Skip to main content

Casting Cares

(The first year that he's taller than the tree. Tummy flop.)

I have a lot on my mind. A lot of people and circumstances. I was climbing the stairs earlier, attempting to just carry on with my "normal" daily activities and the weight of all these cares brought me to my knees right there. I had let out a few exhaling prayer-sighs through the morning, but I just couldn't take it anymore, I needed to stop, right there, and just cry and call out and cast all my cares upon the One who cares for me- the only One who can do anything about any of it.

I'm very thankful for a pastor who would teach the Word of God, and exhort us not to complain about the culture we live in but to be a light of the gospel in this seemingly ever-darkening society. I'm so glad he would recognize, and call us to recognize, the treasure and responsibility God has given us in our children and in teaching them His word.

I went to a dinner last night with some families from Pathway and my burden to pray was enlarged. A husband and wife are separated across the world from their young child due to an illness. The hearts of moms and dads confessed worry over our children and the choices they'll make in the pressures of the world they live.

A niece writes a public cry of a teenage girl's heart on Facebook- a teenage girl tired of hanging in there. 

My sons grow up in a divided house and I chose this road.

I find resistance and the toying with the thought of vengeance at the bottom of my wife-well rather than a calm and confident spirit that hopes in God. And just when I cry out, "Oh God! I'm empty and all I find is this anger in me…" I hear a spring of calm and quiet trust bubbling up in me and I remember the scriptures and how He is a covenant keeping God and my hope is renewed.

I hear the sound of the peculiar mark of majesty, the sound of Christ-like submission that is a unique identifier of true Christians, and I want it. I know it comes out of confidence, out of knowing who you are in Christ, not out of fear. I know it comes out of following the Master who I am not greater than, not bondage to a tyrannical, angry God. It has nothing to do with rights or superiority and has everything to do with being like Christ.

I long for my kids to see the power of God in their lives. I want them to see the God who changes the hearts of men. I want them to see that He really does this!  He really does redeem sinful people!  He really does change peoples lives for His glory!

I'm concerned for my dad.

I want to reach the children at Pathway and the children in my neighborhood for Christ. I want to glorify God at my job and in my neighborhood and in my house.

Sigh. Deep breath.


Attend to me, and answer me; I am restless in my complaint and I moan... Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he hears my voice. He redeems my soul in safety from the battle that I wage, for many are arrayed against me. God will give ear and humble them, he who is enthroned from of old, Selah because they do not change and do not fear God... Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. - Psalm 55:2,17-19, 22


 Quieted,
Sheila

Popular posts from this blog

eyes on the Author- the every morning struggle to walk by faith

I don't wake up full of vision and motivation.  Actually, what motivates me most is the idea that my french press and single-origin coffee from Guatemala are just minutes away from awaking my senses with it's warm, toasty aroma.  And on those days when I get my stiff, puffy-eyed body out of bed and make my way to the cabinet to prep the press with my favorite coffee and find we're out, I feel great motivation to get dressed and drive to the local store so I can hurry up and get back home before too much time has passed and get my coffee going.

Basically, coffee motivates me to get up in the morning.

Mixed in the grogginess between eyes open and that first cup of coffee I remember who I am.

I am not my own.  I am a Christian.  The weight of meaning in that word falls on me like gravity on the fledgling attempts of a young eagle to fly every morning.

I feel myself falling.  Falling. Squawking out a cry, "Help!  Help Lord!  I am yours. Let me hear your loving kindness…

An Unlikely 23 Years

Wedding Day- Sept.4, 1993
Connor's birthday- April 1, 2003
During our first separation and pregnancy with Ryland- November 2004
Seeking a new start in Arizona all together- October 2005
 Second separation March 2010
Still together on a desert trail- Spring 2015
Today has been a tough day, emotionally.

Twenty three years ago today I made a vow before God and about 100 family and friends to take James as my husband, to have and to hold from that day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, till death do us part.

Those are some serious promises.  Better, worse, richer and poorer, sickness and health have all been part of these 23 years.  Honestly, most of it has been hard.  We weren't a very likely match at 19 and 21.  He from the big city, me from a small town.  His dad a pharmacist, mine a log truck driver.  We met in a child development class, taking pre-reqs for nursing.  He hated it.  I loved it.  He had long hair and torn jeans and l…

Burned chicken, my story and Israel

It's been an interesting day.



 I'm sitting here trying to get a hold on how I nearly burned down the covered patio by barbecuing bone-in chicken breasts while I planned and prepped other things in the kitchen. I know time can get away from me sometimes, but I tell ya I was in here for 30 minutes and I set the burners on low!

I probably shouldn't post today's attempt at making something real on my new recipe blog. Or maybe I should. Keeping it real. Real, even if it is burned, leads to trust.

Like standing in front of a congregation of missed-the-mark makers like me (many of whom I don't know), telling my charred story, knowing it'll be recorded, knowing my family will be listening. It's a burnt offering, my homologeo. A sum of all that I can put in appropriate words at this time offered up to the Refiner's fire who's been keeping me real through it all.

A very dear person to me asked why Jews and Christians don't agree about Jesus recently.…