He didn't write it after feeling bad about yesterday. I hadn't laid into him or his brother for the grief they gave me yesterday. He simply ran into the card he had made at school, probably at the prompting of his teacher, while cleaning out his binder in getting ready for today's school day. It wasn't a Hallmark moment. It was a, "Oh, yeah, mom, here. I forgot to give this to you yesterday," moment as he rushed downstairs to play for a few minutes before school.
His words on the card are priceless. The flowers he drew I'm sure came out of a desire to give me something he knew I really wanted. (He's a great artist and draws great war scenes and I'm always asking him to draw me something nice for a change, like flowers. His response is usually, "Mom! Boys don't draw flowers!") I'll treasure the card as long as I live and my boys will continue to be my heart walking around outside my body. But the most priceless thing about yesterday and this morning was not the card or the Happy Mother's Day sentiments. The reality check I got this morning while reading my Bible was the most satisfying treasure of all!
"Arise, O Lord!... Deliver my soul... from men of the world whose portion is in this life. You fill their womb with treasure, they are satisfied with children, and they leave their abundance to their infants. As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness, when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness." - excerpts from Psalm 17:13,14,15
Psalm 127 says:
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.
God gives children. They are a treasure. They are a gift from God to be embraced as blessings and riches. So what's with Psalm 17?
As much as children are a treasure from the womb and gift from God, they cannot satisfy the mom, or dad, who has been awakened to the treasure of Christ and being made like him.
It is a total gift to be a mom. It is one of my greatest joys. But it is also a source of great sorrow, probably one of the greatest sorrows. And I'm glad. I'm glad there are disappointing Mother's Days and half-hearted givings of sentimental words. (Not that my son's words were half-hearted. I believe they were very sincere.) I'm glad because the painful things of motherhood give me pause. They cause me to stop and think, "Am I merely a woman of the world, satisfied with children? Or am I a woman of God, thankful for children, treasuring them as a gift and a stewardship, but satisfied only in the glorious promise of seeing my Lord face to face... and not in shame and fear, but in righteousness? To actually possess Christ's righteousness. To really be like Him! Then, oh then. Then and only then will I be fully satisfied.
Motherhood is an opportunity to taste and see that the LORD, not just having children, is good.
May our children see that our hope for satisfaction is in Christ and not feel the unbearable weight of having to be our satisfaction. May they look to us as we look to Christ.
Quieted,
Sheila
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