I was thinking the other day about the patterns in my life. I have bursts of creativity that tend to fizzle and fade. But writing has been a steady pattern of unsteadiness since I was about 10 years old. I have bursts of creativity in writing that still fizzle and fade but they don't stay gone forever. They return.
I have a theory. My theory is when I am meditating on God's word daily I produce bursts of creativity in writing. And when I skip reading my Bible or don't stop to really meditate on something I've read that creativity begins to fizzle and fade. So basically, you can look back at my patters of writing and almost create a direct correlation between how much I write and how much time I spend chewing on God's word. So it's been what... 4 months. Yeah. Not good.
Which came first the lack of Bible or the depression? I don't know, but they definitely spin each other into a dark spiraling pit.
So life has been dark and hard lately. But in the darkness and silence of God that is so hard to live with for me I am being held up by truths that are laid under me like a firm foundation.
As I was plodding through my Bible readings the other day, longing to drink something that would quench my parched soul, it struck me that I need to speak out loud the truths I'm standing on even though I don't feel the refreshment of them right now. And in doing this I feel the break in the dryness give way to a burst of life-giving water. It's the way it works. It's the way faith works. It's the way living by faith works.
When you say what God says in agreement with him, believing him, it builds the faith you had to believe what he said in the first place.
But what does it say? "The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart" (that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. -Romans 10:8-9
So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ. -Romans 10:17
It's the truth: The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. - 1 Timothy 1:15
I need a savior. And I have Him! And He has me! And He would have you too if you would have Him. He's the bedrock foundation I'm standing on in this darkness.