weight.  It comes from a word that means heaviness.   It's substance.  It's evidence.  It's presence.  It's what represents.  It's what makes one revered, honored, great, majestic.

(I didn't make it to completing this post last night.  So continuing this morning...)

When I sang, "the earth is filled with His glory," a theme filled my heart.  What is the earth full of that is the heaviness of God?  What is the earth filled with that makes God revered, honored, gre…

Psalm 5

These are my sacred minutes. Here in the dark, in the quiet, before everyone gets up, with a hot cup of coffee, a pen, my journals and Bible in this corner chair.

I come here every morning and I... groan. This morning I opened Psalm 5 after I mumbled out groanings and jumbled-up words, searching for how to start the day when my mind is already barraged with fears and doubts and its not even 6 AM yet.

"Give ear to my words, O Lord; consider my groaning. Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray. O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch." 
A sacrifice?

Truth comes to mind: Present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God... ...a sacrifice of praise, the fruit of your lips giving thanks to His name...

I move on through pleas for deliverance, confessions of languishing, reasons for asking- for the sake of your steadfast love (Psalm 6:4), more questions- Why? Why do…

Three days into my flash-flood week

(My Music/Metal-Detecting Man and his sons)

I got up at 4 AM yesterday to *try* working out before going to work. I gave it a try. Unlike cleaning up my diet, changing my workout time to 4 AM had no beneficial effect other than feeling wide awake and ready to go at 5 AM. By 10, I was ready for a nap.

I really didn't think I'd wimp out that easy since I usually get up at 5, but I guess that one hour makes a huge difference.  Maybe if I gave it a good 2 weeks I'd get used to it, but I'm not gonna. 

So today I stopped at the gym after work.  That works better for me.  I just need to get in the habit of going after work.  Working out is not a stress-reliever for me... it's a stress builder.  I know lots of people say they work out as a release, but for me, working out is crimp in my plan- my plan to slow down, read, write, think, walk, breathe and write some more.   I work out for the same reason I brush my teeth and eat my veggies (actually I like to eat my veggies…

My life-rythm is about as good as my dancing

(Connor's work on his memory verse)

When I was 16 I wanted to be a ballerina. Somehow though, six foot and awkward don't look very graceful in a tutu. I can't dance. I want to dance. I like to dance. But if you saw me and my kids playing Just Dance4 you could come up with some good blackmail material. Shoot, I can't even tap my foot to a beat for long.

My life feels sort of the same way.  I'm moving to the music the best I can, but my timing and rhythm are all messed up!  I'm always trying to get the beat back on track and I'm pretty sure if I would play just one song at a time, it wouldn't be so bad.  But as it is I'm trying to keep up with my blogging, my journaling, my 1000 gifts journal, my goal to memorize Colossians in a year, my clean eating plan, exercising, Sunday school lessons... and the daily life stuff, not to mention spending time with my kids and husband.  I guess each of those things doesn't necessarily need to be it's o…