My Love Dare journey- Day 5 and 61:58 PM
In my mind this Love Dare equals gardening of the heart.
I'm picking up the book = I'm picking up the weed pulling and digging tool.
I'm reading the book = I'm tearing the hardened soil and breaking up the crusty ground.
I'm praying over what I read and weeping = I'm watering the tilled soil.
I'm looking up the scriptures and writing down my plans to carry out the dare and committing to do them before the Lord = I'm piercing the soil of my heart with the sharp seed of love and trusting God to make it grow.
I'm hiding in the office after everyone goes to bed to review for a few minutes how "the dare" went and what the results were = I'm plucking weeds and giving thanks for the sprouts I see popping up along with the fruit I see maturing on the growing tree.
Day 5 and 6 have really been the hardest. I mean if you had sensory nerves connected to the soil in your garden, you wouldn't be so quick to take a hoe to it! I've really been FEELING the pain of breaking up the cold-growing areas of love in my heart. It's a good pain though.
Day 5 had me asking my husband to tell me 3 things about me that made him feel uncomfortable or irritated. I REALLY didn't want to do that. Come on! It's like standing there with the shovel, handing it to my husband and saying, "Go ahead, stab me with it!" But, at the midnight hour, I did. It wasn't so much cause I was putting it off, it's just that he was gone all day and I didn't want to hit him with probing questions when he just walked in the door.
I thought for sure he'd refuse to answer. In the past I think my wave of emotions and sensitivity have made him suspect of any questions I may ask which probe into the area of personal relationships. So I figured he would just say, "I don't know," coldly and leave that can of worms untouched. But, to my surprise, he answered. I had prayed that he would answer. I asked God to give him the vulnerability to hit me with that shovel. I asked for it!!! :)
Here's what he said:
- Your forgetfulness
- Your lack of attention to detail
That was it! He said he could only think of two. I think he was being nice :)
He's right about both of those things... they are irritating. They irritate me about me!!!!
I really don't know what to do to change them practically. I have formed a habit of writing things down in a notebook so I dont' forget. I thought it was helping. As far as my lack of attention to detail I truly feel like I don't have the luxury of attending to detail. I just barely get through the day keeping things picked up. But, I want these things to change about me for God's glory. So I'm praying and listening for how the Spirit would teach me in ways that would show James I love him enough to work on them.
As far as day 6... I'm still working on it. I'll let you know.
How's your Love Dare going?