Showing posts with label Christ's salvation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christ's salvation. Show all posts

Meanwhile, back at the farm: Journal of a Milk Maid Day 3 {and thoughts on Nahum}


(Daylight and Daisy) 



(Daisy, the more timid of the two doelings, warming up to me and my hat)


(Daisy and Darla (the momma goat) 


(Daisy) 

I thought it was neat that both my doelings have these pretty markings on their backs.   They both have a black strip down their spine and star of white on the black stripe.  


(Daylight)

OK, I know this isn't my usual form on this blog.  Actual this blog has been anything but usual, regular, for a long time so I guess anything goes.  If you're over me and my goats already you might wanna avoid this blog for awhile.

I'm in caprine school.   And I'm loving it!

This is my third day milking Darla.  I'm finding that from the moment I wake up at 5:45 to milk her, my mind is on the care of these beautiful, fun creatures God has blessed me with, which are now producing a high quality whole food product for me and my household.  Bonus!

Last night I separated the kids from Darla, putting them in a large dog kennel.   You're supposed to keep them separate for 12 hours and then milk the doe.  But my girl doesn't last for 12 hours.  I pen them up at 8 pm and by 5:45 am she's screaming for relief.  Yesterday I milked her first while the kids screamed for breakfast.  This morning, I let them nurse for a few minutes (Actually only about a minute... that's about as long as Darla will let them go for before she seems annoyed and jumps over them.  But that's another subject I'm investigating.) and then took Darla to the milk stand.

I've put my milk stand (which my very nice neighbors are lending to me since they no longer have goats in milk) in our garage.  It's the most dust free area we have on our little "farm" aka dustbowl. (We are in the middle of getting the property laser leveled so that we can put up fencing and irrigate, so for now we have an acre plus of fine dirt blowing around.)  Walking Darla to the milk stand is not too much work although she is still a bit reluctant and not used to me handling her on a lead.  Getting her up on the milk stand is still slap stick comedy.  Picture a six-foot-tall, just-out-of-bed, blonde woman trying to hoist her black, dusty, protesting, approximately-100-pound Nubian onto a milk stand.

Once I get her up there though everything is just fine.  The kids are playing around at my feet, exploring the garage, my morning playlist is singing to me in the background and Darla and I start the milking process.

I did quite a bit of research about how to milk, when to milk, how often to milk, what equipment to use, etc.  As I said before, I was getting too perfectionistic about it and finally just went to Walmart.  This woman's blog was/is very helpful and is the model I'm using for my first time dairy goat raising experience.  Folowing her lead, and the info I got from Fias Co Farms on cleaning the udder and teats, my morning milking is starting to take form.   If you happened across this blog and you're looking to find info on raising a dairy goat or milking a goat I highly recommend The Prairie Homestead and Fias Co Farms.

This morning I got a little under a quart of milk.  I think for one 5-10 minute milking a day we're doing pretty good.

I am finding that there's definitely a widespread thought that goat milk is gross.  And I get it.  I really thought it would be off tasting myself.  I guess I figured I'd make cheese with it so I wasn't too worried if I didn't like the taste of the milk.  I so wish I could give out a sample to all the skeptics in my life.  My son Ryland, who is one of the biggest food/flavor/texture critics I know, loves it!  It's sweet and creamy, but not too creamy.  It has the consistency of whole cow's milk and leaves no funny aftertaste (which cow's milk does for me).  If you like milk at all I guarantee you would love fresh goat milk.   I'm sure the goat's milk you can buy in the health food store has a funny flavor because of the process and time on the shelf.  But the stuff in my fridge is delicious!  And it's good for you!  Seriously.  Have you ever read all the health benefits of goat's milk?

We aren't big milk drinkers in our family, but having a source of milk in our own backyard where I know what went into the milk and exactly how it was processed makes me feel really good about the milk we will be drinking in the future.

So today was a productive day and it's only 1:40 in the afternoon.  A quart of milk.  Hooves trimmed. Coat brushed.  Tail cleaned.  Underside and udders got a haircut (I'd rather not have falling hair in the pail of milk).  Pens cleaned.  Un-used pen measured for feedlot panels to go up to make room for mom and her growing doelings.   An hour's worth of research on breeding, registration, record keeping, grooming, milking, milk handling, cheese making,  ear-tatooing and feeding done.

I read Nahum today.  Have you ever read Nahum in the Bible?  Take away:  No one can stand before God and withstand his rightful indignation against evil (which every single one of us are infected with).  But God has provided Himself in the form of His Son to be our refuge.  We can't stand before his wrath but we can run to him and hide in him from it.

