Skip to main content

At His Mercy

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." -James 4:8

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed, like tonight, with the impossibleness of the ones I love drawing near to God. Even my own faith is tested and I know, that if my faith wasn't kept by the power of God (1 Peter 1:5) I would not draw near to Him either.

I mean, why would a person draw near to the God who by all means must and should reject you? So many doubts, so many unanswered questions, so much lack of understanding, so much love of darkness... why would anyone come to Him, even these that I love... even myself!?

I think all this, and I'm there, at the table the LORD prepares for me in the PRESENCE of my enemies (Psalm 23:5). Surround by enemies, He whispers this hope:

"No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise
him up at the last day
." -John 6:44


And then I cry, "Oh Father! Draw them! Draw me! Don't stop! We'll never come if You don't draw us!"

I find myself at His mercy, which though I tremble, is the best place for me to be. Though all odds are against me and the ones I love, and though the total otherness of Him who draws me threatens to send me running, I curl up at His feet, with my hands surrendered in the air saying,

"Lord, to whom shall I go? You have the words of eternal life." -John 6:68

I come boldly to You King of kings. I think I might be feeling a bit like Esther right now as I run boldly to the throne of grace, that I may obtain mercy and find grace to help in this time of need! You have every reason to reject me, certainly unless You extend Your scepter of grace towards me I'm dead! And so it is for these that I love too! Unless Your grace is for us, we're dead! But if I die, I die. For it is not hope in me or hope in them that sends me running to You, it's hope in YOU!!! "Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at Your right hand making intercession for us!" Oh those words are my hope!!! My hope, encourage my weak heart! The enemy surrounds me and these that I love, and I come to Your table where Your broken body is the feast on which my spirit can live! Let me just trust You! Save us Lord! Save these that I love, not just from hell for eternity, but from believing and helping hell now! Draw us to You and then we will draw near to You and You will draw near to us! My hope is in You Lord Jesus! My hope is in You!!!

Redeeming the time,

Comments

  1. Dear Sheila,

    I really had a good cry reading this post. The heartache for our loved ones can overwhelm us; it can seem so impossible to reach them; it takes so long for them to come to God. He wants on one to perish. Our hope is in the Lord.

    You are added to my prayer list today.

    Love, Ernestine

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a beautifully written post, Sheila! That really touched me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bless you sister! I've been in much prayer for you and your entire family. :-)

    I have a Christmas giveaway going on at my blog. It started today and will end next Thursday. It's FULL of resources for you to evangelize your own family, friends and complete strangers.

    With great love,
    Sunny

    ReplyDelete
  4. How true it is that we feel so inadequate ourselves in the light of the Lord, that we cannot imagine Him wanting to save us! But, praise God for his mercy and grace so that we are saved and can share and spread His word!


    BTW, I gave you an award over at my blog, swing by if you get the chance!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, my tears are bubblin over like a babblin baby. Wow, what passion, and how this is the cry of my heart as well!!!!

    BTW, I THINK it is you, but forgive me if not, that likes the teen fiction pieces. I posted another one on my blog today, and I hope you are able to pass it on to whomever you mentioned the last time. Here's the link to make it easy:
    Double The Irony

    Much love,
    LauraLee

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow. Touching prayer and beautifully worded. Btw, I love your new blog design. Your heading is adorable!
    Jenny

    ReplyDelete
  7. I loved reading the passion in your post, and then all the impassioned responses above. Don't we all just love Jesus? Isn't it SO GOOD to hear others share their heart of love toward HIM?

    Bless you, Sheila!

    P.S. I really love this verse: "No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day." -John 6:44

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ladies, I love it that each of you share in this passion for the hope of the gospel! We have no hope except in Him... and what a great and sure hope He is!!!

    It encourages my heart so much that each of you share this with me... we are not alone.

    Praying for you this morning!
    Sheila

    ReplyDelete
  9. Again, wow...Just what I have needed, and I think you hit a little bit of what I have been feeling too, or at least what I should be feeling.

    I am adding you to my blog post updates..

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

eyes on the Author- the every morning struggle to walk by faith

I don't wake up full of vision and motivation.  Actually, what motivates me most is the idea that my french press and single-origin coffee from Guatemala are just minutes away from awaking my senses with it's warm, toasty aroma.  And on those days when I get my stiff, puffy-eyed body out of bed and make my way to the cabinet to prep the press with my favorite coffee and find we're out, I feel great motivation to get dressed and drive to the local store so I can hurry up and get back home before too much time has passed and get my coffee going.

Basically, coffee motivates me to get up in the morning.

Mixed in the grogginess between eyes open and that first cup of coffee I remember who I am.

I am not my own.  I am a Christian.  The weight of meaning in that word falls on me like gravity on the fledgling attempts of a young eagle to fly every morning.

I feel myself falling.  Falling. Squawking out a cry, "Help!  Help Lord!  I am yours. Let me hear your loving kindness…

An Unlikely 23 Years

Wedding Day- Sept.4, 1993
Connor's birthday- April 1, 2003
During our first separation and pregnancy with Ryland- November 2004
Seeking a new start in Arizona all together- October 2005
 Second separation March 2010
Still together on a desert trail- Spring 2015
Today has been a tough day, emotionally.

Twenty three years ago today I made a vow before God and about 100 family and friends to take James as my husband, to have and to hold from that day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, till death do us part.

Those are some serious promises.  Better, worse, richer and poorer, sickness and health have all been part of these 23 years.  Honestly, most of it has been hard.  We weren't a very likely match at 19 and 21.  He from the big city, me from a small town.  His dad a pharmacist, mine a log truck driver.  We met in a child development class, taking pre-reqs for nursing.  He hated it.  I loved it.  He had long hair and torn jeans and l…

post anesthesia thoughts

(has nothing to do with the post, just a pretty pic i took a long time ago)
I'm not going to over think this post too much.  I had minor surgery today and am still feeling drunk on leftover anesthesia/fentanyl/percocet.  Consider yourself and the three other people reading this warned.
In the past few weeks I've been listening to podcasts from writers, reading articles about blogging and freelance writing, etc.  In one of those I was admonished to write something daily.  Be it a blog post, a journal entry, a poem... something.  Because writers don't just think about writing, they write.  I think my pastor said or wrote that once too.  It struck me then, and when I read this lady's article.  I am a writer.  Not a known writer.  Not the best writer.  But I enjoy writing and I just process life better when I'm writing.  But when I set out to write something, especially publicly, I sometimes step in the quicksand of self-analyzing and get stuck there.  And then I don&#…