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Thoughts on being wasted for Christ

The Cloud of Witnesses post in reference to Watchman Nee contained a section of the book (The Normal Christian Life) which really spoke to me (the whole book did but even more this section).

The reference in what Mr. Nee was talking about in this last chapter of his book was from Mark 14:1-9:

It was now two days before the Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread. And the chief priests and the scribes were seeking how to arrest him by stealth and kill him, for they said, Not during the feast, lest there be an uproar from the people. And while he was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he was reclining at table, a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head. There were some who said to themselves indignantly, Why was the ointment wasted like that? For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor. And they scolded her. But Jesus said, 'Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you want, you can do good for them. But you will not always have me. She has done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for burial. And truly, I say to you, wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her.'

I identify with the "some" who protested that what this woman did was a waste of valuable resources that could have been used to care for the poor. Yet I also know what it is to be compelled by Christ's love in being a woman "wasting" her life on Christ in submission to her husband and training up her children.

See there's a part of me, the "good" religious, practical, part of me that says, "You could be using your gifts elsewhere and get a lot more 'bang for your buck'..."if you will. There's part of me that is always being pulled and tempted to believe that giving myself to feeding the poor or leading women in a Bible study would be so much more productive and effective, yet there's the example of my Savior who poured out His whole life to save me and set me apart for Himself and seeing that compels me to "waste" my life on Him in a way that may not be so logical.

More and more I hear me protesting, "But Lord, there's much more I could be doing!" And the quiet voice of His Spirit says, "You could be doing a lot, but nothing short of pouring out your whole life is enough. When you submit yourself to your own husband, "as unto the Lord," loving and respecting him as though you were doing it to Jesus Himself, you are "wasting" your life in worshipping Jesus and that is a demonstration of the message of the Gospel- wasting your life in worship...doing unto the least of these as unto the Lord."

Some would say a woman is wasting her life by homemaking or training her kids or willingly submitting to her husband...there's so much more she could be doing! They'd say she's muzzling herself, holding herself back from her full logical, productive and effective use out in the community. And I used fight that (because I was fighting those voices inside my own self), but now I say, "So be it!" Now I say, "I'll gladly be wasted."

Jesus knows. He knows, He sees, He hears that my heart is saying, ' I love you my Lord' as I pour out my life into these. I submit to my husband as unto the Lord- the perfume of my life poured out on Jesus' head.

I say, "I pour my life out Lord, here, where voices from within and without scold me and accuse me of wasting the treasure I have on my husband and kids when I could be doing so much more in "ministry".

Receive my worship Lord. I love you! I want my life to smell like the perfume of extravagant love "wasted" on You my King! You're worth the "wasting." It is no waste, it's my worship!


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