If this rubs you the wrong way, if you have a hard time with the thought that God has "indignation" towards you because of your sin, think about how you would feel towards say, your spouse, if he/she took your money, betrayed your trust, was unfaithful, was irritated by your presence and then was offended at you for being angry with them.

God is the perfect spouse.  He's the perfect person.  He's good.  Always.  He is not in the tiniest way perverse or unjust or corrupt or selfish.  He is love and he is just.  He created us and we are made in His image to display His character and magnify who He is. But instead we pervert His image in us.  We malign His character.  We putrefy who He is.  We perverse His goodness.  And then we deny that He even is.  We elevate ourselves as god and have not the least bit of desire for the One who made us and loves us so much as to not just wipe us out and start over, but rather send His own Son to bear all the weight of His indignation in our place.

God, of all people, has the right to be angry about the state of the human race and human heart.  Just one glimpse at the news, one sampling of history at any point in time is enough to make any one of us shake our heads in despair at the terrors of the world we live in.  Is there good?  Yes!  Oh yes!  Neighbors helping neighbors, friendships, the love of a husband, the joy of children, the taste of a good meal, even goats.  But these are the evidence that the good grace of God is preserving and keeping us from total rottenness, like salt keeps meat from decay.   These are graces to be thankful for and enjoyed, but they are not the diagnosis of our condition.  A person with terminal cancer may have flawless skin, a beautiful body and disposition, but inside they are dying.  Their condition is deadly even though they enjoy good things.

Our condition is deadly.  Running from God will not get you an escape from his rightful wrath.  Run to Him.  There you will find refuge.  A sure, safe place and healing from all your decay.



Quieted,
Sheila

Of barely burning embers, a bruised heart and a Beautiful Savior


I came to the end of another journal today. I've kept a journal since I was 9, and I still have all my journals from age 13 on.

Looking back is hard. And some of the reason it's hard is pride. It's flat out embarrassing looking back at some of the things I thought, wrote and did. I look back and know for sure, my God is so merciful and patient and faithful to me, though I have been a liar, a thief, a gossip, sexually immoral, quick to trade Jesus in for a man who would make me feel good, and much more.  I've been a coward and a complainer, but Christ has been to me the God-Man, drawing a line in the sand, lifting my head, withholding his right to condemn me, and making me want to go and sin no more!

I'm tired of fighting sin!  I long for the day when my thoughts aren't a battle from the moment I open my eyes and depression doesn't suck me in like a black hole.  But, by the grace of God, I'll keep fighting the good fight of faith in Christ.

There are so many hurts from the past.  Oh, that I would see with eyes of faith; that I would see God's promises kept and Christ's beauty forged in the fires of my life and the aroma of His goodness emanating from my brokenness.  Yet, I find at 39, at the end of another journal (one that started as a determination to keep the promise of my youth in marriage and to pray for my husband), that I am a smoldering flame where I thought there was fire.  I am a bruised reed when I thought I was a pillar.

And I lift my trembling hands and bend my weak knees and cry out tired prayers and rest all my hope on the One who doesn't put out irritating smoky embers like me or crush cowardly broken reeds like the one I find I am after life's trials thus far.

I wanted to be a "woman of valor", but peering past the obviousness of the condition I find myself in, I see my Lord stirring a flame and splinting what's broken, and a long way off, I catch a glimpse of what I long for:  to see Him face to face, and to be made like him, finally fully redeemed.

So I press on.  Looking back so I can recall His faithfulness despite my folly, but then forgetting what's behind, because He's given me today.  And it's a long obedience in the same direction with the promise that He who began a good work in me, will be faithful to complete it compelling me to put one foot in front of the other.

A bruised reed He will not break, And smoking flax He will not quench; He will bring forth justice for truth. -Isaiah 42:3

Quieted,
Sheila

My last post in one sentence

Jesus is really the only One who can condemn you and the only One who can really save you.

Quieted,
Sheila

I believe


I believe that there is one God, Creator of all things, who made people the crown of His creation. Living works of art in His own image. Loved, and therefore given the freedom to choose, we chose our own way and everything went terribly wrong.

I believe all of history is really HIS-STORY, the story of God redeeming with His own humbled, and sacrificed life, all that we destroyed- including ourselves.

I believe God was made into flesh and walked a mile in our shoes. I believe He knows us better than we know ourselves. For His awareness was not clouded by the poison of choosing wrongly. He experienced the fallen-ness of the mess we've made and loved us in the midst of it.

