The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD. -Proverbs 16:1

The daily stuff has crowded out all time for writing.  Lots of changes lately.  The door was firmly shut on desired plans and I'm glad to embrace the plans of my Sovereign Good Father.  I'm actually looking forward to what's ahead.

In April Connor turned 10, got a BB gun from his dad as a coming-of-age gift (and a looooong lesson in gun safety), and started his first season pitching for the Majors in Little League.  He's only one of three 10 year olds on the Majors this year.  I was a little worried it would be too much for him... turns out it's a good fit.  He's no longer the super star and is now at the bottom of the batting order.  It's a good thing to get a dose of humility with your double-digit birthday and a BB gun.

Ryland has been rockhounding every Saturday in April with me as his adult supervision and escort.  I'm actually becoming a rockhounder myself.  When I was Ryland's age I wanted to be an archeologist.  I pictured myself as a sort of female Indiana Jones.  Ryland's third grade teacher and her family have been joining us every Saturday too.  I love it that Ryland's teacher is doing this with him on her day off.   It's making learning fun for Ryland and has dramatically improved his writing skills in class (per his teacher). Thank God for good teachers!  I feel badly because today she and her family drove all the way to Payson to meet us for a geode hunting trip.  They were about a half hour behind us, so we text messaged them the directions and got started.  About an hour later they showed up at the end of their mental rope having taken a wrong-turn detour and loosing a cell phone along the way.  No more had they gotten out of their vehicle and found the missing phone than their 5 year old son started vomitting. Poor guy.  Poor mom and dad!  They cleaned him, got back in their car and headed all the way back home.

We found tons of geodes, but the bigger deal was all the quartz crystal we found!  These are not documented in the books we used to find the geode collecting site so it was pretty sweet to find these little gems in the dirt unexpectedly.

Quieted,

Sheila

Three days into my flash-flood week

(My Music/Metal-Detecting Man and his sons)



I got up at 4 AM yesterday to *try* working out before going to work. I gave it a try. Unlike cleaning up my diet, changing my workout time to 4 AM had no beneficial effect other than feeling wide awake and ready to go at 5 AM. By 10, I was ready for a nap.


I really didn't think I'd wimp out that easy since I usually get up at 5, but I guess that one hour makes a huge difference.  Maybe if I gave it a good 2 weeks I'd get used to it, but I'm not gonna. 

So today I stopped at the gym after work.  That works better for me.  I just need to get in the habit of going after work.  Working out is not a stress-reliever for me... it's a stress builder.  I know lots of people say they work out as a release, but for me, working out is crimp in my plan- my plan to slow down, read, write, think, walk, breathe and write some more.   I work out for the same reason I brush my teeth and eat my veggies (actually I like to eat my veggies)... it's good for me.  It's definitely not my hobby.

From the moment I get in my car after church on Sunday the commencing week hits me like a flash flood.  Before I know it, it's Thursday and I've got no blog post to show for it. Smile.  I seriously feel like each day that I don't write I don't fully digest that day's benefits and lessons.

I've been thinking on these quotes:

Contempt is conceived with expectations.  Respect is conceived with expressions of gratitude.  We can choose which one we will obsess over- expectations, or thanksgivings.  That choice will result in a birth- and the child will be named either contempt, or respect. - Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

Making someone else feel smaller so that we can feel larger is antithetical to the Christian faith, a complete rejection of the Christian virtues of humility, sacrifice, and service.  So often Jesus left the crowd to minister to the individual, while we rationalize leaving the individual- particularly our spouse- to curry favor with the crowd... If a man or woman is unrelentingly ambitious, willing to ignore or to sacrifice a spouse as they pursue their own agenda, they will almost undoubtedly be unrelentingly ambitious toward others as well, bringing them on board to serve their purposes, not to engage them in mutual kingdom service. - Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

Well my world-weary Music Man is home from a 14 hour mentally-grueling day.  Now would be a good time to leave the crowd to minister to the one.

Quieted,

Sheila

My life-rythm is about as good as my dancing

(Connor's work on his memory verse)



When I was 16 I wanted to be a ballerina. Somehow though, six foot and awkward don't look very graceful in a tutu. I can't dance. I want to dance. I like to dance. But if you saw me and my kids playing Just Dance4 you could come up with some good blackmail material. Shoot, I can't even tap my foot to a beat for long.


