"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." -James 4:8
Sometimes I'm overwhelmed, like tonight, with the impossibleness of the ones I love drawing near to God. Even my own faith is tested and I know, that if my faith wasn't kept by the power of God (1 Peter 1:5) I would not draw near to Him either.
I mean, why would a person draw near to the God who by all means must and should reject you? So many doubts, so many unanswered questions, so much lack of understanding, so much love of darkness... why would anyone come to Him, even these that I love... even myself!?
I think all this, and I'm there, at the table the LORD prepares for me in the PRESENCE of my enemies (Psalm 23:5). Surround by enemies, He whispers this hope:
"No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise
him up at the last day." -John 6:44
And then I cry, "Oh Father! Draw them! Draw me! Don't stop! We'll never come if You don't draw us!"
I find myself at His mercy, which though I tremble, is the best place for me to be. Though all odds are against me and the ones I love, and though the total otherness of Him who draws me threatens to send me running, I curl up at His feet, with my hands surrendered in the air saying,
"Lord, to whom shall I go? You have the words of eternal life." -John 6:68
I come boldly to You King of kings. I think I might be feeling a bit like Esther right now as I run boldly to the throne of grace, that I may obtain mercy and find grace to help in this time of need! You have every reason to reject me, certainly unless You extend Your scepter of grace towards me I'm dead! And so it is for these that I love too! Unless Your grace is for us, we're dead! But if I die, I die. For it is not hope in me or hope in them that sends me running to You, it's hope in YOU!!! "Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at Your right hand making intercession for us!" Oh those words are my hope!!! My hope, encourage my weak heart! The enemy surrounds me and these that I love, and I come to Your table where Your broken body is the feast on which my spirit can live! Let me just trust You! Save us Lord! Save these that I love, not just from hell for eternity, but from believing and helping hell now! Draw us to You and then we will draw near to You and You will draw near to us! My hope is in You Lord Jesus! My hope is in You!!!