I believe He is the Savior of the world. I believe He is life and there is no other life. I believe one day He will make all things new.

I believe He loves me personally, knows me intimately, and will use all the messes I and others have made in my life for good to show His-story. For I believe I was made for Him. I am not my own, I am His masterpiece, His work of art, for His pleasure and by His great love and kindness I am a vessel by which He may shine.

I believe all my tears are precious to Him and He would have come just for me.

I believe all your tears are precious to Him too and He would have come just for you!

I believe no message is more vital to our children's souls than the message of Christ and His great love which He has for them!

I believe that even my believing is a gracious gift from God.

I trust you Lord! Have Your way in me! Thank You King of all kings for coming to the most humble of places and enduring such opposition just to redeem me!

I am not ashamed to believe in such a wonderful God as You!

Those who believe Him discover that God is true.- John 3:33


Quieted,
Sheila

Who would have thought?

1 Who believes what we've heard and seen? Who would have thought God's saving power would look like this? 2 The servant grew up before God - a scrawny seedling, a scrubby plant in a parched field. There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look. 3 He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away. We looked down on him, thought he was scum.

4 But the fact is, it was our pains he carried - our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us. We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures. 5 But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him - our sins! He took the punishment, and that made us whole. Through his bruises we get healed. 6 We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost. We've all done our own thing, gone our own way. And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong, on him, on him. 7 He was beaten, he was tortured, but he didn't say a word. Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered and like a sheep being sheared, he took it all in silence. 8 Justice miscarried, and he was led off - and did anyone really know what was happening? He died without a thought for his own welfare, beaten bloody for the sins of my people. 9 They buried him with the wicked, threw him in a grave with a rich man, Even though he'd never hurt a soul or said one word that wasn't true.

10 Still, it's what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain. The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he'd see life come from it - life, life, and more life. And God's plan will deeply prosper through him. 11 Out of that terrible travail of soul, he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it. Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant, will make many "righteous ones," as he himself carries the burden of their sins. 12 Therefore I'll reward him extravagantly - the best of everything, the highest honors - Because he looked death in the face and didn't flinch, because he embraced the company of the lowest. He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many, he took up the cause of all the black sheep. - The Message Isaiah 53



So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Standing at the cross of my Captain

"Therefore we also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power, that the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ." -2 Thess.1:11-12 NKJV


There Private Ryan stood, an old man now, before the cross at the grave of his dead Captain.

Captain John H. Miller had given up his life to find and save Private Ryan years before and now he stood before Captain Miller's gravestone trembling.

He wasn't sure he could even come back to the place where Miller gave his life. He wondered if he had led a worthy life. A good life. A life that said Captain Miller's life wasn't sacrificed in vain. He had been given freed by Captain Miller, but that freedom came at a mighty price. He knew it. It weakened his ability to stand, but it also motivated him to honor the sacrifice with his life.

This is EXACTLY what happens to me every time I stand before the cross of my Captain. The Captain of all captains.

He isn't dead, but His cross reminds me that He had to suffer and die a terrible death and that His sacrifice was more costly than I can ever repay. I can't earn what He did for me, but while I stand remembering the cost, I tremble and desire to live a life that honor's His sacrifice. I owe my life to HIM. It's not about earning salvation, it's about living a life that honors the One who died to save me.

That's why I can't indulge my flesh without overwhelming shame. That's why I MUST teach my kids the truth.

I want to be able to look at the people in my life and know they'll be able to say my life honored the cross of my Captain. I want them to see His life laid down causing me to live. But even more than the assesment of the people in my life is what God would say about me. Would He say I've lived a life worthy, a life that honors Christ?

Unlike Ryan, my hope is not that my life will ever be enough... I know my life will never be enough. I know I can never earn what my Captain has done for me, but His cross compels me to live a life that honors Him.






So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Gianna Jessen- Abortion Survivor

The love of Christ for men and women... for human life comes through so beautifully and powerfully in this speech. I hadn't heard her before... all I can say is Wow! I-wanna-be-like-that-wow!

Part 1



Part 2

"Men! You are made for greatness. You are made to stand up and be men. You are made to defend women and children, not stand by and turn your head when you know murder is occuring and do nothing about it. You are not made to use women and leave us alone. You are made to be kind and great and gracious and strong and stand for something! Because men, listen to me! I am too tired to do your job!
Women. You are not made for abuse. You are not made to sit and not now your worth and your value. You are made to be fought for! Forever! So now is your moment. What sort of people are you going to be? I trust incredible. I trust, men, you will rise to the occasion. To the politicians listening, particularly to the men, I
would say this: You are made for greatness, set your politics aside. You are made to defend what is right and good. This firey young girl will stand here and say: NOW is your moment." - Gianna Jessen.

