You Liberals think that goats are just sheep from broken homes. - Malcom Bradbury

I just threw that title in cause it's a crazy presidential election season, but I should have titled this post: We're giving up the goats.

Yep, you read correctly.  Our family's 3 plus year adventure with dairy goats is coming to an end.

If only had once sentence to explain why I'm doing this it would be this:

I believe God is leading me to use my time, resources and skills as a nurse to serve others in His name more.

*****I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!  The above was the beginning of a long, thought-out post about why I've decided to give up the dairy goats in pursuit of more time available for serving God with my life as a nurse... or however He leads.  But, the Mac locked up and I had to force quite and that is all that's left!  I guess I don't need to post a long thought out post.  Deep sigh.

I guess I'll just post pics from our years with the goats and say, I'll miss the cheese and yogurt and milk.  I'll miss the kidding seasons and those floppy-eared personalities.  But I'm looking forward to laying aside the good to pursue the best in what God would lead me to do right now.

FYI:   For my soap customers and friends: I'll still be making soap.  Goats Make Soap Co. will have a new direction and operate a bit differently, but we'll still be making our amazing soaps.

“If we really have too much to do, there are some items on the agenda which God did not put there. Let us submit the list to him and ask him to indicate which items we must delete. There is always time to do the will of God. If we are too busy to do that, we are too busy.”

- Elisabeth Elliot 

Mixed feelings on 42.

As of today I'm 42.  

Today is a mixed bag of emotions. The day started at 5:30 AM, which is an hour and a half sleep-in compared to the 4 AM wake up call on workdays.  The baby goats are being separated from their mom's at night to begin the weaning process, so when I walk the acre from our back door, under the stars, to the corral where they're at, I'm greeted by 7 goat kids screaming, "MAAAAA!!"

I tiredly fed the baby girl (The 6 boys we have left I stopped bottle feeding in the morning.  They seem to be getting what they need from their mom's and will be weaned completely from milk by 2 months of age.) and then thought I'd sneak back into the house and sleep more until 7:30 and then come back and milk the momma goats, but I decided to just get the milking chores done and then nap after.  The nap finally came at 12:30 after morning chores and a guy responding to our Craigslist ad for free mulch came to pick up a load... and I did some reading.

James put the boys to work yesterday and today for their first 2 days of summer break.  Yesterday he had them purge every closet, cabinet and drawer in the entire house.  Today he had them cleaning the back patio, garage and barn.   They did good.  I think they're happier when they do hard work.  

I, on the other hand, refrained from all chores and soap making today.  I spent some time reading and thinking and praying about dear friends, broken relationships and people I care about with major things going on in their lives.  I also decided to pull out the Jamberry gel nail kit I bought like 6 months ago and actually paint my nails.  It put the nail in the coffin for me.  I am not a nail person!  I just don't want to spend an hour of my life painting my fingernails.  They do feel nice, but I feel a little like a cat feels when you put scotch tape on his paws.

The day started getting heavy when I got news that my grandpa Don passed away this morning.  Grandpa Don has been married to my grandma Oleta since I was about 13.  I was not close to him but I know he had a servant's heart... always helping and serving my grandma and her kids and grandkids.  For the last few years he's had to live in a memory care facility due to his worsening Alzheimer's disease.  It's been hard for my grandma Oleta not having him at home as she's been struggling with a lung cancer diagnosis and her own health issues.  I know my grandma is grieving the loss of her brother this week too.  My heart is heavy for her.  I wish I lived closer!

Grief is a hard thing.  You don't have to experience a physical death to experience grief.   Divorce and betrayal can create the worst kind of grief...  for more than just the couple and their immediate family.   I tried to face that grief with vulnerability and love today in a very small way.  Someone asked me why not just ignore it.  I can't.  Love can't.  Forgiveness can't.  Ignoring it is just letting it fester deep inside.

Tomorrow I'll start at 4 am and end at 9 pm with breakfast, a 12 hour shift at the hospital and a quick bite to eat in between.  Repeat twice.  Then I'll be home for three days to plan the summer events with the boys, make soap and lotion orders, ship soap, hopefully sell some more bucklings, attend a Linear Appraisal from the ADGA and hopefully do a trip to the library.

I can easily fall into the trap of living under the tyranny of the urgent.  I don't want to though.  Taking a day like today to rest from the normal business is a good way for me to look the Urgency Tyrant in the face and say, "God's in charge.  Not you."  I think that's in the Bible somewhere.  :)

Every year that passes I am becoming more and more in agreement with the heart cry in the prayer, "So teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom!"

Quieted, 

Sheila