The night before the night shift

Twas the night before my first night shift in postpartum in years and I'm trying not to think about it. As I was driving earlier today, trying to sort out my thoughts and the knot in my stomach and that queasy feeling, it hit me, "All those rules you need to remember, they hang on the law of Christ." All the hospital rules, and policies and procedures and computer programs... when I think about them I feel nauseous and overwhelmed. But when I pause and breath in the truth: I have Christ. All that I need to do to will come as I love my neighbor as myself and bear one another's burdens, fulfilling the law of Christ.

Stress happens.  You can be the calmest, coolest, most collected person on the planet, but moving, living in a construction zone with a frustrated and tired handyman DIYing it, starting a new job, and facing the start of a new school year will take its toll on your body.  Or at least it will mine.  And its a trap to fall for the comfort foods, fast foods and other stuff you can eat that makes you feel better for a little bit.  Or at least its a trap for me.  Everyday for the past two weeks my hands have been swelling and this week I've been getting sharp shooting pains in my hands/knuckles/fingers when I grip something.  To the point I couldn't even pick up a half gallon of milk or my purse.  It's better today.  I can grip things normally, but my right hand throbs. My body does weird things with stress, sugar and flour.

There is a semblance of order in the house, this side of the staircase anyway.  If you walk around the corner you'd think you were in a different house.  So as long as I stay on this side, we're good.

I'm fighting the dark cloud that looms over me right now.  It seems to come back when I'm sleep deprived, under a heavier than usual load of stress and eating an American-sized portion of sugar and flour.   I'm fighting with good, godly sisters holding up my arms, {Being genuine with one another.  I think in part that's at least some of what it means to,  "...confess your sins one to another that you may be healed," and "... bear one another's burdens."} casting my cares upon Him because He cares for me, and recalling out loud the promise that He is working all things together for good for me, to conform me to the image of His Son.

All things.  For good.  To make me more like the Son.

Worth it.  Totally worth it!

Quieted,

Sheila

Moving, Day 3

I had quite the scare this evening at our new place.

When you're moving into a house with concrete floors and remodeling underway, things are covered in dust and debris and its hard to know what to do with your stuff.  I mean, I don't want to move anything into a room where piles of concrete dust and tacking nails from carpet that had been pulled up and pieces of drywall are laying around everywhere.  So I did my best to clean up- sweep, shop vac and pick up debris.

The glass shower doors from the downstairs shower were resting against the wall in the hall, so I picked one of them up to move it into the laundry room.

This is what it looked like when I picked it up:

This is what it looked like after it exploded in my hands before I even sat it down in the laundry room.

Considering that I was showered with glass, I felt protected and thankful that I walked away with a superficial laceration on my finger.

James got more done on the shower upstairs.  A man is supposed to come with the cultured marble slabs on Friday to finish the job.

Almost all the work James has paid someone to help him with on this house- the septic install, garage door repair and automatic door opener install, and shower slabs- has come through Craigslist.  Craigslist has turned out to be a pretty good resource for this move.

We have much more to do.  It will get done, and we'll be tired.

I got my badge at today's orientation at the hospital.  I was supposed to meet with the director of my department, but it turns out, there is no director currently in that department.  Not sure what to think of that.  The unit secretary who gave me my packet and said she would text me in a day or so with my schedule for next week, when I will actually shadow a nurse on night's shift, was very nice though.

I have a hard time not obsessing about work issues.  When I'm not working as a nurse, I thoroughly enjoy the domestic business of being a homemaker and give myself to it gladly.  But when I am working as a nurse, I find the hours, and sometimes days before and after keep my mind busy with thoughts.  What ifs.  Scenarios. Concerns. Anxieties.  I'm fighting to keep those anxious thoughts running.  Being busy with the stuff of moving helps.  But most of all, I find myself casting all those cares on my Lord, because He cares for me.  It's not good to be overwhelmed with anxious thoughts, but it is good to cast all those cares on the One who searches and knows my anxious thoughts already.

Quieted,

Sheila