My life feels sort of the same way.  I'm moving to the music the best I can, but my timing and rhythm are all messed up!  I'm always trying to get the beat back on track and I'm pretty sure if I would play just one song at a time, it wouldn't be so bad.  But as it is I'm trying to keep up with my blogging, my journaling, my 1000 gifts journal, my goal to memorize Colossians in a year, my clean eating plan, exercising, Sunday school lessons... and the daily life stuff, not to mention spending time with my kids and husband.  I guess each of those things doesn't necessarily need to be it's own "song".  It can be an instrument in the symphony God is composing out of my life.  I need to focus on the Conductor and not worry about all the instruments and just simply play the part He's conducting me in now.

Mornings begin the rhythm... If I get that wrong, the rest of the day is not so harmonic.  I've been taking in the Word every morning with my black coffee and using the memorizing of Colossians as my daily bread. 

The month of January was dedicated to clean eating, grateful journaling, seeking Eucharistic living, heart-knowing the Word, and more consistent exercise.  By the grace of God, all those endeavors have been blessed with success.  More grace and mercy to keep moving forward please!

I know it was grace-given success because a root of bitterness got dealt with and seeds of gratitude are already bearing fruit: having contempt for contempt I chose to think on the good and so decided to call him my Music Man.  He loves to jam.  He walks around with his guitar.  He's always reminding me, without saying a word, of that seemingly prophetic line in the song we walked down the isle as husband and wife to:

They say that the road
Ain't no place to start a family
Right down the line it's been you and me
And loving a music man
Ain't always what it's supposed to be
Oh Girl
You stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully

I'm reading several books right now:  A Long Obedience In The Same Direction,  If God is Good,  It Starts With Food, Sacred Marriage, and Robinson Crusoe.  I keep bouncing from one to the next.  There are so many good quotes in them all.  I keep highlighting and underlining and dog-earing... good books. 

Baseball season is coming.  Connor and James do baseball.  I cheer them on and support in anyway I can.  Ryland looks for other player's siblings who want to play a game with him.  Ryland's been doing Crossfit kids.  He loves it.  I'm glad.  It's the only physically active activity  he enjoys.  He also wants to join chess club and today told me he misses piano lessons.  It's gotta be hard for non-jock boy with a jock dad and jock big brother.  Actually, he doesn't seem to think it's hard.  He's perfectly happy the way he is. 

Sometimes I feel we could easily become a family where one child goes with one parent and the other child with the other parent.  I guard against that.  When it's Connor's baseball season we are there for him.  When Ryland has Crossfit or is involved with the chess club, we're there for him. 

Since I spent the last 30 + days doing the Whole30 challenge I am now being encouraged by the Music Man to pursue cooking my clean, nutrient dense meals and bringing them to Crossfit gyms in the area to sell to fatigued post WOD-ers.  He suggests a morning, afternoon, and evening stop.  I guess he likes my cooking.  Smile. 

At first I thought he was just being nice, but he's serious business.  So we'll see where this goes.  I don't even know where to start.  I guess three good, kitchen-tested recipes, say, a breakfast, lunch and dinner, might be a good place to start.  Then maybe just a giveaway after a WOD... hmmm, I feel a brainstorm coming.  I guess I'll take a step of faith and go for it.   This is one of those things where I look up and think maybe the stars are aligned right...  The Proverbs 21:1 star, the 1 Peter 5:6 star, and the 1 Peter 3:1 star. 

I gave my notice at work that I won't be coming back next year.  This was before the suggestion by the Music Man to get a "roach coach" (as he puts it) and start selling Something Real meals.  I made the decision to go back to work at a hospital next year part time and use the tuition reimbursement most hospital's offer to finish my bachelor's degree in nursing.  In 2020 it will be a requirement to even become a R.N.  No more A.A.S. nurses like me.  My priority is building relationships in my family and making a home, and whatever work I do for an income needs to support that, not tear it down.  Working as a school nurse has a very beneficial schedule for a mom of school aged children, but I've decided the trade off of evenings, weekends, holidays and summer break doesn't make up for the daily life available and together.  As it is right now I feel like a part-time, seasonal mom and wife and a full-time school nurse.  That is the wrong order.  The Music Man is supportive of this and as I said, is even now encouraging me towards entrepreneurship.  Who knew?!  I know Who knew.  And He also knows what's next.  All my plans are in His hands.  If the Lord wills, next year I will be working part time, working on my bachelor's degree online, and hopefully helping out in a classroom once a week... my kids' classroom!