*thanks to Fade to Black for these videos

So glad He found me ,

Isaiah 51:3

Timothy Mom Thoughts: Learning about The Lamb through Passover

****WARNING! THIS POST HAS SOME IMAGES THAT YOU MIGHT FIND OFFENSIVE OF A SLAIN LAMB****
(image found here)


"1 Now the LORD gave the following instructions to Moses and Aaron while they were still in the land of Egypt... 3 Announce to the whole community that on the tenth day of this month each family just choose a lamb or a young goat for a sacrifice... 5 This animal must be a one-year-old male, either a sheep or a goat, with no physical defects. 6 "Take special care of these lambs until the evening of the fourteenth day of this first month. Then each family in the community must slaughter its lamb. 7 They are to take some of the lamb's blood and smear it on the top and sides of the doorframe of the house where the lamb will be eaten. 8 That evening everyone must eat roast lamb with bitter herbs and bread made without yeast... 14 You must remember this day forever. Each year you will celebrate it as a special festival to the LORD... 26 Then your children will ask, 'What does all this mean? What is this ceremony about?' 27 And you will reply, 'It is the celebration of the LORD's Passover... " -Exodus 12:1, 3, 5-8,14,26-27 NLT



One of the key things the Spirit has impressed upon me in my quest to teach my sons God's word is the importance of not cleaning up God's gospel into a nice flannel-graph Easter story. He's drawn me to the Old Testament as a source for what He REALLY wants to impress upon my kids' hearts.

The volume of writings which create the Old Testament speak of Jesus. And it's in the types and pictures God has drawn for us there that we really learn of Him.

I think we do our kids a disservice by sterilizing the gospel for them. When I hear about teens jumping the Christian-family-church-going ship I wonder, "Lord, have they ever trembled at Your word?"

I wonder if many of our kids grow up with our neat little stories and devotionals but they never really see the horror of God's sacrifice for them. They never really are impressed with the great price. They never really get a visual in pews, worship bands, hymnals, seeker-friendly messages, and groups for every classification under the sun.


In Moses' day, a child would see the family lamb, the perfect family lamb, laid down, throat cut, blood poured out and then wiped all over their doors. And each year, if their parents were faithful, they'd hear about the story of God's awful (in the sense of full of awe) deliverance from Egypt and they'd see a spotless lamb slaughtered as a reminder. God says seeing all this would cause their kids to ask, "Why?"

I truly believe as parents we'd quicken the fear of God in our kids (which the scripture says is the beginning of knowing the Holy One- Jesus... see Proverbs 9:10), spark true seeking of answers in them, and cause them to tremble at His word, taking seriously the gospel, if we'd take the time to regularly remember the cross of Christ with them. And I think learning through the Passover is an especially good way for our children to see the price of the cross and learn about the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.

So that's what we're doing in this house. Last year was our first Passover. It was truly covered by grace as I'm sure in every way it was less than stone-written-law-perfect, but in Spirit it was flawless and penetrating. My kids really did ask, "Why are we doing this mom?" Even my sweet husband asked why I was teaching the kids this, which gave me an awesome oppurtunity to speak the gospel of Christ to Him with joy!

This year, in preparing a little more than last year, my boys and I are studying lambs, bread and plants to help us understand the typology of Christ in the Passover even more.


One of the decisions I made was to let them see a video of a sheep being butchered (after it was dead). I know, I just lost a bunch of you. I promise it is not as graphic as you may think. After I showed this to my boys I read Isaiah 53:7 to them and talked with them about how Jesus is our Lamb who takes away our sins, and how He willingly, and silently died for us.

This left a huge impression on my boys! Boys like gross stuff anyway. Seeing the video and then talking with them about Christ's sacrifice really made them think.

Personally, I hate watching anything die! I don't even watch those videos on Animal Planet of a lion taking down a deer. I just feel it and it makes me shudder. But when it comes to seeing myself in desperated need of Jesus, I need to shudder. If I don't shudder I may not run to Him or taste of His love. I want my kids to shudder and run to Him too!

The other day my husband and I caught a piece of a documentary about animal sacrifice in religions throughout history. As I watched it I thought about how sterilized we are in America.



