can i just ask for your prayers

There's a big disconnect between what I share here and what's going on with me lately. I feel like I've gotten to know so many of you via this blog thing and I'm so grateful. So can I just ask for your prayers.

So many things are changing for me right now, and with my recent revival in desire to abandon myself to return to being a vessel of daring love to my husband, it seems all hell is rising up to oppose me!

Today I'll be making daycare arrangements with a woman who is practically a stranger to me (we have no family here to trust with our kids when there's a need) and enrolling my kindergartner in the public school right in the middle of this year/term, all because I have to go find a part-time job that will still allow me to watch over this home I've been entrusted with.

I've been doing as much of the looking as I can from home, but because I haven't landed a part-time job yet, I need to go do some face to face talking with people.

None of this is what I planned for, but I am entrusting myself to God's Sovereign love in it all. Nevertheless, this momma wants to curl up in a ball and bawl!

So I'd appreciate your prayers much!

Redeeming the time

Thanks for your prayers

Hey all you sweet blogging sisters! Just wanted to thank you for your prayers for my family today.

My husband's surgery went well. He's home and hurting, but well.

This is my prayer:

That I would, "...always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks
you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear." (1
Peter 3:15)

Redeeming the time,

At His Mercy

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." -James 4:8

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed, like tonight, with the impossibleness of the ones I love drawing near to God. Even my own faith is tested and I know, that if my faith wasn't kept by the power of God (1 Peter 1:5) I would not draw near to Him either.

I mean, why would a person draw near to the God who by all means must and should reject you? So many doubts, so many unanswered questions, so much lack of understanding, so much love of darkness... why would anyone come to Him, even these that I love... even myself!?

I think all this, and I'm there, at the table the LORD prepares for me in the PRESENCE of my enemies (Psalm 23:5). Surround by enemies, He whispers this hope:

"No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise
him up at the last day." -John 6:44

And then I cry, "Oh Father! Draw them! Draw me! Don't stop! We'll never come if You don't draw us!"

I find myself at His mercy, which though I tremble, is the best place for me to be. Though all odds are against me and the ones I love, and though the total otherness of Him who draws me threatens to send me running, I curl up at His feet, with my hands surrendered in the air saying,

"Lord, to whom shall I go? You have the words of eternal life." -John 6:68

I come boldly to You King of kings. I think I might be feeling a bit like Esther right now as I run boldly to the throne of grace, that I may obtain mercy and find grace to help in this time of need! You have every reason to reject me, certainly unless You extend Your scepter of grace towards me I'm dead! And so it is for these that I love too! Unless Your grace is for us, we're dead! But if I die, I die. For it is not hope in me or hope in them that sends me running to You, it's hope in YOU!!! "Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at Your right hand making intercession for us!" Oh those words are my hope!!! My hope, encourage my weak heart! The enemy surrounds me and these that I love, and I come to Your table where Your broken body is the feast on which my spirit can live! Let me just trust You! Save us Lord! Save these that I love, not just from hell for eternity, but from believing and helping hell now! Draw us to You and then we will draw near to You and You will draw near to us! My hope is in You Lord Jesus! My hope is in You!!!

Redeeming the time,

Do you know about this?

(Thanks to Jennifer at Gathering Grace for posting this video)

I usually don't post about politics, and I don't think I'm really posting about politics even now. This is a post about defending life and shining light on the judgements our potential future leaders are making.

I had heard about Senator Obama's position of defending the murder of live born infants who did not die while trying to be murdered in the womb. (And I do not apologize for using the word murder. I won't hide behind medical sounding terms like, infanticide or late-term abortion...It's murder!) But I had not heard this testimony from one of the nurses who worked and witnessed this murder taking place.

It makes me angry and sick! I don't understand how a man can look his kids in the eye or say he stands for the underdog or the struggling American when he supports the murder of the most "under" underdog-human there is...the unborn human baby. And it's not even the unborn baby's murder he supports, it's the struggling-born one who didn't die the way it was intended the first time that he supports being left to die.

I don't even know how to write this out! It probably doesn't make any sense what I'm writing. What am I saying? OF COURSE IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! THE MURDER OF HUMAN LIFE IN OR OUT OF THE WOMB DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!