If every morning and every evening and all day long I don't come back to the lyrics of truth, when the seasons of my life change, when the many options surround me, when I want my life to be what it's not, when thoughts barrage and lies slip in, I loose the beat and fall apart.  But if I can keep the beat of truth going all day and all night I might just be a dancer in His sight. 

Quieted,

Sheila

Just because I'm trying to stay in the habit...

Being so tired you don't even want to brush your teeth is probably a good indicator not to write anything publicly. But since I'm trying to stay in the habit of writing, I'm writing.

It was a go from my school, to my kids' school to the asthma and allergy doctor, to the Chic-fil-A drive thru, to the house to change into baseball gear, to the baseball field for back to back baseball practices day. Whew. I'm pooped.

Not a surprise, I managed to forget the picture envelopes for the parent's on my oldest's team. Our pictures are Saturday and since the head coach (my other half) won't be there, I'll be expected to be directing the show. Well not really. The assistant coach will be there and he's been doing a pretty good job of fill-in head coach. Nevertheless I feel responsible as a representative of the head coach to have my stuff together. Tonight I didn't. I did get the snack schedule out though.

This is not the way I like to do life. I like life on a long-walk pace. When the day is jam packed and I find myself irritated at any extra noise I just look up. And thank God for treasures like sleep. I'm glad we get to rest. I read somewhere that sleeping is like a daily dying. We die to today. We wake up to new mercies.

Ryland got poked 72 times on his back today at the asthma and allergy doctor. He took it like a champ even with tears streaming down his face. Turns out he's allergic to the cat he loves, the molds that (according to the doctor) blow into our valley with every monsoon season, palo verde trees, and every grass imaginable. Starting tonight he has a nasal inhaler, a twice daily asthma preventative inhaler, a daily antihistamine, eye drops and a daily nasal wash.

That's all I've got. Oh, and this:

As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God!- Psalm 40:17

Quieted,

Sheila

Monday

It makes me smile hearing my 7 and 9 year old sons converse.

They talk about who's doing what with their toy riffles. What ship their building with Legos.  What Montero's batting average is.  How Chris Young swings a bat.  Makes me smile.

Finished up all but one vision and hearing screening today.  Whew.  On tomorrow's list is an audit of my entire school population's immunization records.  We have a new system feature to run mandatory state reports that we've, in the past, had to manually gather data and put together.  Only problem is, the report is only as good as the information entered in the system.  And with no secretary entering immunization records in the system for me, that means I'll be getting very comfortable with my ten key pad and squeezing in as many of those numbers into the system as I can between bug bites (which there have been a lot of lately), nosebleeds, asthma attacks, fevers, sore throats, I-want-to-get-out-of-class stomach aches, daily medications, blood sugar checks, carbohydrate and insulin calculations, calls to parents, calls from parents, calls to teachers, etc.   Should be a full day.

Tomorrow is the last full school day for the kids at my school.  Wednesday, Thursday and Friday are half days.  Someone I work with today mentioned we only have one more full day and three half days left!  Someone else responded that didn't count since only the kids get to go home early, not us.  To which I responded, it does count because you can get a lot more done without the kids.  All those numbers will get entered when no one's coming in my office every 5 minutes with a nurse-need.  I prefer the kids to the numbers and papers hands-down any day!  But when the no-fun work has to get done, it can get done much more efficiently with just me, itunes and the 10 key pad.

The boys asked me tonight if I get scared when dad's not around.  What if someone breaks into the house? What should we do?  They definitely feel protected when dad is here.  I told them a verse from the Bible that always brings me comfort:

In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.- Psalm 4:8

It feels more safe with a man in the house.  But the truth is, the LORD alone is the one who makes me dwell in safety.  Man or no man.

I also told them a trick I use when I'm scared: sing!  Sing a song like this:

Quieted,

Sheila