Our nation is so secular... our meat is purchased in neat little packages in the store without a thought to the mooing cow or bleating lamb that laid down its life so we could have a nice dinner. I thought about how its hard in the culture we live in to really grasp the cross of Christ. We don't suffer and we don't know suffering. We don't see it and if we do we try to hide it. We certainly don't want to walk our dinner down to the local butcher and watch its throat get cut and its body get chopped up and ground so we can eat. But if we did I think we'd have a much greater appreciation for the cross and the story God is trying to get across to us and to our kids through the Passover lamb.



We have such a pretty, clean, American image of Christ in our minds. But the slaughtering of a lamb, blood strewn all over a door, and blood sprinkled over priests, people and offerings... these pictures that God chose to illustrate His story and our salvation are not pretty, neat, clean or American!

I challenge you to take a look at the stories of the Old Testament, the animal sacrifices, the Passover, etc., and picture what that would be like in real life. Picture yourself sprinling blood all over everything. Picture it drying there. The stains. Would our kids ask questions if we had blood all over our doors?





Now, take a look at the One about whom all those graphic pictures were written. Read about the Lamb of God in the New Testament. How would God have you remember the fearful and amazing message of the cross? What can you do to cause your kids to ask why?

Here are some links to videos about sheep, shepherds, Our Shepherd, and even the butchering of sheep. Maybe a little study of these things as a family followed by telling them about the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world is in order?


Redeeming the time

I know I said goodbye for 2008 but...

I HAD to share this!

Lay not wait, O wicked man, against the dwelling of the righteous; spoil not his resting place: For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief. -Proverbs 24:15-16


Feeling at the bottom of my seventh fall before 6am today, I turned to a steady source of truth and found this teaching that brought me trembling to my feet again. If you have time, please go here and click on the Recent Service, Sunday December 21st message in the sidebar. I'd rather you do that, than go on reading my ramble here. But if you're still reading...

Maybe as 2008 is coming to a close, and your walk of faith with Christ has grown a year older, you find yourself even more accused than you were a year ago and see yourself as an even more wretched person than you were last year. Maybe not, but I do. It seems as this year has come to an end I'm overwhelmed by how many times I've fallen and how much damage has been caused to the reputation of the Lord in the eyes of those I love because of my sinful choices. It seems the wicked one (Satan) lays in wait against me daily... just waiting for me to fall, cause I will, so that He can spoil my resting place, the resting place of God's mercy and grace.

This morning I saw a jaded attitude in me. I saw it coming out in the look on my face and the tone of my voice and I fell to my knees in the laundry room and prayed that the Lord would help me to know how to go forward because I was so overwhelmed at the destruction my life has caused. I faintly heard His Spirit stir my heart to let go; to not lean one bit on my performance in life, but wholly lean on Jesus' redemption.

I've caused a lot of damage. I thought it was just consequential for me, not realizing that I was not only causing pain, offense and bitterness in others, but I was tearing down the reputation of our awesome God in their eyes. I hate it that I've done this!!! The very thing I've prayed, the very thing I've wanted- for the people in my life to know the Lord Jesus as their Redeemer and to worship Him- I'VE prevented by choices I've made. And oh how the enemy of my soul reminds me daily, especially as this year comes to a close, of the damage I've done. It hurts so much I nearly grow cold. But the Lord calls me to defy the enemy and rise up, standing solely on the mercy and grace shown in Christ at the cross.

He calls me to let all the weight I am still resting on my performance in life fall on Jesus. He calls me not only to rise up trusting that Christ's righteousness is enough for me, but that it is also enough for those I love, and pray for, as I regret so deeply that I've left ruins in their path to knowing Christ through my witness.

I'm pressing forward into 2009 as though I'm walking across the Grand Canyon on an invisible bridge. I can't lean any of my weight on my ability to get across, I can't lean any of my weight on my ability to get others across, I have to rest completely in the invisible promise of salvation for every step, because He who began a good work in me is able to complete it.

And I think even beyond walking on that invisible bridge of faith, God calls me to clear away the stumbling stones and clutter that I'VE CAUSED. I don't know how. I have no idea how to undo the damage I've done. I'll have to walk on Jesus' ability to make me a reconciler, restorer and rebuilder for that calling too.

Go through, go through the gates;prepare the way for the people; build up, build up the highway; clear it of stones; lift up a signal over the peoples. - Isaiah
62:10

Oh my Invisible Hope! Please strengthen my heart to trust You! Give me courage to defy the accusations of the enemy by growing in Your grace even more! Hallow Your Name in me so that in the eyes of those who've watched my life may find a witness of You they can trust too!


Redeeming the time

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