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Showing posts from December, 2012

I'm the Odd Couple's 38 year old mom in a 68 year old body

I never know what to put in the title line, especially on a day like today. Maybe: My hip and knee hurt bad! Or: I have pockets of puffiness under my eyes that won't go away and weren't there yesterday. Or: My baby is eight today! Or: My sister is coming tomorrow!

I'll tell ya, 38 has been a year of physical breakdown I didn't expect until at least 58.   And I don't like it one bit!  I shouldn't have to pull on the car door to get out of my car because of my knee pain in my 30's!  And I shouldn't be limping and walking half bent over the day after going for a one mile jog.  And I should be popping 1600 mg of ibuprofen everyday so I can not wince with everyday movements.  All of this should be non-exsistent.  I can't even think about squatting or lunging or burpees or kettle bell swings or any other gym workout that isn't in the old-lady water aerobics class.

So I had an MRI on the 8th and was referred to an orthopedic doc.  I saw him tod…

Things were different this year. But one thing never changes.

Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house... everyone was doing their usual thing.

But as I look back over the last month (which flew by at record speed) I'm glad we did things a little differently this year.  I hope it'll be even more different next year.

All those gifts under the tree that crowded out the nativity scene aren't there now.  They produce sounds of glee and smiles and excitement for about an hour and then came the complaining.  One boy came out of the bedroom tattling on the other, "Mom ___________ says this is the worst Christmas ever."  It's no fun seeing and hearing the evidence of the fallen creatures we are come out of your children.  The self-centered twist from the Christ-centered way is in all of us.  Even our children.

This could evoke punishment, anger, rash-consequences... all of those rose up in me like embers from a flame and then fell like ash.  Then grace and truth like a faithful friend rose up and I called the err…

The purpose of Christmas

The tree is lit, ornaments hanging, gifts piled, the homemade nativity scene crowded out by fancy wrapped boxes.  Everyone is waiting. The kids are waiting for about 24 hours from now when they'll wake up and rip that pretty paper off those boxes and smile at the surprises inside.  My Jesse tree advent readings have us anticipating the birth of the Long-Promised One.

Tomorrow's the big day, but really the big day already came.  And went.

Mary's big day came and went to.  She swelled with the Promised One and delivered Him.  She was born a mom that day, but even more, she was born a Christ-bearer.  Christ was born through her.

Like me, she pondered that miracle and just who this Child was.  And we get some hints at what she maybe thought He was.

When those scraggly shepherds came telling her and Joseph what they'd heard from angels she was amazed and pondered what they said in her heart.
And this homemaker at the end of 2012, ponders the Word that has been spoken to me…

The problem of evil

I was asked tonight why God doesn't end the evil now, why wait? I was asked why pray to a God who is going to let evil continue?  "Why pray He's not going to change His mind, He's going to do whatever He's going to do anyway!"

I feel like I failed miserably in my attempts to answer.  I pray somehow, in my weakness, God would show Himself strong and speak truth in the ears of the ones with understandable questions.

As I sat tonight after reading about Elijah, calling on God in a set-up to prove nothing is impossible with Him and that He alone is God, and after reading the prophecy that some day, the lion will lie with the lamb, and after reading Peter's letter to answer the questions about why and how long- he said God is patient, not wanting anyone to perish, but wanting everyone to come to repentance.  God is waiting for us.  He is not slow in bringing about His promise to bring evil to an end, He is patient to draw us out first.  After I read all this,…

What image?

In Romans 8:28-29 it says God's agenda for my life is to conform me to the image of His Son.

I've had an agenda in mind for what God would do for me.  Was it to conform me to the image of His Son?  What image did I have in mind?

Was it one of power and glory?  Here and now?  Princess of God?  Woman of valor?  Strong?  Powerful?  Free?

Did it have anything to do with humility?  Obedience?  Endurance of suffering?  Thinking more highly of others than myself?  Death to self?  Following the Foot Washing King, even the cross-bearing One?

I don't think I have the image wrong, but the order I get wrong all the time.  I put the glory before the suffering.

Does not the seed have to die before it becomes a flower?  Did not the One whom I'm to be made like suffer before He was raised?  Did not the One who said He was Lord and King, come first as a servant to all? 

One day I will enjoy the glory, the strength and the wonders of being made like Him.  But first I must be made like…

So basically you are your dad with female parts. - An un-named spouse

I had a dentist appointment yesterday that ended in scheduling two crowns at the cost of $1000! Four of my teeth have old fillings from 1980 something which now have deep fissures.  Two of them have been causing me quite a bit of pain.

I had the first eye exam of my life today.  Got tired of having a hard time reading without having to extend my arm after about 10 minutes.  The unsurprising verdict: I need reading glasses, but my distance vision is good.

Tomorrow I have an appointment for what I think is a torn meniscus in my knee, bursitis in my left hip and a "slipped disc" in my lower back.  I think the knee injury I've been living with for the past year has caused un-neccessary wear and tear on my hip, causing the bursitis.  And the pain in my hip and knee have caused me to stop squatting and start bending over which has caused the week spot that I always seem to put out on my back to go out again this week.

I don't like going to doctors.  I don't like havi…

What to do when you feel alone and the past still hurts?

Some days are easier than others. Some days are harder than others. None of the circumstances really change that much, but the feelings sure do.

So what do you do when those old aching wounds throb and you feel alone, like no one understands?

There are sure chains that masquerade as quick escape hatches from such suffocating feelings.  Some of those decieving chains come in a bottle.  Some in a wrapper.  Some on the T.V.  Some in another's spring. 

David felt the desire to escape too.  Here's what he did:

For it is not an enemy who taunts me-- then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me-- then I could hide from him. But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend... But I call to God, and the LORD will save me. Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he hears my voice.- Psalm 55:12-13, 16-17
He complained to God.  He moaned to God.  He called to the only One who can save you out of the pit.

I m…

Marveling at our history of grace

It's my fourth year doing it. You'd think I'd be on track by now. I don't know why I thought that today was November 31st. I guess I forgot that old rhyme I learned back in first grade.  When I ran into my friends from church who are about to have their first baby in a few weeks, and Michele, the mom to be, mentioned her baby shower tomorrow, my brain instantly began searching my non-exsistent mental calender.  I seriously need an iPhone with Siri for the sole purpose of having it vocally remind my of appointments and dates.  Written calendars do me no good.  They're not right in front of my eyes!

Anyway, so when I got the stuff for making our Jesse Tree ornaments a little more permanent from the craft store and started putting them together this evening at home with Ryland, I realized we were supposed to start the Jesse Tree on the 29th.  So, tonight we'll have an extra long reading.

I'm just a little idealistic.  I'm convinced I was meant to be a …