Mothers, Kings, Spider Webs and Arrogance

WARNING: HEAVY POST!  I have to get some things off my chest.

"Hezekiah the son of Ahaz, king of Judah, began to reign. He was twenty-five years old when he began to reign, and he reigned twenty-nine years in Jerusalem. His mother's name was Abi the daughter of Zehariah.  And he did what was right in the eyes of the LORD." - 2 Kings 18:2

"Manasseh was twelve years old when he began to reign, and he reigned fifty-five years in Jerusalem.  His mother's name was Hephzibah.  And he did what was evil in the sight of the LORD..." -2 Kings 21:1-2

"Josiah was eight years old when he began to reign, and he reigned thirty-one years in Jerusalem.  His mother's name was Jedidah... And he did what was right in the eyes of the LORD..." -2 Kings 22:1-2

A mother can change the course of an entire nation.  A mother is one of the most powerful and influential people in the world!  And all power is given, and taken, from Almighty God.  What a high and amazing calling we've been given as servants of Christ to be mothers!

Maybe one of the greatest lies of feminism is that motherhood is slavery or drudgery or a waste of talent and power.  Mothers stand in a position of power at least as great as kings and presidents... they are the molders of kings and presidents.  Not that these verses are about mothers.  And not that mothers are to be worshipped (feminism can swing the other way too).  God saw fit to include the names of the mothers of some kings who effected radical change on their nation for good or evil.  If He saw fit to include it, I think I should pay attention.

Each child is responsible for their own actions before God alone, and his mother is responsible for her actions in molding the future leader of a nation before God alone.

I hate pornography!  It's a drug more powerful and more destructive than cocaine and heroin combined!  Apart from the moral putridness of it, this science should be enough to cause alarm for us residents of a pornified culture. If I could champion a social cause, the obliteration of pornography would be one of them!  Hezekiah removed similar "high places" in his day.  Maybe God would raise up a son of this mere momma to do the same!  It's poison that has personally damaged my psyche and the psyche of many.

You know it's funny to me how we are.  Actually it's not funny at all, it's a horror!

I love Christ's righteousness and I hate man's.  You know why?  Christ's righteousness is unchanging!  It's solid.  You know what's right.  It doesn't change and have a 5000 page legal-lingo code full of loop-holes to describe it.  Christ's righteousness is pure!  It's totally free of perversion or filth.  It doesn't say something is evil for you, but for me it's ok as long as no one gets hurt.  Man's righteousness is a tangled web full of trap doors and booby traps and poisonous spiders.

For example:

On one floor of one building a newly forming human life is being fought for with thousands of dollars of medical technology and specialized doctors and nurses, while on another floor, in the same building, that same newly forming human life is be burned alive in his mother's womb or slowly ripped, limb from limb.  I hate man's righteousness!

I've worked in women's health as a nurse since 2001.  NEVER, never, does a physician have to kill an unborn baby to save the life of a mother!  NEVER!!  But ALWAYS, always, a physician must DELIVER an unborn baby to save the life of a mother.  If the unborn baby is unable to live outside the womb, every measure is taken to give life an opportunity to take hold, and a mother an opportunity to grieve.  The prescription for a pregnant woman who's life is in danger due to her pregnancy is always the delivery of the baby.  Never the killing of the baby.

And then we wonder why the news is full of stories of young women killing their newly born children.  Why should she be prosecuted when in a sterile building in her town the same act could be done as a "right" and called a medical procedure?

I hate man's ideas of what's right!

I love Christ's idea of what's right:

"Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea." -Matthew 18:5-6

A society, a person who seeks to preserve life, may loose many a life, nevertheless the honor of Imago Dei is upheld and the health of the person and society grows.

In case you or a loved one is toxic with the poison of pornography, here are a few resources I have found very helpful:

1.  Encouragement and Truth

2.  Practical Gospel Help

3.  Accountability Help

"I do not take this for granted.  This is most remarkable.  That I would be given the privilege to address the most influential people in the world... A woman on her knees, sways more in this nation than a thousand three-piece suited, Wallstreet jerks." -John Piper

“Men look at pornography out of an arrogant desire to see women in a way that God does not allow. They show arrogant defiance to God's commands, rejecting the delight of sexual intimacy in marriage and deciding for themselves what they believe is better — looking at naked women in porn. They show arrogant disregard for God's call to selfless marital love. They show arrogant derision for the female actresses whom they should be seeking to respect as women who need to hear the good news of Jesus. They show arrogant disdain for their own children by hiding their sin and inviting the enemy into their home and their marriage. They show arrogant disrespect toward all those who would be scandalized if their sin were known. The root problem with men who look at porn is not neediness — it is arrogance.” (110)
“Until God is your chief concern — until sinning against him is what makes your heart break — you will never turn the corner.” 
- Finally Free, Fighting For Purity With The Power of Grace by Heath Lambert 


A day of unexpected events

We did not go to Payson as a family, as planned for this Wednesday my husband took off work.  Instead, we bought a riding lawn mower off Craigslist and I traded Jed Clampett, my 7 month old Nubian buck for a 7 month old Nubian doe off Craigslist. And, most scandalizing of all, I took my boys to an arcade for an hour!

I'm bummed we didn't go to Payson, but seeing my husband with his John Deere hat on, riding his steal-of-a-deal John Deere X320, and getting a nice doe to breed with my buck made me happy.

I am just loving having goats!  Jed and Duke were fun and playful.  I was a little sad to see Jed go. Darla, our new doe, is so small and sweet.  Duke and Darla.  Sounds right.  Can't wait to have kids!!!!

