Skip to main content

So basically you are your dad with female parts. - An un-named spouse

I had a dentist appointment yesterday that ended in scheduling two crowns at the cost of $1000! Four of my teeth have old fillings from 1980 something which now have deep fissures.  Two of them have been causing me quite a bit of pain.

I had the first eye exam of my life today.  Got tired of having a hard time reading without having to extend my arm after about 10 minutes.  The unsurprising verdict: I need reading glasses, but my distance vision is good.

Tomorrow I have an appointment for what I think is a torn meniscus in my knee, bursitis in my left hip and a "slipped disc" in my lower back.  I think the knee injury I've been living with for the past year has caused un-neccessary wear and tear on my hip, causing the bursitis.  And the pain in my hip and knee have caused me to stop squatting and start bending over which has caused the week spot that I always seem to put out on my back to go out again this week.

I don't like going to doctors.  I don't like having to try to explain myself and then have them order a battery of tests which show everything is normal.  I'd rather just accept the wear and tear on my body, but unfortunately the knee and hip and back are not in agreement.  They are not accepting it!  I about passed out in the store with the kids the other day when I leaned forward the wrong way apparently and the pain in my back caused me to go to my knees.  As I was standing up everything went black.  That's when I decided I'd better not just keep ignoring the problem.

My dad has all these maladies.  I guess we're alike that way.  That and Eeyore.  You know the donkey from Winnie the Pooh?  My dad and I can be known for our somewhat gloomy and anhedonic mannerisms amongst family and close friends.  I think my dad is worse... I think I'm a "healthy" (if that isn't an ironic word) mix of my dad's downright depressing tone and my mom's slightly manic one.  Lately I've been feeling "Ohh-kayyy"(in my best Eeyore voice).  But tonight Sarah gave me a smile.

Tonight's Jesse Tree reading was Sarah's laughter and naming of Isaac, her very unlikely yet promised-by-God son.  I've been feeling a little down in the dumps, but tonight when I read Sarah's line, "God has made me laugh, and all who hear will also laugh with me," (Gen.21:6) I did.  I chuckled.  I felt a little joy dance in me like a quickening of new life.  Despite the discouragement and bitterness and disappointment this fallen world handed Sarah... and me, God has kept His promise.  The most unlikely of all:  God in the flesh.   And He will keep His promise to make me new.  One day I will laugh with joy like Sarah at the scandalous grace that has made me a son of God.  Now I laugh a little.  But then I will belly roll I think... after I've gotten up from being on my face for at least a thousand years. 

I might be a little Eeyoreish now, but then I will be a Tigger! And even now, a little bounce rises up in me as I think about what He has done and what He has yet to do.  With God, nothing will be impossible!



Popular posts from this blog

eyes on the Author- the every morning struggle to walk by faith

I don't wake up full of vision and motivation.  Actually, what motivates me most is the idea that my french press and single-origin coffee from Guatemala are just minutes away from awaking my senses with it's warm, toasty aroma.  And on those days when I get my stiff, puffy-eyed body out of bed and make my way to the cabinet to prep the press with my favorite coffee and find we're out, I feel great motivation to get dressed and drive to the local store so I can hurry up and get back home before too much time has passed and get my coffee going.

Basically, coffee motivates me to get up in the morning.

Mixed in the grogginess between eyes open and that first cup of coffee I remember who I am.

I am not my own.  I am a Christian.  The weight of meaning in that word falls on me like gravity on the fledgling attempts of a young eagle to fly every morning.

I feel myself falling.  Falling. Squawking out a cry, "Help!  Help Lord!  I am yours. Let me hear your loving kindness…

post anesthesia thoughts

(has nothing to do with the post, just a pretty pic i took a long time ago)
I'm not going to over think this post too much.  I had minor surgery today and am still feeling drunk on leftover anesthesia/fentanyl/percocet.  Consider yourself and the three other people reading this warned.
In the past few weeks I've been listening to podcasts from writers, reading articles about blogging and freelance writing, etc.  In one of those I was admonished to write something daily.  Be it a blog post, a journal entry, a poem... something.  Because writers don't just think about writing, they write.  I think my pastor said or wrote that once too.  It struck me then, and when I read this lady's article.  I am a writer.  Not a known writer.  Not the best writer.  But I enjoy writing and I just process life better when I'm writing.  But when I set out to write something, especially publicly, I sometimes step in the quicksand of self-analyzing and get stuck there.  And then I don&#…

An Unlikely 23 Years

Wedding Day- Sept.4, 1993
Connor's birthday- April 1, 2003
During our first separation and pregnancy with Ryland- November 2004
Seeking a new start in Arizona all together- October 2005
 Second separation March 2010
Still together on a desert trail- Spring 2015
Today has been a tough day, emotionally.

Twenty three years ago today I made a vow before God and about 100 family and friends to take James as my husband, to have and to hold from that day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, till death do us part.

Those are some serious promises.  Better, worse, richer and poorer, sickness and health have all been part of these 23 years.  Honestly, most of it has been hard.  We weren't a very likely match at 19 and 21.  He from the big city, me from a small town.  His dad a pharmacist, mine a log truck driver.  We met in a child development class, taking pre-reqs for nursing.  He hated it.  I loved it.  He had long hair and torn jeans and l…