I have a very strong conviction from the Word to honor and pray for those who are leaders in government. Yet this conviction is put to the test when I think about honoring and praying for a man who supports the killing of live-born babies as a "RIGHT" to be defended. But this is where the love of Christ has opportunity to be seen. It isn't in loving those who do good, who defend life and honor the baby's right to have life, that the redeeming love of Christ is seen (though I do love and thank God for leaders who stand for the rights of unborn babies), but rather it is loving those who do evil...my enemies.

Please join me in praying for Mr. Obama and those governmental leaders who support infanticide and the killing of babies in the womb. Pray that God would unveil their eyes to see their sin and the love of Christ who died to save them!

You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.- Matt.5:43-48

It's a new Tuesday...

Yesterday was quite a day for me. I spent the day just praying constantly as I read through the rest of The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee in between cleaning up piles of shrub and tree clippings laying around the yard from the weekend landscape jobs my husband did. I feel like I struck oil!!!

I also was faced with the pains of this life and the voices of hell that scream terror into our lives when someone we love commits suicide. I have a loved one who's closest friend in the world committed suicide a few years back and now he finds his self in a pit of the enemy's making being tempted himself to believe his life is not worth living. I myself have felt the tremors of hell in this. My dear friend committed suicide when I she and I were just 16. If you know what I'm talking about because this torture has injured your life somehow through someone you love or know I don't need to explain. If you don't know, words like torture, terror, screams of hell...are the only words I can conjure up to try to relate to you what loosing someone to suicide does to you. I'm fervently prayerful and at the same time encouraged in the Lord because I have just been reminded through my reading of Mr. Nee's book that the same might that raised Jesus from the dead resides in me! He lives in me! He hears my cries, He's letting me partake of HIS work in intercession and He's doing a delivering work for this one that I love who the enemy is seeking to kill, steal and destroy! Would you join me in praying for this loved one of mine, and for people who are terrorized by the suicide of someone they love?!

I think of the story of Lazarus. It's the story I believe the Spirit has brought to mind to show me that this is the very work He is doing in the life of this person I love and am concerned for. He is allowing things to seem like they are unrevivable...dead, so that He can prove His resurrection power and the realness of His life to this person I love and so that He can be glorified by the many who are seeking Him for this person's healing and weeping, feeling like it's hopeless. IT isn't hopeless! "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?...Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?...Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. And I know that You always hear Me, but because of the people who are standing by I said this, that they may believe that You sent Me." (John 11:25-26, 40b, 41b-42)

I'm trusting in the Resurrection and the Life to make today a new Tuesday for this person I love. A new Tuesday and a new life!

I hope to post later some of the oil I struck yesterday in finishing up Watchman Nee's book. Also, I've posted the Last Challenge over at Timothy Moms if you'd like to join.

Trusting in Jesus

~Sheila~

Father's Day

I get worried. And I shouldn't. Rather, I should pray and trust my Father in heaven for the things that burden my heart concerning my husband as the father of our children and concerning the man God gave me for a father, this Father's day.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:4-7

Oh Lord! I don't know how to pray, but I thank you and rejoice in how you've used my husband and father to conform me more to the image of your Son! I want them to know you intimately! I pray that you would reveal yourself to them and rescue them out of the things that bind them and give them ears to hear you! Quicken their hearts Father! Unless YOU draw them, unless YOU draw any man, they won't come to you! Tenderize my earthly father's heart and remove the dullness that deafens his spiritual ears. When he prays, answer His father...Please! Let him hear you! Don't let go numbly on! Revive the joy of his salvation! Preserve and keep the smoldering fire and the bruised reed!

And for my kid's daddy...Oh Jesus! You know my tears and my heart! You know my fears and my worries! I'm so lacking in faith Lord. Don't I know that You desire more than I do, that You know what I don't! Use my kids' dad to conform them to the image of your Son. Guard and keep their hearts God. Don't let the sins of their mother or father be a gateway for the enemy to hold them in bondage too! Deliver Lord! Deliver! Shine your light Lord Jesus, say, "Awake, you who sleep, Arise from the dead, And Christ will give you light." (Ephesians 5:14)

Please reveal yourself as the perfect Father to my husband and my dad. Let them taste and know who You are as a dad!

I entrust my heart to you Father! And I bring you these that I love!

Amen!

Go to Timothy Moms to see a great reminder this Father's day of the love of our Father.