My Love Dare journey- the first couple days8:05 PM
If you've been reading my blog you probably know some of my "Love Dare" story. Actually, I'm really glad someone decided to call a book "The Love Dare" cause that's exactly what it has been for me and continues to be.
My Love Dare journey didn't really begin 2 days ago (even though I'm on day 2 of the book), it really began 4 years ago. You can read more about that here, but in short, my husband and I nearly divorced (papers were filed) while I was pregnant with our 2nd son 4 plus years ago. During that time God's Spirit filled me with a desire to treat my husband with an unconditional love I'd never experienced for him before. It wasn't dependent upon him reconciling with me, it was just overflowing out of me. During that time I knew the love of Christ experientially, even though it's past knowing logically. I had never really known the love of Christ before that even though I trusted Him for my salvation. After 8 months of separation, my husband and I reunited. God's amazing love was beginning to woo my husband through His broken and flawed vessel- me!
Since that time I have had to come to grips with my expectations and disappointments. I have had to choose whether to continue to love, even though I wasn't getting the response I hoped for, or to tell God it wasn't working out the way I thought and go looking for another, less vulnerable way.
It's really this past year (2008) that I began to confess and purge myself through prayer of the coldness towards Christ I was developing. I thought it was coldness towards my husband, and it was towards him too, but really I was shrinking back from letting Christ continue to love my husband through me by shrinking back from loving my husband with the daring love Christ began producing in me 4 years ago.
Watching Fireproof last week really was a turning point for me. I realized I needed to not only stop being cold and shrinking back, but purposefully lead my heart towards passionate agape love for my husband and towards my Lord Jesus who desires to love through me again!
So I bought the Love Dare book.
I'm only 2 days into the book and already I'm so encouraged.
A couple things I love about this book right off the bat are:
- It gets you meditating on scripture and what God says about love
- It doesn't require your partner to be involved... it only takes one person willing to love with the love of Christ.
Even if your marriage is "perfect", this book is a great tool to help you know the love of Christ better as it's presented in scripture. But you won't really know it experientially until you reach out to love someone who doesn't return your love. And that's the second reason I'm loving this book so far. Unlike many marriage help books I've read, this one only requires one person to commit to letting their lives be a living sacrifice and a vessel through which the Spirit of God can love another.
Day 1 and 2 have had me focusing on not speaking any negative thing. I've been really conscious of what I say more and have been also looking for ways to show kindness. I've, unfortunately, been in the middle of a very bad... um... you know... monthly... uh, woman-thing time. So I haven't done any extras really as far as kind things towards my husband. But I can say for sure that just having the ability to reign in my emotions and my words and my sensitivity during the past few days, while still doing what needs to be done in this home, and having conversations that I might otherwise get irritated with, has been a sure evidence of God's Spirit at work in me. I know this is not my norm during this time of the month... I'm usually much more disposed towards rudeness and anger. So I just thank God for giving me the desire of my heart these two days... my desire to be patient and kind and self-controlled.
Are you doing the Love Dare? If so I'd love to hear it's effect on your life in the comments.
May the Lord give us a passionate desire to know His love and to make His love known to our husbands and to others!
Redeeming the time