Consistently inconsistent

Playin' in the rain
Mud is fun!
They said they were making a trap door for a bobcat :)
Look mom!  I'm sinking!
Goof off
Jack.  Our new pet bearded dragon.

I know, writers write.  But, inconsistent bloggers, blog inconsistently.  Especially when they start working night shift.

It's 1:25am on my day off and I'm trying to stay up so tomorrow I'll sleep late in preparation for staying up all night at the hospital.

The first two shifts were interesting.  I remember why I didn't miss hospital nursing.  I also recall what I love about caring for newborns and their mom's and families.  It's not all Leave It To Beaver out there.  In fact, I don't think there's a single Leave It To Beaver family having babies anymore.  But it's great opportunity to teach, encourage, value life, and be a blessing.

I don't want to be a complainer.  I want other people to leave working with me as a nurse feeling uplifted, and helped, not criticized and dumped on.  It's a shame how many people come to work complaining about the work they have to do.

James has got most of the upstairs bathroom finished.  Just needs drywall, paint and a shower door.  Next project on the list is knocking out a wall separating the upstairs bedroom from the living room.  That will create a larger living room and reduce the house from being a 4 bedroom to being a 3 bedroom.

I read this today in a daily Bible reading plan I'm working through:

But Sihon the king of Heshbon would not let us pass by him, for the LORD your God hardened his spirit and made his heart obstinate, that he might give him into your hand, as he is this day. - Dueteronomy 2:30 (emphasis added by me)

It caught me.  God hardened him so that God could give him into his people's hand.  God made it hard for his people, so that God could be the one who very obviously gave them victory over such hardness.

Hmmm.  Something to think about next time I wish someone or something wasn't so hard.



The night before the night shift

Twas the night before my first night shift in postpartum in years and I'm trying not to think about it. As I was driving earlier today, trying to sort out my thoughts and the knot in my stomach and that queasy feeling, it hit me, "All those rules you need to remember, they hang on the law of Christ." All the hospital rules, and policies and procedures and computer programs... when I think about them I feel nauseous and overwhelmed. But when I pause and breath in the truth: I have Christ. All that I need to do to will come as I love my neighbor as myself and bear one another's burdens, fulfilling the law of Christ.

Stress happens.  You can be the calmest, coolest, most collected person on the planet, but moving, living in a construction zone with a frustrated and tired handyman DIYing it, starting a new job, and facing the start of a new school year will take its toll on your body.  Or at least it will mine.  And its a trap to fall for the comfort foods, fast foods and other stuff you can eat that makes you feel better for a little bit.  Or at least its a trap for me.  Everyday for the past two weeks my hands have been swelling and this week I've been getting sharp shooting pains in my hands/knuckles/fingers when I grip something.  To the point I couldn't even pick up a half gallon of milk or my purse.  It's better today.  I can grip things normally, but my right hand throbs. My body does weird things with stress, sugar and flour.

There is a semblance of order in the house, this side of the staircase anyway.  If you walk around the corner you'd think you were in a different house.  So as long as I stay on this side, we're good.

I'm fighting the dark cloud that looms over me right now.  It seems to come back when I'm sleep deprived, under a heavier than usual load of stress and eating an American-sized portion of sugar and flour.   I'm fighting with good, godly sisters holding up my arms, {Being genuine with one another.  I think in part that's at least some of what it means to,  "...confess your sins one to another that you may be healed," and "... bear one another's burdens."} casting my cares upon Him because He cares for me, and recalling out loud the promise that He is working all things together for good for me, to conform me to the image of His Son.

All things.  For good.  To make me more like the Son.

Worth it.  Totally worth it!


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