Expectation is a problematic thing.  Life would be dull if I didn't have times of anticipating something I desire.  But with expectation comes the high likelihood of disappointment.   The solution, I think, is not to exclude anticipation or expectation, but to be willing to receive whatever comes as for my good.

When you wear the weed of impatience in your heart instead of the flower Acceptance-with-Joy, you will always find your enemies get an advantage over you.” - Hannah Hurnard, Hinds Feet on High Places 


Tidbits and a spontaneous poem on my longed-for miracle

I watched Contagion last night. Seemed an appropriate way to end a day spent sleeping away some kind of virus that left me so dizzy and head-achy, I couldn't get up for more than 30 minutes.  It was my first night calling in sick at work, something I don't like to do.

Today I have a sinus headache, but feel much better, so, since it's fall break and my boys were gnawing at the bit to go do something fall-break like, I took them to Lake Pleasant. They set out to the lake to catch themselves a fish or two while I set up a couple of chairs under an overgrown desert shrub of some kind and read a good portion of a couple books. After a few hours, they came back with a half dozen craw dad's, a tangled fishing line, no fish and a bruise on one kid's forehead from said rock thrown by said brother. Time to go home.

I read the story of Elijah vs. the prophets of Baal today in my morning reading.  I always come away from that story wishing I could do that.  And then I remember James:

 "Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth."

And Jesus:

 "But he answered them, "An evil and adulterous generation seeks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah."

And I hang my head and say what He says, "Your motives are evil.  Do you want Me or just my gifts? Do you want to be proven right in front of your enemies or do you want Me to be seen as right in their eyes?"

There is a sign much greater than calling down fire on a water-logged barbecue pit:  Bending down to love another, with understanding, out of a heart that is overflowing in love.

Even more impossible than fire consuming a pit full of water
Is my heart ablaze with agape for another

Utter dependence is exposed
The miraculous is required
I have a need more impossible than heavenly fire

But with God all things are possible
No amount of self-denial will twist His arm
No ritual, no moan, no cry, no religious charm

Only confidence in the power from above
To set ablaze in me the Spirit-soaked fire of His love


An exercise in getting it out there

Above are pictures from an album I got at my mom's.  They're stuck together, and are two pics from some of my most vivid middle-school memories.  Top left: Last minute science project work with my dad.  We built a circuit, due the next morning.  I'm still a procrastinator.  The one with the pig:  My best friend in 8th grade, Delcina, lived in the country.  Her parents offered to let me keep and raise a pig to sell at the fair in 4-H.  One of the best experiences of my childhood.  Her name was Piggie-Sue and I won 1st place in showmanship.  I made a profit of $300 on her and saved it towards buying my first car.

The following is an exercise (begun yesterday) in getting some writing done.  It comes in no particular order.

The greatest lie of divorce is that you can escape. You can leave it all behind. You can start over. You can have a new life. It's a lie. There is no escape. There is no starting over. There is only mangled pieces of torn parts you have to daily mend and tend to and deal with lest you become wholly infected and septic and poisoned.

I learn about myself in looking at the reflections in my kids. In Ryland I see my wonder of things and creation and my tendency to be lazy and procrastinate and be easily distracted.  We are very curious people. We greatly enjoy learning and studying creatures and laws of nature and how things work and what they mean in the grand scheme of things.

In Connor I see my bent towards the snare of the fear of man and an adventurous spirit... I want a jeep too Connor! Connor and I are both introverts. We re-energize when we're alone. Ryland re-energizes when he's in a group. He hates being alone!

 Today at Ryland's parent teacher conference I was blessed to hear that his teacher recognizes the character I seen in him. She said he's very social, a leader, assertive and creative. I agree! Connor blushed during his entire parent/teacher conference and practically held his breath the entire time.  I am just like that!  I have to make myself take deep breaths, remember to focus on the other person, not what the other person thinks of me, remind myself to play to an audience of One and press on.

I hope to teach the boys how to deal with their weaknesses and strengths using the grace and mercy supplied them in Christ, first by being totally reliant on that same mercy and grace myself!

I want to learn how to paint. I think I'll pick up a kit of some kind. Probably should start with Crayola.

The more I expose myself to the shades of doctrinal perspective in the worldwide and historic Christian church, I realize my convictions place me in a category outside the circle of the congregation I worship with in non-critical issues.  But I like it that way.  The more I listen to the various perspectives, be it on baptism, or predestination, or the inerrancy of scripture, and many others, the more I believe none of us have an inerrant description of the whole doctrine of Christ as revealed in scripture.  That doesn't mean I don't have the courage of my convictions, it just means I'm convinced that loving people in the body of Christ that differ from some of my views is more important than finding people that share my perspective.

Today the government shut down... oh my gosh!  I'm still breathing, writing, doing dishes and driving a car!  How could I ever get along?  If there's a government shut down, shouldn't that mean the people in DC arguing over paying bills should go home without pay until they can agree to pay their bills?

I watched some of the U.N. General Assembly this morning.  I felt like I was watching something verrry important.  Netanyahu quoted from Amos and spoke like a strong, determined leader.  The Iranian representative sounded like a bully acting like a fussy baby whiner from the playground, pointing his finger crying, "Teacher!  He hit me!" after he finished threatening to knock the lights out of a kid half his size.

As I watched these world leaders in a room, I thought, "These are not descendants of apes that resulted from collision of matter in random, chance processes over time!  These are the 'gods' of Psalm 82.  Ruins of Imago Dei ones, nevertheless Imago Dei.  And in their brokenness and fallenness they image their Creator God who rules them.  They have been given power by Him and He takes their power away!


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